Damn, a right wing nutter posing as a lib!? Guess I shouldn’t be surprised, all them right wing nutters fake as shit…..‍

Even I have shaded my profile labels some to prevent the huge amount of rejection that being totally honest would cost me in my conservative, very traditional dating pool. But someone who would radically change their label on religion or something else really a core value, is not to be trusted enough to date. In my case, I have changed, on the advice of my therapist and my friends, my label on drinking alcohol from NO or non-drinker to "Sometimes, depends on the day", as a way of labelling myself as a social drinker, because in my dating pool, being a total non-drinker is a kiss of death in my local culture of social drinking being hugely important in most people's lives.

Same with religion. I identify as " Spiritual, but not religious", which is a mild way to say I am not religious, rather than straight out saying I am Agnostic. Because, once again, most people in my local dating pool are too ignorant to know the meaning of Agnostic and have many negative prejudices about Agnostics and Atheists. Once a woman replies to my first message, I usually tell them I am an Agnostic. I am not trying to trick them, merely trying to get my foot in the door long enough to find out if the woman is strongly religious or unaccepting, since most women's profiles are not very specific about how religious they are and Match has now taken away our ability to view their profile's checklist of traits the member is looking for in a partner. So what choice do I have but to do that, since I am flying blind on who will reject me or not for being non-religious? Of course, if a woman is specific in her profile that she is strongly religious, I don't even bother messaging them.

Everything else, I keep it totally honest and clear about my own traits, except my hatred of country music, because being honest about that in my profile or first message would be too radical, unusual, or seemingly extreme in my local area, that it would prematurely turn off too many women who are mostly compatible with me on music tastes, but still like country music some, tho not their favorite, and would otherwise reject me if I put my music view up front. So, obviously, when you are very offbeat for your local online dating pool, you need to advertise in a way that is as honest as possible, but still giving you enough opportunities with people who are mostly similar to you and willing to compromise and accept some differences between them and you. But that will never happen if your differences are all spelled out so explicitly that that everyone reading about them will assume you are too indiscreet or totally weird to be able to get along with people or fit in with their family or some of their friends. And in that case, you will be seen as too anti-social for their circle and them, so they will reject you before even getting to know you, even tho you and them might actually be pretty compatible.

@TomMcGiverin Yes, we all have to tailor our descriptions of ourselves depending on our environment. The drinking thing is sticky -- if someone says "non-drinker" it can mean a recovering alcoholic or someone for whom alcohol (and other substances) are against religion... If someone says they drink occasionally, that could mean every few hours... So, it's hard to know, but keeping to the middle of the road in that case is wise, for the check boxes, with a more full answer during further communication, unless someone doesn't want to even be tempted by liquor by having it present at the venue.

Piss off about the duplicate post! You know damn well the fucking app did that!

@Buck I'm not PO about the extra posting. All I did was ask you to delete some of them.

I didn’t post them, and could care less, as should you!? ‍

@xenoview He's right, Buck, you may not be responsible, for the duplicates, but only you and the admin. or site support can delete them. And we all know they are MIA, so why not be a nice and helpful guy, rather than a defensive dick, and remove them? Just be a grownup, rather than childish and stubborn...

I wonder the same thing. I feel sure there are lots of women, even in my local area, that are at least non-religious, if not Agnostic or Atheist, because the numbers of them at the local Unitarian church have them in the majority there, but the problem is that probably most of those non-believing women are either already taken, not interested in dating, or unwilling to use dating sites.

And yes, being alone is still better than being with the wrong person or kind of person for you.

She wandered off in 2009, my divorce lawyer found her in 2010. Given she left my in poor health, destitute and in debt, there was nothing to fight over….

We all need and deserve to have standards, and at least a few dealbreakers, in our dating preferences, with the understanding, of course, that each of them narrows our chances of finding a match and how many suitable people we will meet and end up dating in the game.

I absolutely did not make duplicate posts, wtf would I?! ‍

@Buck Nevertheless, the site system produced four total postings of your post. Why not delete three of them?

My comment above about standards and dealbreakers was a reply to you. Sorry it ended up above your comment for some reason.

@TomMcGiverin No apology necessary..... And I agree with every word you said.

@TheoryNumber3 Thanks, that is very flattering to hear..

@creative51 So they can save our souls and drag us off to church, been there done that….

@creative51 Then don’t laugh, I have no fucks to give….‍

@creative51 Quite true. I have been a member of two Unitarian churches in my area. But I would add one caveat about Unitarian women. In my experience, many of the older single ones, say age 50 or older, are so rabidly feminist, to the point of being fairly negative about men in general, and very closely tied to their Unitarian sisters in the church congregation and other outside female friends, as well as their kids and grandkids, if they have them, that a lot of them are really not interested in dating men. And it is not because of any lesbian sexual orientation or such, they simply come to feel that romantic and sexual relationships with men are not important or relevant to their lives anymore. Which is fine, but it can be pretty disappointing and frustrating for single Unitarian men who come to church looking for a partner. Fortunately for me, I was married for most of my years with that church. I went there sporadically for a couple years after I was widowed, but stopped going after I no longer felt I fit in there socially anymore, with all the couples, the young families and all these dedicated, content spinsters and otherwise uninterested women my age.

Gotta appreciate the multi tasker type, for sure!?‍

Maybe one of those Florida gators ate her!? I her catholic communists taste just like chicken!!!

@Buck Come to think of it, she did have a kinda salty taste.

That is astounding, considering the local culture there. I live in a metro area of more close to 300k, but have yet to meet a single person from this site, tho a couple women have been members here and left quickly after they joined. I think there have been a few men from my area on here as well, but they too were never interested in meeting me, understandably, I suppose, since they only joined for dating and never got involved in the community on Agnostic.

@TomMcGiverin right...I know even for a town that small, there have to be at least 9 churches. It's absurd

@JonnaBononna I know it well, JB. I once lived for two years in a small town of 2500 that had about that many churches and only two bars, plus a bowling alley that sold booze and had a bar in it. It taught me that there is something seriously fucked up, at least by my standards, in any place where that kind of ratio of churches to bars is going on....

I’ve developed a strong distaste for bigoted ignorance I suppose….

I can keep my lack of religion to myself most of the time with a partner, but I would never be able to keep my politics to myself in a relationship, so that is why I could date a moderately religious woman, but never a conservative one.

@TomMcGiverin same.

If all the gay men hovering on my page is any indication, I wouldn’t be alone too long if I were gay…..

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