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Dating after 50

Is it just me, or is dating after 50 a nightmare?

It seems like almost everyone is so religious, which narrows the pool significantly.

Then out of those who are left the majority fall into one of these categories: looking for a nurse/care giver,
looking for someone MUCH younger to recapture their youth or REPUBLICAN

Then of the 10 people in your region that are don't like 5 and the other 5 don't like you.

OYE! I think I just need a gay best friend to do things with and a new vibrator.

Crimson67 8 Jan 6

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362 comments (301 - 325)

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Not quite 50, but I think many cut out potential mates for odd reasons. I'll date republicans who are rational, can articulate their motivations and are respectful of others. Sadly many of my fellow liberals can't do those three things we should have learned before high school.

Personally I haven't found dating in my mid 40s to be bad. I'm a social guy, several of my female friends and acquaintances have single friends. I think it's essential to cultivate platonic relationships, I met my last two GFs through acquaintances.

One odd aspect of religious dating that seems to infect heretics and infidels is men have to be assertive and women need to be demure. I usually figure out if a woman is interested so this helps me, but I've known a lot of women who never make the first move or make it OBVIOUS a guy they like should ask them out.

LOL, btw I've been in OK, TX and UT for ten years, it's not like I'm surrounded by a atheist hotties 🙂

I haven't found dating Republicans to be particularly fulfilling. Either we completely avoid speaking about anything that matters, or I'm subjected to "libtard" jokes. Living in Arizona, it means I've pretty much given up.

@GinaMaria I only lived in AZ for 1 year and no dating. My parents live there so I visit frequently. Just anecdotal, but conservatives in AZ seem a little less civil than conservatives I've met in the South or Utah.

I'm not sure I could date a liberal who is consistently toxic to people she disagrees with politically so I definitely understand not wanting to date someone who uses "libtard" with any seriousness.


This is brand new to me. I'm 61, and having been married to the man I very recently divorced since I was 44, have not even attempted dating yet. I have plenty of gay friends, too. I do recommend a vibrator... even if you do eventually meet the partner of your dreams.

Deb57 Level 8 Mar 17, 2018

Hm...well...I am over fifty...and I am NOT looking for a mommy, a nurse, a caregiver or...a sugar mommy. I am for the most part self sufficient...except for SOME things I need help with...tying my shoelaces...buttoning my shirt...chewing bubblegum and walking at the same time. LOL. I am NOT religious...I am by NO MEANS...a republican...I don't know WHAT I am...liberal to a degree...I like women...My MOM was good to me...NOT looking for another, lol. Just a really NICE girl to hang with and grow together with. I can help you with the vibrator work if you'd like, you won't seem to be doing EVERYTHING alone. And I am a REALLY good friend...NOT gay but I LOVE shopping, for WHATEVER...and just hangin' with a cool chick...PLUS...I LOVE RED HAIR...OH YES. I am an Itallian girl said...OMG...I DO NOT KNOW WHAT SHE MEANT. lol I'd LOVE to hear back from you.


I was told that at my age I shouldn't think about, I can't answer. 🙂)

You are unique you can do what you like please don't stop on other accounts

@Rosh Thanks; the 🙂 should have told you I don't care about what people say.


Yes, dating after 50 is very difficult. I think you might be on to something. Find a male friend who is gay, who is easy to talk to and smart .... and make sure you have several working vibrators. Life is not fair. Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo.

SKH78 Level 8 Mar 10, 2018

And then, when you do find someone who seems perfect, they are either the same gender or in Kentucky. :-/


Even after a few years of being divorced my faith in believing there is some vibrantly beautiful woman to become in love with, is out there somewhere is firm. Am more OK than last year being alone but my friskies isn't going to let me be content in lonliness. Hugs and squeezes are more thsn an urge... I'd term them nutritious in an essential nature...

Kraig Level 3 Mar 6, 2018

Hope you find a woman you get along with. It is horrible for the men to be w/o a partner. Women would like a partner, but if they cant' find one, they just make sure they have a good circle of friends and a good vibrator.


Gave up on finding. someone near me am 57 and find that a lot of my peers aree now bigger asswipes than me and I've spent my lifetime pissing everyone off


No FWB for me. Nothing casual, either.


There are good people out there. I found some secular groups around town, and went to some meet ups, met some cool people, but I like for my wife to accompany me in social settings and she being Catholic doesn't always enjoy going to atheist meetings and such.
All that to say, I wish I had found some of those groups when I was single. It would have helped me to meet like minded people.


It's tough but I still try????


Since I am a 70 year old man. Dose that mean with all the cougars on this site I will have to settle for an 80 year old lady looking for a boy toy?




I think it's pretty sad that we've reached a point where so many people are so closed minded that they would let politics be a prohibiting factor in an otherwise perfectly viable partnership.
In a relationship where both people think the same way, one of you is unnecessary.

@Crimson67 the same could be said for those who ignored all of Clinton's misdeeds. The fact is that neither you, nor I nor anyone truly know anything even remotely related to the truth about Trump or Clinton. What we think we know is nothing more than what we've been spoon fed by the media and social media and choose to believe. The main difference between you and I is I know they're all full of shit. My last g/f was very liberal, but she wasn't a brain dead liberal. We managed to have rational conversations that led us to realize we had more in common than not, even though Im not a liberal. At some point, you might realize that this divisiveness is exactly what the powers behind the curtain want. And you're basing decisions on propoganda, not knowledge. Regardless of your party.

@Crimson67 I didn't mean to imply you did, (although I can see after re-reading my response that kind if did, sorry about that) I was just making a point. I didn't vote for either one myself. Im not a single issue voter, not for presidents or partners.

@Taijiguy There is a lot of difference in a Presidential blow job and a Presidential buffoon and moron.

@Sticks48 you really think I was referring to Bill? Oh you poor naive thing you.

I spent 11 years married to someone on the opposite political pole to me and yeah, living with someone day to day who has an utterly different view than you can really get old. I want peace of mind in my house. I don't want to cook dinner while being forced to listen to conservative talk shows telling lies at top volume while the person I TRY to love and respect sits there cackling in hateful glee. I guess part of the problem of dating after 50 is most of your mistakes have been made and you are determined not to make some of them again. So for the "oh you're so closed minded, try it you might like it" crowd - I did try it, I didn't like it, and I'd prefer being alone to living with Fox News on my TV polluting my life and my mind. And as an added detriment - sex with people full of fear and hate isn't anything to brag about either. Bad vibes all around. I'm not seeking an emotional/intellectual twin but, in psychic self-defense I have to draw the line at certain types of insanity/lifestyles/mindsets, and frankly, that's how I view conservatism these days - pure poison to myself and other living things.


Try dating over 70.


It is a nightmare


Not just women....scary sites....what are you meant to do....don't know anymore....


I'm not Gay, but where does one sign up to be your friend?


Damn, I hate hearing that...
My wife and I just seperated on very peaceful terms and I havent even asked anyone out on a date yet.


Hmm... ok, let’s say you are one of those ten in my region. Would I like you?


Re reading the comments because I was bored, I realized that since the 70's I had only "hunted" in only one venue... Dance Floor Clubs, Bars with too loud music to talk. I refused seeking in work venues. Too close for comfort. Or being fixed. I liked the hunt. All this is New to me. I am going dancing tonight. Because that is what I do... what I know. Still works for me. I am were there is a 50 and over crowd of dancers large enough and that haven't see me for over 8 years at least so to the new in the city I am fresh meat until they try to introduce me to their friends and then come the I know you... To everyone, don't give up. Re-invent yourself or change your venue or expand your area of search but don't give up. And do not lower your standards. Your standards should move and slide lateral with your age.

The part of your comment that is worth all its electronic bits in gold is “don’t lower your standards”. Never! If you give in to a moment of weakness just because nothing worthwhile has come your way lately, you will end up with a colossal waste of time (and at 50+ we don’t have much of it to waste). The best part of being of this age is to find the advantages that a good book and a good glass of wine have when compared to the company of some people.

@Rodatheist Yep my biggest fear when I was in my 20's. What are we going to do for tail in our 40's? First reaction and answer was... prostitution. How ignorant and naive we were at that age! Prostitution never been an answer for me. And I got more tail on my 40's than in any other age in my life and that included high school and college. But my standards were never lowered. I may end up hunting in a nursing home but I will have a blast doing it like always because it was and always been the hunt. The ladies will always notice your standards and to quote a phrase from Seinfeld's Elaine Bettis.... "they will know if your are sponge worthy or not".


lol I hear ya. Most are so set in their ways, there isn't even a glimmer of hope for them to maybe consider anything outside their comfort zone. Granted, we all our ways of doing things but who doesn't like a bit of adventure~~ It's like you hit a certain age and society thinks you need to change kind of clothes you like, the music you are into, dam near everything.

Well, yes, older people (they) are set in their ways, but so are we, the 50+ that are looking. And yes, you can “re-invent” yourself, but how long will that last. We have to be ourselves at some point; otherwise it is unfair to others, and most importantly, to ourselves. The truth is that there are thousands of us 50+ and to say that the list in the end boils down to ten, is rhetorically funny but it only means we should continue looking. And in the meantime, stock up on good books and good wine.


just get a vibrator and a dog but yes you are quite correct


Wow! Its hard for me to comprehend this. You are some beautiful ladies.


Tough post to respond to objectively... experiences vary soooo much, as do our ages.
I started dating again after divorce at age 49... (1970) was ok for few years, unfortunately... seemed “most” women wanted “security” (marriage) in short term. (shit, 47 years ago)
Honestly, to me (and I’m pleased) women have advanced “50/60 years in the last 10 years”... seriously, it’s great... unfortunately, men have advanced “ “6 to 12” months in the same time frame... without the structure of marriage or a “solid long term relationship”, men flounder.
Sorry men, it’s true (majority). Think about it... immaturity... PlayStation, gaming... add insecurity... damn, we’re no longer the prize... but we still think we are.
Now, some women may not have advanced
at the same rate... still look for and find men that think they are the “big prize”.
You’re absolutely correct the “pool” is limited for “compatible mates”... not saying we should settle for less, but... we’ve been alarmed by extremism’s, maybe setting up barriers... ?
“... then of the 10 people in your region that are left... “ small pool, barriers.
For the first time in my life I live in a small suburban town of a small city (Tucson)... limits.
I don’t know how to finish... cept, not looking for nurse w a purse... and I don’t think “most men” on this site (and others) aren’t either...
I think today most women can be and should be very direct when meeting (interviewing) men on a first or second date about intentions, wants, needs, wishes...
My problem is I judge people by my own standards...

Tomas Level 7 Jan 22, 2018

@tomas, Are you really 96? You seriously don't look like you could be!

@BlueWave ...must have had a cocktail while writing... currently 75, most people think I’m 64/65, good genes

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