What do people think of the idea of being childfree?
What are your opinions on anti natalism. There was a debate between Sam Harris and David Benatar ( he claims it's wrong to have children ). You can find the debate on YouTube. Any thoughts?
I am pro-choice. I believe if you choose to have a child or children, people should not judge for that choice. If you choose to NOT have any children, or not have a child at that particular time in your life, same thing. This maxim is easily applied to pretty much any child- or non-child-resulting situation.
I like being child-free, it was a choice and the right one for me.
Given that overpopulation is the most significant problem facing our world, I think people who choose to have children are being selfish when there are lots of unwanted children who need to be taken care of.
The real problem are people who don't think about it at all and just keep popping out babies that they are unable to pay for or raise with any skill.
I was once married and have a daughter, a son, 4 grands and 4 great-grands. I have a good family, we all get along and love each other and I am proud of my family. I will say without hesitation, knowing myself as I do now, that if I could do it over again, I would not marry and I would not have children. There I said it and I'm glad. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
I've seen charts and read gender studies showing that people on the extreme ends of the gender characteristics sliding scale-i.e. the most "femme" women and "macho" men, are the most successful in long-term relationships and producing progeny, since they have the most hard-wired traits needed for courting and raising young.
But statistically, they also have the lowest average IQs.
As the gender marker slides toward the center, indicating an increasing mixture of gender traits, the IQs also rise, so that the ones in the middle have the highest average IQs, but also their mixed traits make them less inclined to courting and reproducing.
Instead, they usually are often too busy inventing things, directing movies, writing music and books, being successful actors, etc. These people are often beautiful and talented, but can't seem to maintain successful long-term relationships, since they lack the necessary instincts.
For instance, females typically rule cis hetero relationships, and when men don't listen to them, the marriages don't last. But high IQ men with independent female traits typically don't want to listen to their mates, so the relationships break up.
"John Gottman, a well known marriage researcher, and his colleagues followed 130 newlywed couples for six years to find what marriages succeeded and why. Turns out, happy, stable marriages had one thing in common: The husband was willing to accept his wife's influence.
In contrast, when husbands responded to their wives' complaints by stonewalling or belittling them, the marriage was almost sure to fail: More than four-fifths of those relationships — 81 percent — fell apart."
Gottman, John M., and Nan Silver. (1999). “Principle 4: Let Your Partner Influence You,” in The Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work (Chapter Six, 100-127).
People should do whatever they want.
That said, not everyone who can be a parent, SHOULD be a parent.
There is no way in hell I would have ever listened to a word anyone else
had to say about what I "should" do as far as children went.
Luckily, I'm passed that age, and didn't have any of my own.
I collect other people's kids though. I'm "Aunt" to more kids than Carter's has pills.
I don't have put braces on any of them, or put any of them through college.
It's a win/win.
I think it’s a damn fascinating philosophy. I listened to that talk with Sam Harris. I personally have not had children for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that I feel I could never justify bringing more consciousness into this world to suffer through life.
The Norwegian philosopher Peter Zapffe had the same outlook, asserting humanity had a moral duty to aim for self extinction.
If it were possible to ask a future consciousness, yet unborn, if they would like to be born or not, and if it were possible to see this person's future life, and to see what kind of life it would be (it may be a happy life or tragic) this future consciousness may decline and say - "no thank you, I don't wish to be born if I'm going up have a miserable life trapped in poverty or plagued with health issues".
This scenario is impossible, so all decisions are made by the person choosing to have the child. There is no consent. Instead all choices are defined by their wants. Their gratification.
I think it is incredibly selfish to choose to bring a child into the world. It can't be anything else but selfish since the child has no say.
I realise my opinion will be unpopular.
My son is great by getting pregnant was an unpleasant surprise. I also think the fact that I did not really want to have children is the main reason I devoted myself to raising him to be a good person. If I was going to do it, I for damn sure was going to do it well.
Many people have/want multiple children shouldn't be allowed to have a plant let alone a little person.
Telling people if they can't have babies isn't going to work. I have children and I'm glad I have them. We don't know much about this guys personal life and I gotta wonder where his perspective stems from. All I have gathered so far on this is that his idea is pain is bad and pleasure is good, it's good to not have pain and it isn't bad to not have pleasure. I believe that is incorrect. It is bad to not have pleasure. He is basically saying it isn't worth it to be born because of all the hell involved with life and sometimes true we do feel that way. Feelings change. Live. There is literally nothing else to do.