Attn: Beneficiary,

I am Mr.John Michael Flint, group chief executive (CEO) of HSBC
private bank London, I am writing you this letter because a cool penny
is better than millions of dollars. It is better for one to live and
die a poor honest man than a rich dishonest one. I and Dr.Alison
Vincent, chief information security officer, HSBC private bank have
arranged with an insider in the computer strong room to bring out your
part payment amounting five million United States dollars. We did this
because according to information gathered from the bank's computer
room, you have been waiting for a long time to receive your fund
without success. We also found out that you have almost met all the
statutory requirements of the bank for the release of your fund, your
problem is that of interest groups.

A lot of people are interested in your payment and those people are
merely doing paper work with you and that explains why you
receives,emails and phone messages from different people. Also we
found out that officials of various ministries have been extorting a
lot of money from you in the pretext of helping you and we advise you
now to stop and do away with those scammers.

I am willing to help you get your money but please for top security
reasons do not tell anybody until you receive cash at your doorstep.
The money is padded in a trunk security-proof box weighing 50kg, I
went to four different courier services to make arrangements on how to
ship them by courier service. Dhl, Ems, FedEx and Gls, all said that
they must open the box for inspection by the customs before shipment.
This is something we want to avoid because the box was padded with a
machine, i told the courier service that the box contains
photographic and film materials and when opened will lose its
efficacy.

Today a friend of mine who is a good Christian i disclosed this with
told me that there is a Government courier service we can use to send
the package and it will be sealed under permit and privacy and cannot
be inspected by any customs anywhere in the world. The name of the
courier service is noble diplomatic security courier company (NDSCC) I
will meet with them as soon as i have your go ahead order.

Please maintain topmost secrecy as it may cause a lot of problems if
found out that we are using this way to help you, do not ever tell
anybody about this until you have your cash with you. I want to help
you because i will soon retire from my government and i want to come
over to your country with my family so that you can assist me when i
relocate to your country with my family.

Thank you and please furnish us with the below information.

(a) your full name
your receiving address
your private phone/cell numbers. God is with us as we wait for your reply.

Yours faithfully,
Mr.John Michael Flint
Group chief executive (CEO) HSBC

So this is the email I got while at work few hrs ago . Friends , it’s a slow night at ED . Here is what I came up as a response . I like it
I can’t wait to hear back from that scammer

Hi there . Well mr Michael , we got a problem ! No wood box can be in my house ! 5 million dollars sounds ok , and I can certainly help u out when u decide to re locate . But I can’t receive anything in my house that is made from wood ! I will not be able to touch the box and get the money . I can’t even have the smell of the wood in my house , the reactions will be severe as death . Everything started long time ago , when I was a young child . I was living w my family at our private island and I was enjoying my time . One horrible day , while walking with my nanny on the beach , A huge bird came from nowhere . It was the size of a dragon ! . Probably 5 times bigger than the wood box w the money . At least 200 kg for sure . The bird flew low , got my nanny from her neck , shook her few times , and then ate her . Just like that . It was scary , especially because in her pocket was my pet lizard Jesus , and that day Jesus was eaten too
Well, after that scary big bird ate my nanny , I started running back to our villa . I made it while that dragon was breathing on my neck the whole time , and before I had a chance to warn our servants and our gardener and my parents , this huge scary bird was eating one by one everyone in the household . Everyone !!! Including my father . That day , I became an orphan . It was very hard but thank u god , we were very rich , and I inherited all my family’s money . Unfortunately I also couldn’t get rid of the bird . He , his name is Willy , stayed with me in the island for 20 yrs . And actually , we became short of friends ! He has not ate another human since 5 weeks ago , and I think this time he is going to keep his promise . One can only hope

Because of him and his needs , I wasn’t able to get an education or get married and have kids . So I am wealthy , but stupid and without family . All of this for Willy . The last 10 yrs , Willy and I live in a villa in south Florida . And we both getting old . Recently I discovered that Willy gets very mad and aggressive at sight or smell of wood . I got rid of all wood floors and other objects , and replaced w marble . I had to re do kitchen cabinets as well , major construction I am telling u , it went well , although Willy ate a plumber and an electrician . Well . They were older anyways , no big deal , pls do not think of Willy as a monster . Just a hungry bird . Since no more wood around Willy , he is much nicer and able to control his appetite . I can’t risk to change that just for 5 million of dollars . I mean , thank u , but not worth the risk . If u find your self in usa , u can always visit us regardless money . But pls do not mention anything about god or christians around Willy . He also gets mad about Jesus and overall , he gets aggressive at sight of cross . He has a great attitude about Satan though . If u worshiping Satan , Willy can be your friend ! Well , good luck to u ,
Thanks again ,
Αναστασία Δεγαμιεσαι
Florida , USA

My only question to u guys , should I send as a reply from my email address ? Doesn’t matter I think , odviously some how they have my email , right ??
The last name that I wrote means “ gofuckyourself” in greek . What do u guys think . Stupid ? I am laughing thou . I had fun writing this today
My nurses think that finally I lost my mind . Agree . Do we care ???