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Could you love a child conceived out of rape?

This is a question I’ve been shy to ask for a while now because the topic is so uncomfortable, but I was recently asked by someone could I love my child from a situation as traumatic as that. This was a question that had me thinking for a few hours, actually. The situation would be horrible and traumatic, but at the same time, she/he would still be my child and apart of me so I guess I’d try to raise it with as much of care that I could and bring him/her up to be the woman/man they needed to be. Then at the same time I would think having a child around conceived out such a traumatic situation would probably be difficult cause the child would be a reminder of the whole ordeal that I’d have to relive over and over again so I could probably understand why some women victims of such thing could reject their child. What do any of you think. I hope I haven’t made anyone feel uncomfortable in any way. Leave your thoughts and answers below.

By EmeraldJewel7
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51 comments

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0

No absolutely not. In that case ,at least for me ,abortion is the only way. With the way these laws are against abortion it's highly likely that my rapist would get partial custody of the kid.

Kojaksmom Level 8 June 23, 2018
0

Hard to imagine that situation without experiencing it. In many cases, a mother’s love knows no bounds. Certainly, my love for my child is not in any way diminished by the abuse of his father. But it’s hard to imagine a child created out of an act of intense trauma and violation.

A2Jennifer Level 8 June 23, 2018
5

I could not even carry one to term.

0

Yes.

3

I'd abort the moment I found out I was preggers.

AzVixen52 Level 7 June 23, 2018
10

I'd abort it. It's not a baby, it's not even a foetus. It's biological garbage left by other biological garbage.

2

Not quite the same as I am a guy.
My foster son is one such child,
and his mother does/did love him- most of the time. Well some of the time.
I think when they are at odds other feelings come through and a lot of resentment.
He lived with me a long time and was estranged from his mother and siblings,
he is 22 now and they are in semi regular contact.
Were I a woman faced with this problem, I would not keep it. Plain and simple.
But a child once born is a child and not responsible.

Rugglesby Level 8 June 23, 2018
2

I guess this assumes I'm a woman, but... probably not. Probably gonna abort that thing.

4

Yes. I couldn't blame the actions of another on an innocent child.

0

That's a tough question. If you knew the rapist and kept the baby, would you constantly be comparing the child to it's father? Would you love it less if he/she resembled the father?

I can easily understand aborting it, but I think there's a strong epigenetic influence on child behaviour.

Kohelath Level 6 June 23, 2018

In many states a father can demand visitation rights.

Ain't hat some shit?

Edit to add link -

[cnn.com]

@BufftonBeotch there are some pretty fubar aspects of life for Americans. I don't know how you tolerate some things.

@Kohelath And in the southern US we have these giant cockroaches called Palmetto Bugs. They are about 3 inches long and they FLY.
But the worst thing is they don't fly well.

So there is this clackityCLAK dying helicopter noise as this spiny leg thing terror lands on your shirt.

GetitoffMe Dance.

7

I have believed for a long time that the decision to abort, in any instance, should be that of the woman. And that no-one has a right to judge her for it.

@Omen6Actual the time to consider if you want a child is during sex. Wear a condom

@MsDemeanour Or a diaphrm, or pill, or patch...

1

The rape had nothing to do with child, except sperm donation. Penalizing a child for its moment of conception is beyond criminal: it’s cruel and smile minded.

Sweetsari Level 4 June 23, 2018

So you're against terminating rape pregnancies?

1

The child didn't ask to be born, they are innocent, and they are part of you, nurtured in your womb, borne of your suffering, emerging from your body as you are racked by childbirth pains, fed at your breast and raised by you in your home. You cannot hate half your DNA more than you can hate the left side of your body. This is the person who will visit you in the nursing home on the day you lie dying, so why hate them?

Laurely4u Level 4 June 23, 2018
2

Everyone is different. The children born to the Nazi lebensborn programme in Norway were hated by the Norwegians. Humans beings don't always behave nicely.

If this woman was raped, why did she not get an abortion? I hate to think about this innocent child suffering.

2

No, I wouldn't love a child conceived through a rape and would terminate the pregnancy immediately.

PhoebeCat Level 7 June 23, 2018
4

I have never been in that kind of situation.
This innocent baby is not it's fault, it did not ask to be here. I know someone that was in that situation.
I was with her throughout her pregnancy. She had chosen to give her little girl up for adoption.
Once she held her she was in love. She kept her, she could not bring herself to hate her baby.
Kimberly is 21 and in college.

Wildgreens Level 7 June 23, 2018
4

No woman should ever be made to carry such a thing to term....and no woman should ever be guilted for not carrying it to term and "loving" it.

This posts reeks of shaming women for choosing to abort lumps of cells that result from a traumatic event.

1

Of course. My oldest daughter got slipped a micky and had sex at 16. That grandson turned out to be a really cool son.

1

Never been there so I haven't got much to say, except that if you can love a kitten, puppy, foal, etc. you should be able to love any baby. As far as s/he being a constant reminder of the rape - tough to know how anyone would deal with that. If you're the mother, I guess you would have to get around to the mindset that it's yours and you're lucky to have it despite the circumstances of its conception. Might be easier said than done. I would add that I'm only talking about a situation where it's too late for the morning after pill or an abortion. That decision is totally up to the woman and if it was up to me, I'd go with the pill.

1

Why would anyone ever punish a child by not showing them love? It is far from the kid's fault and to hold a ridiculous idea that they caused some harm. In my mind would be unsatisfactory to blame a kid for a crime committed by a (with lack of a better word) lunatic.

azzow2 Level 9 June 23, 2018

Why would I love something forced on me through an act of violence? Love doesn't just happen because of a genetic relationship.

@PhoebeCat Would never think that you should. Just do not think the child was to blame or at fault.

@azzow2
Ending an unwanted pregnancy affects no but the pregnant woman.

3

It's a child.
Yes.

I equally have no problem understanding how abortion would clearly be an option.

I can’t know what a woman under these horrid circumstances could feel but what thoughts I have are inarticulate

0

The child is an innocent party in the situation. They didn't ask to be a product of rape. If you can't separate the action from the child either a) have an abortion or b) give the child up for adoption.

GwenC Level 7 June 23, 2018
1

Abortion is the most ethical option.

2

The child cannot be blamed for the circumstances that brought it. The question is more a measure of rest of us than it is of the child.

Tompain1 Level 7 June 23, 2018
0

It would seem that in cases of rape, if the person elects to go ahead with the pregnancy, adoption would be the best option. Not a day would go by that your own child wouldn't be a reminder of what some monster did to you. I'm sure it would be very difficult to get past that, and the child does not deserve to have that weight placed upon their shoulders.

webbew1 Level 7 June 23, 2018
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