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So, just about everyone of us (including myself) have responded in the affirmative that sexual compatibility is important to us to some degree or another. But, I've put my noodle to this question and have wondered, "are we actually answering a question that has no precision or clearly defined terms as to what "compatibility" might be?" Is it simply a ploy to get people to discuss issues like frequency, activities indulged in/not indulged in, exclusivity/inclusivity, fantasy expression, where do we have sex (bedroom, kitchen, shower, elevators/semi public areas, etc)? Is it just a question to draw out from us whether or not we might/might not be interested in sex at all? Is this me just falling into the ENFP trap of making things too damn complicated? What's your take?

Liberal50 5 May 13
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15 comments

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0

You have to look at each other and want to be together. It's sad I ended a 6 month relatiotionship with someone not because of sexual incompatibility but because of other life issues. We each wanted different things in life and he couldn't compromise.

0

I would rather meet someone who places love above sex.

0

To me, sexual compatibility means the man LISTENS and RESPONDS appropriately when I ask what I want during sex. So few men listen.

1

Maybe this site is operated by the theocratic arm of the government and such detailed questions are a means of identifying those in need of reeducation or worse concerning their sexual prevoizsions. Hell, maybe you are compiling said information as I write....yikes.
But I'm only on my first cup of coffee.....

Paranoid a little?? Too many conspiracy stories...stop reading them.

2

Need chemistry. Desire for intimacy not just sex.

1

I'd be grateful if you kept your noodle to yourself.

@Liberal50 Sorry. Not smiling.

0

There are some definite indicators, I'm really pretty comfortable with being the tradition male stereotype. I was fortunate to have many gay friends in my formative years who get a clearer picture that the dominance/submission dynamic is not inextricably linked to gender as Christians tend to assume.
Two tops fight to the death and two bottoms die of boredom. One gay and one straight is a clear and obvious mismatch. I like girly girls and they tend to like me.

0

I would assume (dangerous, I know) that each person has their own sexual compatibility requirements set from previous experiences. I'm looking for the experience that I haven't yet had.

3

It's just you ?.

1

It's a poorly defined question. Sexual compatability is important in a sexual partner, and unimportant in other relationships.

2

I think it's important. I appear to be a normal cis hetero woman, but I'm actually an androgyne partial transmale who is also demisexual. That means zero sexual attraction for anyone with whom I've not been in close association for OVER a year.

I have a strong libido, but it's not toward a person or gender, and even talking about sexual details can make me feel revolted.

However, once I've been with the person long enough, the problem is the opposite; I love gender-switching, fantasy play, costumes, mild S&M, etc., which would alarm most cis hetero men.
But I'd only do that with someone with whom I've totally bonded..very slowly, who has already shown that he loves me for who I am, FIRST.

Horn dogs looking for a quick sex partner would need to move along.

That's a terrifying description of you. I'm not leaving the house today.
😉

@bigpawbullets Yeah, quick one-night stands are better for most men, using the favorite of cis hetero men..the missionary position (yawn) for two whole minutes.
Yeah, not for me.

@bigpawbullets, @Liberal50 NO. Anyone who started taking about sex to me would get blocked, I avoid men who see me as a lay. If they aren't interested in me as a person then I have zero interest in getting to know them.

Wow! Thats a lot of categories! Don't you find it rather restrictive labelling everything? I find it to reason a particular behaviour is assigned to a particular gender - women have been doing supposedly 'male' things forever. The only reason men haven't is cultural/societal.

0

Yean ENFP trap there.

4

yes you are making it too complicated

3

It's you. ☺

@Liberal50 lol ?

2

Maybe all of the above?

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