Thank you for having the courage to post this moving personal story and trusting us to listen.and respond. I have thankfully never had to make the choice you were faced with, and neither have any of the judges of the Supreme Court, or the Texan legislature, or the pro-life zealots and campaigners. Nobody has a right to compel a woman to continue with a pregnancy against her wishes, that idea is quite obscene and repellent in my opinion. Nobody has the right to judge a woman who wishes to terminate a pregnancy because we are not that woman and have no idea why she feels she can’t have a child at that time…only she can be the judge of that.

I’m sorry that you found out too late your husband was so weak that he took out the result of his own refusal to use a condom on you in such a violent way. You are right though to focus on the positives that came out of your union with him, your beautiful daughter, and your son.

I have always believed it was a woman’s right to choose, not in a capricious way as the religious right would paint it, but something that is done with thought and through personal circumstance. I also believe that we need to educate our young people better in relationships and sexual matters, focussing on respect and taking personal responsibility for contraception when we become sexually active, particularly important for young men to realise this point.

Like you I have also always believed it’s every child’s birthright to be a wanted and loved child by their mother (in an ideal world their father too). How can it be right to force a woman to carry a child she doesn’t want or feel she can look after or love…even worse a child who was conceived by coercion or rape.

This latest decision by the US Supreme Court not to overturn this new law in Texas is worrying to say the least, and I hope President Biden can find a way to circumvent this decision as he has indicated he is looking at.

It is brave of you to share your personal pain so openly. It was not a fun read, but I did commit to reading it all though. Sadly though I think that any of the people who really need to read it, and who would benefit from reading it, simply won't be reading it. There is a wide communication gap, I am sorry to say.

People in some cultures, are, and especially, were, trained to believe that being unkind was the best response to many situations. My own wife found herself in a very similar situation as a young woman, many years before we met, when she was deserted while pregnant, and sadly it was her own mother who beat her very severely.

I’m sorry that you went through all that, but glad you’re here now talking about this important subject. I too have had an abortion. Two in fact. The first one resulted from a rape at age 16. The second was when I was married and the fetus was discovered to have terrible birth defects. The heart and lungs were developing outside the body cavity. You are right, no woman wants to have an abortion, but they are a necessary part of healthcare for women.

Sorry that you had to go through that and now many women in Texas will too.

A bunch of hugs for being you . Many of us bottle it up for fear of being judged. Thank you for having the courage to share your experience. It has made you stronger and shaped who you are today.

You should never be judged especially about this, what you went through was a horror. Sending you love and kisses which you do deserve

Thanks for sharing. These fucking hypocrites right wing republican assholes claim to care about the babies. Where the fuck were these "caring" imbeciles when babies were separated from their immigrant mom's? Where the fuck are these fucking hypocrites when cops kill black teens or when they cut food stamps to have babies starving in America? Where the fuck are these caring pro lifers when there are millions of homeless in our own country? They don't care about life, babies grow up you stupid asswipes, not caring about these grown up babies now do ya?

A very sad read. Thank you for sharing openly and honestly.

It is a war on women. Protection of the child and scripture .....not really.

First, you have my every empathy. You've been through a horrendous ordeal. I am glad to see that you have a better life now.

I think people do appreciate the struggles women have to make an abortion choice and more importantly I think they need to hear them. It's so easy to judge a single statement, "I've had an abortion." but not so easy to dismiss the circumstances that made that decision the final choice. Thank you for sharing. You never know when the final pin drops in someone's brain that they realize that it's not their business to make choices for others or to condemn someone. I'm a firm believer in body autonomy, regardless the reasons but you are right, no one wants to get an abortion and when they have decided they are necessary that woman should not be shamed or harassed for it. More importantly, it should always be available to her.

I hope you find peace in life and I'm happy to see all the support here for you. Be well.

Thank you for sharing. This site is the place to share these things. The supportive responses I am sure have helped you set aside whatever negative feelings you may have had over the decision you made long ago.

Yikes!

Thank you for sharing all that.

Your husband was not a man, he was a monster, and he typifies the entire misogynistic paternalistic mentality that every Repugnicant stands for, as exemplified by his blatant refusal to accept his responsibilities. Your mother was little better.

I also fully support all those comments below.

Thank you so much for sharing your story, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Very brave of you to share your experience and insight. Too bad the legislators in Republican ran states don’t really care, they are just pandering to their over zealous base.

hope the telling hs a positive effect

Glad you finally felt open to telling your story. For a large part of my life I had heard stories about abortion from one source, the Catholic church. I married a woman who was pregnant (by me) but we had no qualms about getting married. Neither of us were excited about bringing a child into the world at this time of our life. 8 years later we ended up divorcing and she basically kidnapped our daughter and moving halfway around the world. Later we were reunited and today are best friends. I then met another woman who supported abortion. I still was ignorant and did not but it was her choice so I would say nothing. Later I discovered she was alcoholic and the disease ran in her family. The thought of bringing another person into the world possibly alcoholic was too much for her to bear. Also, having to have the burden of caring for a child and deal with alcoholism was an added reason. After 12 years that relationship crashed. In the meantime I joined the environmental movement, left the church and, with hearing another side of abortion came to embrace it. My late partner once told me she had had two abortions. At her last pregnancy she had the child and got her tubes tied. I did not understand why (I had asked her often and she only said, in her country, Iran, the man was responsible for family planning so she had little choice. Conversing and thinking on this site things started to add up. Her husband was a dominant male from a very patriarchal country. He took her when he wanted and she had little choice. I doubt he even knew of her pregnancy (he definitely would have been against abortion). In the end she finally figured out a way to deal with having to always get an abortion but she never let it make her ashamed and was free in discussing her abortions. Sometimes it has to be done and no one should be ashamed of it. Today, I support, financially, several abortion advocacy groups. Information is often critical about how one feels about divisive issues. One thing I think we never consider is that on this planet the number of sentient humans is infinite. To me this puts the loss of another human in context. In the world of today with so much stress and so many suicides from the youth perhaps it can be seen as sparing someone a lot of suffering.

thank you for sharing a part of yourself thru your story. i hope it can bring you more power to be you. i know what it's like to be on the receiving end of domestic abuse, and the feeling of having no support or choices. More power to you @Julie808. thanks again.

Thank you for sharing that powerful story. More stories need to be told.

Thank you for sharing your story! This is why we need more equal gender representation in all branches of government and more Ruth Bader Ginsberg's in the high court here in the US.....I would like, once again, in my waning years to be proud of my country.

Wow, so much going on there I don't know what to say. Kudos to you on several fronts. As for the hard nose pro-lifers: psychologically, they cannot be swayed. It's too emotional and oftentimes religious for them to be practical ("live in a reality based world" ) about it.

Thank you for sharing your story. I was in a similar situation at the time of my abortion. I was 20 years old at the time, married to an absolute abusive asshole. I think the main reason I married him was to piss off my father, but that's another horrible story. Rather than be trapped in a miserable marriage AND raising a child I did not want, I convinced him that it wasn't the right time for children, so we went to a clinic a couple of hours away from where we lived. All I can say that afterward I felt nothing but a huge relief. I ended up leaving him within a year after that. That was 37 years ago, and to this day I still have no regrets for my decision--the abortion or my divorce from my husband. I was looking at the bigger picture, and I chose MY LIFE.

I can not begin to imagine what you went through. I am glad you are now in a better place and thank you for sharing your story.

My sister in law faced the same viewpoint with her mother as you did. Her first husband (not my brother) was abusive and when she ran home for help was told she had to make her marriage work. That is the reason why we still have victim blaming when women are raped and why incel are so angry (I mean how dare women expect to be treated with the same respect as men, women are here to serve men not have any say over their lives).

My sketchy understanding of the new law in Texas is that if a woman had a backyard abortion and then ended up in hospital with any of the hundreds of complication from that she would then be arrested. So would the person who carried out the procedure. I believe Brazil has the same law and a woman is in jail because she had a miscarriage and the courts decided she did something to cause it (I don't believe there was any evidence of her doing something but they said she had)

Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal story. I think(hope) most here would listen and support you and your decisions. Such stories need to to told and shared

when roe came to be babies were found in trash bins most of them dead and no DNA to prove who left the child
women were dying from back room abortions by a ?Lady of some butcher" or from self attempts at abortion

making it illegal will never stop abortions
I have yet to see one of those screaming about banning abortions stepping up to help support or raise an unwanted baby