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What is the most effective way to deal with Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons or other religious door knockers?

By snytiger69
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43 comments

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3

Tell them you are an Atheist. It has yet to fail me.

Sticks48 Level 9 May 2, 2018

I've tried that. They get get excited about wanting to save me.

@snytiger6 Don't smile when you say it. Attitude is everything when you want to get rid of people. Practice your mean face if you are so inclined to be a nice person all the time. ?

@Sticks48 That must be it. I am a nice person.

@snytiger6 I'm sorry. ?

3

We have been blacklisted by both and 7th Day Adventists.

You should post detailed instruction on how to get "blacklisted" from various religious groups.

@snytiger6 Pretending they are from escort agencies and late for the orgy seems to be a good start, asking them to explain the Book of Jasher sends them thumbing through their bible, as they say there is no such book, Yet when you ask them to look up the following:

  1. Joshua 10:13 "And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher?"
  2. Samuel 1:18 "Also he bade them teach the children of Judah the use of the bow: behold, it is written in the book of Jasher."
    I think they consider us too much hard work and seek easier prey.

@Rugglesby Interesting that this book was dropped, although at one time it seemed to be considered sacred. (I had to look it up)

1

A large pentagram painted on the front door works wonders.

Does the pentagram need to be upside down?

I know Wiccans sometimes use the upright pentagram indicating positive magic.

I'd worry about vandalism or hate crimes with a pentagram on my door.

@snytiger6 Good point. Upside down would be the way to go. Clearly people are not afraid of harassing Wiccans, but you'd have to be a special kind of stupid to fuck with an alleged Satanist. ?

@ElSuperbeasto Believers are a special kind of stupid. Especially those who proselytize.

2

I have a sign on my door that's a picture of emptily smiling people, one holding up a bible, in a circle with a line through it. Haven't heard from them since I put it up about a year ago.

Where can I get one of those?

@snytiger6 Amazon. I think I typed in 'no religion door sign.'

@memorylikeasieve Just looked at Amazon. Not much of a selection. If i were to put soemthign up, I'd want ti to be big enough to read and also to look nice.

3

Super soaker?

Yeah, that sounds good. Hit them int he crotch area and then you also spare all your neighbors.

4

I’m a confirmed INFJ/ introvert. I don’t answer my door, unless it’s family; they text first. I don’t answer my phone, either, lol. Same criteria.

@Billboy That’s a scary big dick, even I would run, lol!

5

That's easy.

?

With that door knocjer, ansering the door naked would be a logical expectation.

1

I say greet them with baby oil and gay porn...

LOL... I am gay, but don't own any porn. I do like the idea though.

1

Once I yelled over my shoulder "is the chicken sacrifice ready yet?" They left right away. smile001.gif

poetdi56 Level 7 May 2, 2018
2

That is exactly the way I deal with them. If I have friends over, I invite them to join me. I have not seen the same ones twice. In fact, I haven't seen any in several years.

At one time, Jehovah's Witnesses used to put colored thumb tacks in peopel's door frames, as a way to color coding, in order to indicate to future door knockers what kind of reception to expect. I dont' know if they still do that or not. If you check and see a certain color, let the rest of us know which color it is so we might color code them away.

3

I reverse the the position, I take out my bible that has has tabs to the scripture I want to discuss with them. Such as how rape is considered a crime against the father instead of the victim. The I try to go to the actual human sacrifice that is in the OT.

Some of the young mormons have tried pascal's wager, but you can see their the smiles leave and you show them its really not a binary wager.

Right now, I think I have been black listed from every religion in the area.

1

I found the most useful use of my graphic design degree yet by making a sign to put on our front door that reads "This is a religious free environment, violators will be righteously persecuted".

Using the word "Persecuted" I figured it would be amusing to go with a pun the religiously inclined would get.

It seems to have worked thus far. The Jehovah Witnesses even stopped shoving copies of the Watchtower under our front door tearing up our weather stripping. And throwing threats at us of how we will never make it to paradise. And this has been going on for nearly six years now.

I still have to take it down when my inlaws come by, my husbands family are catholic and would lose their collective shit if they knew he married a woman who came from a long line of heathens. My husband is still a believer but has become even more anti religious than I am over the years so it cracks us both up.

You shoudl mass produce that design and sell them.

1

My great grandmother used to answer and tell them "We've been expecting you. Will you take a goats head for payment? The dark lady of the house is out but she shall return".
That always makes me laugh when I think of it. Its so much better coming from an elderly woman.

As Jehovah's Witnesses believe in demons (or at least my oldest brothers ex-wife did), that would freak them out However, it may also help perpetuate their false beliefs.

1

I was Mormon most of my life. I know the most effective cause of cognitive dissonance for Mormon missionaries are people they love who come out as LGBTQ and kind ex Mormons.

I invite them in, get them a drink, offer them food. I am very clear about who and what I am and what is used to believe. I tell them I’m aware they have a certain quota to fill with nonmormons and offer my home as refuge. They are welcome to rest, watch movies, play board games, learn to cook, come for dinner, hug my dog. My door is always open for them as it is for any other child in need of help and safety. Because they’re just teenagers far from home doing the thing they’ve been taught their entire life they have to do to be a good kid.

I inform them of my rules for discussing religion- that I won’t bring it up, I’ll leave it to them to make that decision. But if they do we operate on logic and reason and facts- not feelings and testimony. I also show them my collection of lds doctrinal books and inform them I’ve read every one. I’ve only had one missionary try to discuss and about 20 minutes in conceeded that I likely knew more than he did and he’d rather play a board game than continue the conversation.... then I kicked his ass at settlers of catan.

I’ve cycled through multiple sets of missionaries here because my family keeps sending them. They typically come back and take me up on my offer of safe space in one way or another. I fiend them on Facebook and offer to be a resource if they ever need it after going home. So far I’ve had one missionary have a crisis of faith and reach out for support after going home.

But I’m not nearly as patient with adult jws.

Amber Level 4 May 15, 2018

As I am also an ex-Mormon (boen into it, didnt' choose it), I do have soem compassion for the missionaries, but I have spent enough of my life listening to religion, and I see that tiem as mostly wasted. Life is short and I prefer not to use up more of my lifetime listening to more of it.

I am nto rude, I usually just tell any door knockers tha I have no interest whatsoever in organized religion and then close the door.

1

I had a friend that pretty much did this. THey would still stay until he just shut the door in their faces

btroje Level 9 May 2, 2018
5

We had an old man called Jim who used to come to our house probably twice a month, my Dad invited him in and he'd have a cup of tea and tell a couple of jokes and chat about some general topical theme, then he would find a passage in his bible and try to apply it and we'd maybe disagree or maybe politely listen, but we understood that he felt it was his purpose to teach us but otherwise he was just a nice old chap who came for a chat and a cuppa. He knew we didn't believe and didn't push it, and we knew what he believed was bollocks but we didn't push that either.
I think the best thing to do is realise most people are just trying to do good in their own way and be respectful, if they're a dick then you don't have to talk to them again do you?

0

All you need to be polite and say "oh sorry, I was excommunicated last year". Not only will they go away, your house will be blacklisted as they can't be seen with such heathens!

0

All you need to be polite and say "oh sorry, I was excommunicated last year". Not only will they go away, your house will be blacklisted as they can't be seen with such heathens!

0

All you need to be polite and say "oh sorry, I was excommunicated last year". Not only will they go away, your house will be blacklisted as they can't be seen with such heathens!

0

I tell them I'm an atheist. When they ask why? I say that no gods were ever real.
That's usually enough to do it.

KKGator Level 9 May 2, 2018
1

Back in the day, I was over a friend's when 2 JWs knocked on the door. He answered, and they introduced themselves. He invited them to tell him their whole spiel. I gave him this "wtf are you doing?" look, and he gave me the "don't worry, this will be good" look.
At the end, they offered him a watchtower, for a small donation. He gave them like a buck, and took it. At which point, he asked them "this is mine? I can keep this?" And they replied of course. He proceeded to reach into his pocket, pull out a bic lighter, and burn it in front of them.
They never came back. Lol

msar0414 Level 6 May 2, 2018
2

depends a bit on your objective. do you want them to stay away, do you want to make unbelievers of them, do you want to waste their time so they aren't pestering someone else?

hankster Level 9 May 2, 2018
3

My most successful strategy involved answering the door shirtless brushing my teeth. There was about six inches of snow on the ground and I just stood there blocking the door brushing my teeth until the guy just left after a minute or two. He never came back.

geist171 Level 6 May 2, 2018
1

Keep your front door locked. If you do not know who it is, do not open the door. If it's my mother, do not open the door. I keep a baseball bat right where the hinges are.

0

LOL. That might work, but I wouldn't do it to the letter carrier.

Trod Level 5 May 2, 2018
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