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BEING ACCEPTABLE! How hard do you try?

Brunnion 7 May 3
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31 comments

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3

My kids swing between two houses and they have to put up with different rules for different people, etc. My kids try to be 'acceptable', but it's an impossible request.

That's a v realistic view AS. I think that as parents, the best we can do for our kids when they are mature enough, is to encourage them to have confidence in what they believe is right for them. It's a long process of discovery. So many people shirk that responsibility and simply adopt a pre-made set of rules belonging to someone else ........ or those of an institution like the church or the military.

11

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
George Bernard Shaw

11

I don't try at all. I am who I am. Love me or not. It's not my business what you think of me.

9

I've given up almost entirely.

It seems like you have found people here that accept you for who you are. You have already shown your amazing qualities by showing up and participating

9

Knowingly or unknowingly?

@ki-bee you'll be surprised how oblivious some people can be about themselves (am I one?... I usually let everyone be the judge of that... Sometimes I "win" sometimes I don't...life goes on)

9

As a woman, I think our gender was raised that way back in the 50's, then add in the effect of Christianity. UGH! It took me a lot of years to accept who I am and be comfortable in my own skin. I don't try anymore because I'm fine with who and what I am

9

While I love Leunig's work. I think that being acceptable is such a relative term. I'm minded of the old saying 'one person's trash is another person's treasure'.

RonB Level 5 May 3, 2018

Yes, of course, there's no written social standard of acceptability......... but if a person behaves in a way that's different from 'the norm' then society is quick to apply pressure to ensure conformity. While members of this forum may pride themselves on not caring about being acceptable, it is a very painful issue for some......... especially those with obvious disabilities who're unable to fit social norms whether they want to or not.

8

I think it's about whether you define yourself through external sources or not. IMHO, if you do, there is something missing inside you. Once you become whole inside yourself, all of that concern over others disappears.

Now, about the cartoon, some of the things people do to be acceptable or attractive are good things. For instance, I walk my dogs and sometimes jog, not because I'm looking to be attractive to someone, but because it benefits me. It makes my organs healthier, and mentally it's a calming experience for me. It helps with my PTSD.

But I couldn't care less (yes, that's how you say that) about the perception of others. It's my time on this earth, so if you don't like it, get out of my way and don't waste my precious time.

On the flip side, I don't actively try to offend people. At work, I watch my language, etc. But when they ask me what I'm doing for Easter, I don't hesitate to tell them that I don't celebrate that holiday. If they're offended, that's their problem.

Nicely said. =]

8

I try to be kind, but discovered as a child that no matter how hard you try, someone is going to be pissy about it. So now, I still try to be kind, but the only approval I seek is from myself.

I agree wholeheartedly

8

I generally stick to the laws of the land: can't play fairer than that.

8

I don't waste any time with it. There will always be nay sayers who will talk behind your back which is where they belong. Be yourself because everyone else is taken and remind them to take a long deep look into the mirror before they want to make any remarks.

8

Not something I'm too concerned with.

8

I don't have to try. I'm so freaking lovable! ?

Yep, we're all blown away by you S48 😀

@Abbelyne I'm sure you are. ?

7

All bullshit.

For some!

7

I will only be acceptable to those that accept me for who I am. I have always been my own person and am not afraid to be shunned by others-in fact I almost wear it as a badge at this date

7

I truly do not care whether I'm "accepted" or not. I made my peace with being completely unacceptable a long time ago.
Besides, most of the people who have found me unacceptable were/are, in fact, utter assholes.
Who wants acceptance from them?

@ScienceBiker Yeah, but you're the "right" kind of asshole. 😉

7

I am who I am . Like me or not, I'm at an age I don't give a sht.

7

I searched my backpack thoroughly and found zero fucks with which to give. 🙂

I searched my backpack as well, then my garage, the my storage unit. None anywhere. Finally found some on eBay, surprisingly affordable but the shipping cost was a bit high.

7

Never fitted in and never will stopped caring what others thought years ago , I don't try to be offensive so meh

7

To be acceptable to me? As hard as I need to. I live with me. I can't get away from me. If I'm not pleased with me I need to try harder to fix why. Everyone else can take a flying leap. I don't want to rock the boat. I don't care for confrontation but don't go out of my way to avoid it either. If I manage to screw something up, and I've had my fair share of doing just that, I do what I can to fix it. That's all any reasonable person can ask of me. I'm not looking for specific approval or disapproval from anyone else. But I cannot escape me.

AmyLF Level 7 May 3, 2018
7

I don't try to be acceptable, but I do try to blend in while I do my own thing, so I won't be bothered.
This works well in Thailand, where people mind their own business and if I act weird, they chalk it up to my being a foreigner..

Well shit, that wouldn't work for me here... though I suppose I could be considered that crazy west coaster. The south seems to have its own culture apart from the rest of the states anyway. LOL!

7

Not at all really. I'm a human being. That's enough for any practicing human being

7

Not in the slightest.

6

I don't try. I am already acceptable to the people who matter to me!

Yeeaaaay.....

6

Sadly not hard enough. I tend to polarise opinion.

But you matter as much as everyone else 😉

You might also have valid reason .. So unless you think you are being really cruel I wouldn't be so hard on you.

"It is better to stand alone than be wrong with the masses".

What kind of opinions do you polarise F?

@Abbelyne people either really like me or they can't stand me. No grey areas lol

@Flettie Oh really! Well hang around and we can all tell you which group we're in (chuckle)

5

I love Leunig's work. I think it's supposed to be a joke about society, rather than a personal instruction. He's countering the pressure to conform. I don't try very hard.

Yes, I work with autistic people and many take this joke literally. With high functioning autism there is a deficit of communication and social skills, so people with this condition often get bullied. They sometimes try very hard to be accepted, so I point to this cartoon and remind them that trying too hard can have negative results.

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