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Why is everyone looking for love? Cant we just agree that we would be happy finding someone to get thru the day with, not a life? Thats how it should start. You don't get love on the first day, its something you work toward. Takes trust and caring, and those things arent automatic for some.

ShayKay 3 Apr 16

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24 comments

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7

Because it's like a fix, it's such an amazing feeling, so much art exists because of it. Unfortunately that initial intense feeling doesn't last...

Well that's good to know; thank you. I hope to experience that one day.

4

The biggest fallacy in the "search for love" is, in my opinion, that so many people buy into the Platonic ideal of "finding" your "soulmate."

There is no such thing (IMO) as love at first sight. There is, however, chemistry at first contact, which I had with my darlin' dear. Love DID follow quite quickly; but becoming and staying soulmates was a negotiated contract, one that was renegotiated as necessary.

What we had was originally intended to be a one night stand; it lasted over 26 years, to the day she died in my arms, a little over 2 years ago. We often joked about having the longest one night stand in history.

While I would someday like to find a new partner in crimes against mundanity, I am in no hurry, and not actively looking. Maybe when I get back on my feet (recovering from foot surgery), and back to school

4

I take one day at a time. You can't predict the future.

3

I’m looking for someone to walk hand in hand with today. Someone that inspires me to be my best and whom I can inspire. I don’t expect to be in love with someone that I haven’t gotten to know and it takes time to know a person.

3

I am not but maybe because I am 70y.o.and have had quite a lot of love and am still with a partner of 35 years, I think its quite rare to find someone who ticks all the boxes many of my friends seem to have expectations of their partners; which they can't meet; - I think I was probably like that when I was y0unger imagining that it would all be magical and happy ever after and didnt realise the messes that could unfold and the courage to overcome them - nowadays I am pretty serene probably because I have not got a great memory.

2

Everyone is looking for love because it is so dificult to live without it, whether you're in a romantic elationship, a child, a sibling, a parent or just a friend. I think your approach to achieving love is right on target. By the way, do you like older men?

Sorry....

2

I was once of that mindset and married a good suitable match however it was not fulfilling at all. There was always something missing and eventually ended a good relationship/friendship. Then I met someone who turned my world upside down and the key ingredient was romantic intimate vulnerable love. Life now finally seemed compete, I’ve never felt more fulfilled. Like you I did not think it was necessary till I got a taste of it and now will forever seek to find a relationship like that again because it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt. Side note scientifically romantic love stimulates the same area of the brain as illicit drugs.

2

You're right.

2

I'm not looking for love.

2

Not everyone is. There are a lot of us who are here for community, intelligent discourse, and escape from theists who surround us much of the time. I am sure most of us, if single, wouldn't be adverse to finding someone, but realistically I don't see it happening.

JimG Level 8 Apr 16, 2018
2

You're kidding me you mean all the Ghana people that try to cont me they tell me within just an hour that they are my soul mate. To boot they say they are god fearing. I respond you fear a fictional magical creature.

LOL

2

Well stated.

2

Not everyone is looking for love. Some of us are quite happy living on our own, without a
a partner.

2

Love is bonding, why not instant long term ?

1

I can agree with that, all of it. Just like religion, relationships are pigeonholed into preconceived beliefs even when all evidence points to something else, anything else sometimes.

Very rational point of view!

1

I don't think people are looking for love at first sight. I think they're looking for potential. It's human nature to want to streamline processes. Life is short and if we can start with some things already established, like common interests and philosophies and compatible sexualities, we don't end up barking up the wrong tree and possibly angering people.

1

I'm not looking for love. I'm looking for companionship. There is a BIG difference in my opinion.

1

That is where I am at as well.

1

Nothing wrong with looking for love. I just don't get what the rush is to declare that you've found it.

I typically meet two kinds of guys: the ones who want to bang you once to put a notch on their bedpost, and never want to see you again (second time with the same person doesn't get them another notch) and the ones who are choosing bridesmaids' dresses after exchanging three texts.

Where is the happy medium of spending some time with someone who you know is also looking for a relationship, and seeing if one develops? It seems to be very much elusive.

Really? I'd not bother with either of those 2 options! Better luck in the future.

0

I suspect that most see love as the ultimate level of friendship. I have friends that I truly love as family so don't forget that love isn't just something between 'partners' and its broad spectrum includes the feelings most parents have for their children and syblings have for each other as well as that other 'love' that might include sex and marriage of at least spending a life together.

0

I think a lot of people think that finding someone else will "complete" them, which is why there's the desire for instant relationship. Doesn't happen that way. You need to complete yourself, and then you find someone to compliment that. A hard lesson for me to learn.

0

I have enough love from my friends. I don't need that one special person to make me feel all gooey inside. I just want a different person every night to make me feel gooey everywhere.

0

There idealistic in an unrealistic quest.

Idealism is a goal while realism or the lack of it is a condition.

yes we agree then

0

Marketing.

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