Agnostic.com

25 10

I'm defiantly happier since I been an Atheist and my mind opening to more things like dating outside my own race. I'm a white man and I think I might be happier if I dated outside my own race. Interacial couples are on the rise and why not. My religious family has problem with that for some reason. A life partner shouldn't be determined by color of their skin. Any tips on dating someone outside my race?

freedom41 8 July 13
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

25 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

10

Don't let skin color determine who you date. They are just a human like you.

8

First it seems to me that it would always be best to date people that you're interested in instead of requiring a certain racial profile.

Of course in order to even associate with people of another race you need to participate in activities that are interracial.

Spot on.

8

Treat anybody that you date as if they are a normal decent human being.

The members of your religious family are flaunting their own personal insecurities.

For what it is worth, I do not see any correlation between skin colour and opportunities for happiness.

7

I think you intended to write that you're definitely happier, but I kind of love the idea of being defiantly happy. 😁

You said that you think you might be happier dating outside of your race. Out of curiosity, why do you think that is? You said, too, that you think a life partner shouldn't be based on skin color, so I'm a little confused regarding your perspective. Are you saying that you'd be happier to be in a relationship specifically with someone who isn't white? Or are you saying that you'd be happier to feel like it's an option? Or am I entirely missing your meaning?

As for tips, I've got nothing specific to dating interracially. My dating history hasn't been particularly exhaustive, and I haven't dated anyone who wasn't predominantly Caucasian. That said, unless there were a significant cultural difference that needed special consideration, my instinct is to just treat every potential partner as an individual whom I need to get to know in her own unique way.

I was going to say the same thing about being defiantly happy. That might be my new motto.

@redhog agreed!!

Defiantly happy doesnt seen genuine. Genuine happiness is the same regardless of opposition. Defiantly happy is despite opposition.

7

I pleased to see more and more posts from people confidently declaring themselves an an atheist.

On mixed race relationships, all I can say is that I am in one and married, and they carry their own challenges. All relationships are a challenge, though. Just life.

7

Honesty is the most important.
Be sure there’s a mutual attraction.
Be ready for rejection too because whoever you date has a family that may disapprove.
Don’t let your respect waver, every girl is a Disney Princess of some kind at their core.
Communicate too because cis people don’t talk with each other nearly enough, be vulnerable.
I assume you aren’t into same sex relationships based on your profile, if I misread it I’m very sorry for assuming.

Yes, I'm into same sex relationships. I consider myself bi. For the moment I'm more into women than men. If, I found the right man I would get off the fence.

@freedom41 Then there’s some danger of experiencing similar fear to what you experienced in your first same sex encounter. For me I danced at the edge of a panic attack. Now under the same circumstances I’d be calmer even if it were going badly, like “You’re not the only three women and two guy on the planet.” But then again that was 1982.

@Willow_Wisp My first same sex encounter was a little less nerve racking than going on a date with a woman. However, I let my faith and insecuirty win instead of going further. I do wish I left religion in my 20s instead of my forties. Maybe, I would less fucked up now.

6

"Defiantly" or "definitely"?

Don't choose whom to date based on skin color. I've had a couple of relationships with Black men, and both of them would have been definitely upset had I dated them because they were Black. And "why not" is one of the dumbest reason I have heard for dating anyone.

And if they wanted to date me because I am white, I definitely would not have dated them.

And being open to dating outside of one's ethnicity has nothing to do with being an atheist.

6

Date who you like. Period. Their race is relevant only to outsiders who ultimately don't even matter. And as an atheist who knows we only live once in this universe, you owe it to yourself to live and think that way. Good luck.

5

Don’t even consider race at all, is my advice. It doesn’t matter, like you said.
Love doesn’t discriminate.

Mvtt Level 7 July 13, 2021
5

Just get to know each other , dating should be spontaneous not by race, just be color blind and see the person

bobwjr Level 10 July 13, 2021
5

My ex of 12 years is a Kenyan woman. I suppose I have always liked black women even though I have also been married to white. My best advice in getting along with people of other races is to be yourself. Do not do "put on" hand shakes, jestures, or words to prove you are one of "them", the other race. People can tell if you are sincere or a fake. I can tell you for sure that when you date outside your race you quickly find out just who the racists really are. You find it out on a personal level.

4

I fail to see any relationship to atheism and interracial dating,

More important you should date someone you are attracted to, irrespective of that person's race

4

I have dated mostly black men for a while, mostly because I got tired of spending time with white men then having them come out with something racist. I do agree with others who have said don't date someone only because they are black. Get to know people, hopefully the right one will present herself.

I don't doubt that a lot of white men around our age express casual racism, but have none of the black men you've ever dated said anything racist?

@OldMetalHead no, but I've often said I can't blame black people for not liking white people. I think we have and still do give them plenty to not like. Even those of us who aren't racist still benefit from the systems that work against them, and if we aren't actively working to dismantle them, we're still part of the problem. It isn't enough to be not racist. We have to be anti racist

@JonnaBononna In my experience of being in the Army I was friends with several black men. I wasn't really talking about anti-white bias, which I find totally understandable. My roommate and several other black men I've known have expressed anti-Asian bias. This was all before the well publicized tension in LA between the two communities. And, my roommate at least, being from Cleveland, really had no negative experiences to draw on.

3

I've been married to a Korean woman for 30 years, almost by accident I think. although, I've always been pretty free in my dating habits, I wasn't looking to date anyone when I met my wife. We hit it off almost immediately. I was living in her country at the time we met. I feel like it is healthy and positive to experience different perspectives and cultures, and I feel like these experiences have led to personal growth for me. One word of warning about dating and especially marrying outside of your race/culture. It can certainly lead to some friction and misunderstandings, only further exacerbated if there's a language barrier. Try to be as open minded as possible.

3

Only choose a partner if you really care about them (not their skin color).

BethPl Level 5 July 13, 2021
3

Well I decided it against it long ago. I had already put up with religious discrimination for my whole life and wasn't about to add racial discrimination to it. So just be prepared for racial discrimination that you've never encountered personally, or probably any discrimination for that matter. Can you overcome it or learn to live with it, sure, just be prepared to have to defend yourself and your significant other.

lerlo Level 8 July 13, 2021

It does complicate things and add stress for both of you, esp. if you live in a culturally backward state like I do. Lots of staring and some open hostility in public, at least that I have seen and heard about from people in mixed race couples I have known or talked to. Still, things are more accepting and tolerant in Iowa than it was when I was young.

3

No tips here. But I had given up on white women until I met my white girlfriend.
I don't mean to insult or judge any women here, just talking about my own experiences. I truly lost interest in anyone who's expectations are through the roof......

twill Level 7 July 13, 2021
2

I would not recommend race to be your reason to asking someone on a date. If you are already attracted to someone because of compatibility and they just happen to look different that you, then that's great. But don't let race be the basis you use for choosing someone to date. That would be just weird.

Deb57 Level 8 July 16, 2021
2

Sounds like a recipe for disaster. Your approach seems racist at best. Race, gender, size age should not matter at all…….so long as she has nice breasts….that is essential 😉

You dog, you, lol!

2

It shouldn't matter, whatever you are attracted to. Yes it is a big part of who you are, but we need to stop judging people based on things they can't contr9l.

2

Watch out for the women from overseas, particularly if they have not established themselves with a career here. You don't know for certain whether she loves you for you, or whether she wants you for:

  1. A green card.
  2. Your money.
  3. As a means to get her family into the USA.

If you are dating someone who is not a US resident, take it VERY slowly.

BD66 Level 8 July 14, 2021

Sounds very wise. I would never try that route for finding a partner, tho a couple women have even suggested it to me in the past, imagine that, from white women raised in the US. You sound like you may be speaking from experience, either your own or that of friends.

2

Your religious family has a problem with it for one simple reason. Religion breeds racism and bigotry. It has since the beginning of time. Dont let religious history fool you. The Crusades had less to do with the holy land and more to do with "their skin is brown"

redhog Level 7 July 13, 2021
2

Before you date outside your race, make sure you spend some time hanging around with people of another race. There are different cultural norms and cultural styles.

I've done quite a lot of this, including having long-term relationships with women of different races. Of course, that was back in the 20th century.

Also, work on your English grammar.

1

I am open to dating someone who isn't white, but am very skeptical about it ever succeeding, since it's tough enough to find a woman even in my race that shares my offbeat, at least for Iowa, cultural and lifestyle traits. In fact, I recently connected and even met up in person with a woman who was black, and we seemed to hit it off well. But then she blocked me a couple days later on the dating site, after not returning my first phone call to her, etc. My guess is she was just too young for me, nine years younger, and used to dating men who preferred texting to actually talking on the phone, like I do. Live and learn, I need to date women my own age who are not into all the texting and being tied all the time into social media and tech. Someone more old fashioned, like me. The experience made me gunshy about ever approaching someone again on a dating site who isn't white, as she seemed to have no problem with that. First time that I ever tried someone not white.

0

are you a blm plant?

Like Black-eyed Susans?

@Canndue .............. not bad....for whitey

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:609235
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.