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18 4

WHO'S NAME DO I CALL ON NOW?

It suddenly dawned on me that I am stuck with a bit of a conundrum.
I was taught never to use the name of the *LORT in vain, (a rule that is somewhat questionable.) "Oh My Gawd" ..."Jesus
Jumpin Christ" ya know all of those exclaimations made in moments of excitement or orgasm.

But, now that I am an Agnostic ..." WHO YA GONNA CALL?'

I SUPPOSE "Holy Crap" works except in the case of orgasm..hee hee. But in order to stay true to my Agnostic proclaimation I am going to have to find a substitute.

I have considered using the name of Sponge Bob Square Pants in vain, but some of his members might be offened (there is a Chiurch of Sponge Bob Square Pants, don't cha know)

Meanwhile, I will try to curb my excitement!!!

  • LORT....as Ma Dear would say
#agnostic #holy #Jesus
PhillipSEE 6 Apr 21
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18 comments

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0

Level 6

Thanks guys, I now have a host of very interesting names to call on!! Love it!!

0

Level 5

I'd probaby exclaim "BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!" or Merlins Beard, Thors Balls, etc... all the nerdy ones.

0

Level 7

Malaka [ greek for wanker]

0

Level 8

Try her sister's name just to see what happens.

  • okay, if it's not obvious, I am kidding. I can't be responsible for what might happen if you took that advice.
JimG Level 8 Apr 21, 2018
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0

Level 8

praise Jebus! In the name of the father, the son, and the holy goat.

0

Level 8

Just continue as you always have. It does no harm and gets the point across as good as any.

0

Level 8

CheezeNRice!
JeebusMice!
Holy Batman!

and my favorite..... Fraud Dammit!!

0

Level 9

I have slipped with OMG and Holy shit mostly.

Love it!!!!
0

Level 9

I use the word cosmos.

0

Level 8

What is Lort? Gawd instead of god? Really? Lol.

LORT is a parody for LORD!

The really deep Holier than thou preachers pronounce GOD as GAWD!

Southern people pronounce those that way.

@PhillipSEE Which I already knew. Lol.
0

Level 7

bloody hell, blimey, egad, goodness me, leapin' lizards, holy kamoley

cava Level 7 Apr 21, 2018
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1

Level 8

If you can't even type out "Lord" then you're going to have serious trouble as an agnostic.

That was done on purpose....It's part of my cynical side. The "Ma Dear" pronunciation. LORT

Oh, my question was answered. I asked above, what is lort?

0

Level 9

As a schoolboy I used to exclaim "Fornicating Fuffules" (When I remembered.) However, I suppose it is a bit of a mouthful when all you wish to say is **** me

0

Level 7

Ive never understood the in vain stuff. Why, if you believe in god, would you think it wrong to call out to god when excited or upset?

...and that's the reason why I am here! The non-sense of dogmatic hooyahs
1

Level 8

If you watch any Nickelodeon at all, they’ve come up with some really funny ways to swear. I’ve been compiling a list.

Do tell!!!!!!

Where to start? Dan Schneider is the creator of several shows like Josh and Drake; iCarly; Zoey 101; Victorious; Sam and Cat; and Henry Danger. So his shows all share the same cuss words.

Waz—to use the restroom.
“I’ve got to waz.”

Wazzed off—angry
“What’s got Sikowitz so wazzed off?”

Wazbag—I think you can guess what that is.

Shoosh yah!—instead of saying “Shit yah...”

What the Yuck?
What the What?
—Both of these terms should be pretty self-explanatory.

Chiz—as in “sure as chiz.” True chiz.”

Holy crab!
Awww crab

Hob-Knocker—an offensive way to describe someone. It was first used by a nasty-mean British character on the show iCarly to describe Sam and Carly and Freddie.
Carly: He called us a hob-knocker. What does that even mean?
<Sam whispers in Carly’s ear.>
Carly: That’s gross.
Sam: AND illegal.
But that’s all we know about it’s meaning.

Jank—Totally lame
This show is jank.
These jokes are totally jank.

Jungle Worms—scuzzy little parasites that set themselves up in your intestines.
“What’s giving you jungle worms?”

Nub—someone who is a geek, nerd, or turd.
“If he’s a nub, then I want to be Mrs. Carly Nub”

Skunk Bag—similar to a wazzbag
1

Level 9

I like the idea of "Sweet Raptor Jesus"....

But an awful lot of us keep the old sayings because they are so ingrained.

And that's a terrible time to be thinking about filtering yourself! 😉

2

Level 9

It's still perfectly acceptable to say, "oh god", or "jesus christ", or any other goddamned names you please.
You know, since NONE of them actually ever existed in reality.
It's no different than calling out "Harry fucking Potter".

MOST EXCELLENT!!! Thank you!!!! lmao

@PhillipSEE Blasphemy is a victim-less crime, no matter what anyone else.
0

Level 7

Elvis, obviously. far more popular than jebus, anyway. 🙂

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