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Does age matter to you when it comes to love or dating?

Follow up questions: Does age play a part in what you look for in a partner? Also do you feel a wider age gap poses issues?

BohoHeathen 8 July 3
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72 comments

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0

I think it depends on the people.

I dated a guy 6 yrs younger than who brought up our age difference every single time we saw each other. So it clearly bothered him.

I have dated men with a 10 year difference and age was not a factor.

I think compatibility plays more of a factor than age.

My ex is now 37 and from another country. I'm 72 and feel that age had very little to do with our differences and why we are not together today. One exception was our concept of money, but that can happen to a couple who are the same age.

8

Every factor can have consequences, negative or positive, but human relationships are too potentially complex to make general rules. One negative might be outweighed by two positives. I would rather assess a situation by its own unique qualities.

skado Level 9 July 3, 2018

Ditto!

7

I was married to a woman who was 8 years older than me and I’ve dated women who were 17 years younger than me and it never mattered. What did matter was compatibility, humor, shared interests.
I just don't think in terms of numbers normally.

7

Age has never been an issue for me. Connection matters much more. My husband is 14+ years older than I am. We have been together for over 18 years.

6

I don’t think it really matters if two people are genuinely attracted to each other, but I have to say that there is something so very comforting about someone your own age relating to you on many
Miscellaneous areas from childhood to young adulthood. (I.e. movie quotes, sayings, one hit wonder lyrics etc etc)

@Exterminis I feel this way talking to people only 5 years younger

6

Maturity matters and commonality some people never mature they stay at a young mentality and their life choices are reflected by that.

6

I have dated women 10 years younger than me, and women who were 22 years older than me. I'm only interested in how our personalities work together.

6

Depends on the person and what life experiences they have. Each generation brings different things to the relationship. My experience is that 15 years younger is about the limit for me. I haven't had a relationship with anyone more that about 5 years older than me...15 years older would probably mean they are dead...not into that at all.

Now you're just being picky. What with requiring a heartbeat and all. ?

@CeliaAnne agree...also depends what you want out of the relationship, since there are so many facets...oddly, the younger ones have not been problematic...the one 15 years my junior is currently my favorite

@CeliaAnne you are too funny! lol But then, you are also nearly 20 years my junior...😉

5

I don't like dating people more than 10 years older or more than 5 years younger.

4

My first husband was three years older than me. My second was eleven years younger than me. Guess who was more mature? Number two. He was also a much better parent as a stepdad than biological dad. We were much better suited to each other. The age difference was a consideration at first, but quickly became irrelevant. If an age gap was was much larger, that is definitely something to make me slow down, but I don't think it would stop me.

4

It does. I think 10 years on either side of my own age is fine, but anything more would be awkward for different reasons. Issues that would arise with younger than that are obvious. With older it begins to look like you're only with them for the life insurance... lol

4

Quick answer, no, it doesn't. We all have our preferences. While age represents the amount of time you have been alive, I feel you can have another age label in reference to your mindset. You just need to find someone with a mindset age similar to yours.

3

It is all about attraction and common interests. I gravitate toward younger men...but not more than 10 years. I'm not attracted to older men. I want someone who gets my references and has a similar sense of humor

3

Love doesn't care about age. Relationships perhaps but really I think it is most important to do what makes you feel good/happy.
Your happiness should be the top priority in nearly every decision you make

3

It can mean everything and it can mean nothing. I’m new to open marriage and I’ve been meeting men online. Most of the men even attracted to me are younger. Like MUCH younger. I’ve dated men that are 20 +years younger than me and felt it affected nothing. Our personalities and interests and chemistry were hitting all cylinders. I’ve dated some 40 yo that I had no interest in. Most of them are set in their ways. Slowing down. I’m not at all so that doesn’t interest me at all.
It’s all about connection and attraction and courage - and that can happen between anyone.

3

Funny you ask. Most of my friendships and relationships have been with younger men. I've always looked younger by 10 years. Things have changed. I have met a wonderful man here who is actually a couple years older than me and we are starting something special. Age is not a consideration.

3

Nope. I've dated older and younger.

3

It does matter some, but not a great deal.

3

No it doesn't, as long as it is legal ?

3

This is a recurring question. A person much younger than me would have to be the one pursuing since I would automatically assume she was too young for me. I tend to gravitate toward women around my age. That being said, I’ve noticed several 60+ women who I find myself attracted to.

2

i think it matters, but it depends how big of an age difference we are talking about. i think ten years is about as much as is ok.

2

I think it is a factor. I feel like when there is a large age gap, it can be hard to relate because the points of reference are different.

GwenC Level 7 July 3, 2018
2

Can they keep up? And do t hey make me laugh & want to dance?....age is irrelevant......

Not really , I am very fit for my age and that is a big determining factor , I really hit it off with a woman 25 years my JR once we really made each other laugh a lot , that is what I gage my ideal companion on sense of humor ! Making each other laugh is so fundamental !!!

2

Everyone is different. I've dated both older and younger women, with age gaps as high as ten years. I can't say that I cared so much about the numbers as how we connected.

Yes but it is very hard to connect when the person you are dating has no idea what you are talking about !!

@Riki64 Well.... People rarely understand what I'm talking about any way.... Lol

2

Yes it does, age and stage of life goes hand and hand.. I dated a guy 14 years younger than me, 5 beautiful years together. well.... i was 42 and he wanted to have kids "one day" ..LOL.

2

I would not consider dating anyone more than 10 years younger than me and would be careful about more than 5 years in either direction. Relationships are difficult enough without the parties being in different "places" with very different needs and experience (and quite possibly, maturity) levels.

I think the way many older men have women 20+ years their junior as arm candy is rather appalling, actually. And often, pathetic. A young woman can make you temporarily "feel" younger but as a low-energy introverted heady sort of person, I would have quite a bit of trouble keeping up with a very social, extroverted, bubbly, high-energy person my OWN age, much less younger.

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