I honestly haven’t found it as difficult as you may have. I do find that if I lay things out including who I am, what I’m about like my politics or beliefs which I won’t compromise on and yet respect others opinions, thoughts..... it helps . Also I try to be honest the I’m 66 years your and I’m an active sexual creature ( straight ) and enjoy intimacy and giving a woman oral pleasure.... this is who I am too

I don't think I've "dated" since I was in my 30s. My relationships seem to spring out of weird synchronistic circumstances. My last two long term (17 years and 7 years) relationships occurred from young men (17 & 19 years younger) pursuing me. I am NOT a cougar. They pursued me.

I'm 54 and going through a divorce. I certainly don't want a 'nurse with a purse' or anyone churchy, and I want nothing to do with Republicans. One day, I think l'll be ok enough to jump back into the dating world. I'll probably be attracted to a woman who wants nothing to do with me or vice versa.

And I thought it was all about NM!!! Hah! It’s the same everywhere!

Never say die!

Good Luck ?

Maybe it's because I'm polyamorous, but I haven't really found it to be so difficult. I'm very "up front" about my beliefs, and that's a great jerk filter. I found it easier to find new partners before OKCupid got redesigned to be useless, but still - there are always new people.

Dating is a nightmare at ANY age, lately. Our culture (or, lack of it) has distanced us from ourselves and each other. Our expectations for friendships and relationships are impossibly high, while opportunities for meeting people the old fashioned way are all but disappearing.

One nice thing about being over 45 is a reduction of that youthful, intense yearning to accommodate physical desire.

I'd get that vibrator soon - spring is gonna cause a rise in our hormone levels...

It has been a nightmare... When my partner of many years passed away, I thought I would like to be alone, but just not my nature... So, on the advice of a friend, I decided to try a couple dating sites.... It is my belief that there aren't many men who would fit the bill that most women require for even dating... I guess I am an oddball....don't like sports, nascar, zombies, wine tasting tours or cigars...I do not have an athletic toned body or have a desire/ability to hike off into the wilderness for countless miles anymore....Most are looking for men with big salaries who like to jet set all over the Carribbean....After a while, am left feeling like a leper with nothing to offer... Having a big paycheck is cool, but not owing a dime to anyone & owning everything you have outright doesn't count for much...If you make $80K a year, but it takes you $70 K to pay all the payments, who is better off ? I have come to the conclusion that I am gonna live out my years alone, better to be alone than in a bad relationship...

LOL, yup.

It's been something of an eye-opener, joining the dating sites and finding myself in the middle of a crowd of "blessed" folks. I was raised fundamentalist, and the blatant hypocrisy was a huge factor in my questioning and eventual rejection of faith. When I see some of the stuff posted in "singles" forums by the supposedly god-fearing, it makes me wanna reach through the screen and slap somebody.

As far as youth goes, I admit I'm drawn to it on some superficial levels. But if I can get past the alure of all things smooth and firm, I know I'm more appreciative of more substantive qualities like experience and self-awareness, the kinds of things that only come with maturity.

Dating had always been a nightmare at any age..it's just turning 50s that you realize all the pointless BS you dealt with when younger no longer applies..

Oh man I absolutely love that I will be 50 and single in 3 days. I was married for 26 years. Dating is awesome. It's all about your headspace and what you want or expect to.get out of it. Im not looking to replace my X. I'm taking my time and dating. Truly dating. I never did it before. I went from one relationship to the other. I eventually want to find a great person for me. Someone who has things in common with me. I've dated from 25 yrs old and up I don't care, different nationalities too. It's been great. You only live once might as well have fun. Short, tall, thin, heavy. Once you get rid if the box you put people in your world opens up. The only thing I require is they have to be smart, nice, cute to me, and not much older than I. I've even had a few good relationship come out of dating but no one perfect for me yet. I got lots of time. Oh and good music taste helps too. No country unless old country.

I don't fit that humorous analysis @ 65 I like all liberal Atheists if only one would choose me LOVE WILL BE VIVACIOUS for 50 more years

I think you can date to seek a lifelong companion or you can date just to have fun. If your focus is on having fun, you don't have to worry so much about what they're like. If you're looking for a lifelong companion, there's a lot of pressure on finding someone who's a good fit. In the course of dating to have fun, there's always the chance that you might stumble across someone who you could get serious with.

Either way, a good vibrator always comes in handy.

Age is not the issue
In my opinion
When you are with somebody, age is the least important criteria. Of course Phyaics are important but when the two way of thinking don't match, when one or both sides are so egoist, ignorant or ....in general when one lacks ethics, age and all other physial stuff worth nothing

Over 60 is no picnic either. Not sure I want to live with someone but I miss having someone special. Biggest issue so far? The last THREE men who showed interest had EXTENSIVE physical ailments. One was really sweet and we clicked instantly but im pretty healthy for someone who is going to be 65 next month. Is it too much to ask not to want to be someone's nurse? Been there, survived that...really don't want to do it again.
Not ready to give up yet...but this is harder than I thought it would be.

"Is it just me, or is dating after 50 a nightmare?"

It's not just you.

I agree. I can't even get a date. I'm a 70 yo stuck in a 50 yo body. Much of what you said i find to be true. Being an athiest puts in you in a 1% group and it goes downhill from there. I'm extremely fit. Hardly anyone above 50 even has a pulse, and then i actually read nonfiction books, go to museums, classical concerts, and no lie, the ballet. And it seems all the women have a dog and cat menagerie and you had better gush over their pets!! A nightmare of stupendous proportions.

YES. I think I've just about given up on the dating scene, especially where I live. The pickin's are just too slim out here. Everyone out here my age is a bloated grandfather, sigh.

You have hit a hot topic that no one knows an easy answer to. I recently spent time with my brother, we were waiting on news of our mom who had a stroke. There was plenty of time making sure she was getting the best chance to recover but also lots of time just talking about life. He has witnessed the best and worst of my life. Truth is he wants me to be reasonably happy...not wealthy, not in a big house and certainly not with a huge upgrade socially.

• I whined about my quest for a partner, my disappointments, my wants!

John says, "Shara, think about what you need, not what you want. That's normally two different things. Identify just what you need in a partner and give a guy the chance to meet those. That person will come in your life when you are ready. " (I'm skeptical of that one but what do I have to lose lol)

Simple but hard question...I've been thinking about it ever since.
*will answer later as a post. I leave tomorrow to join my brother John and family as we place our mother in a new facility. Sibs need each other's support through crisis.

Why on earth not!!!!!!!!! OF COURSE....................!

I feel the same. I'm 53, but I still look like I'm in my 30's, and I get a lot from people, "you should find a nice woman and settle down", and such like that. They just don't seem to understand that I have no intention of settling down, I love life, and I don't need a romantic partner to enjoy life. I enjoy my self, and my friends. All that dating stuff was stuff I did back in the day. I simply have no use for it any more.

Be positive, don't give up. I'm not. But I do agree that you have hit a nerve.

I only know that my divorced and widowed friends have been paired up again with amazing speed. Gives me hope that if I became single again it wouldn't necessarily mean being all alone forever. Some folks of the opposite gender are in the same situation as you are. In my twenties I was a late bloomer, so I experienced dating pretty much the same way you describe dating at 50 plus. Meeting someone that you find attractive and compatible isn't guaranteed. Then I think they'd need a probationary period just in case there was more than met the eye. The odds may not be in your favor, but I hope you can enjoy staying curious and interesting in the meantime.

You have a lot of filters. You eliminated a lot of people. I am married and 61 and not looking to date... but its not dissimilar from making friends. If i eliminated all religious, or republican or friends with health issues, i don't believe i would have any friends. My wife broke her shoulder 6 months ago, she is in therapy.

I think you answered your question with your filters.

Yeah, it is a challenge. Wish I had a great answer, but I don't. The world is full of theists, which is a shame. I don't trust a lot of religion believer's decision making processes. You never know what foolishness was the basis for their decision. There isn't much pragmatism that comes from an idealogue. If the pragmatic answer lies outside their limited beliefs, nothing gets solved. Just look at politics in the USA.

I joined OKCupid about 10 years ago, met a couple of nice women who I dated and hoped to become permanent partners. I havent used the site in about 5 years and I hear its now no good. I've been severely ill over the last couple of years and currently have no wish to date.

I think its important to be clear in your own mind exactly what sort of person you're looking for, and why you are using a given site. If its possible, make your 'wish-list' known on your dating profile. Also try to describe youself honestly, detailing your likes and dislikes. If you're willing to be flexible on a given wish-quality, please say so. this is a lot to think about and process, but I believe the more detail you can give the better.

If as you have found, there appear to be no suitable men in your area, you have a number of choices:

1. Change your requirements, perhaps for this site only. You may be hoping to meet a man with the aim of developing a romantic relationship. Are any of the men you've identified as local but unsuitable of any interest at all, for whatever reason. Maybe you can find a mutual interest that might give you the opportunity of doing things together and getting to know each other without it being sexually charged. Make it clear that you have reservations about someone and would prefer to get to know them more, without any thought of sex for the time being. You might be surprised that some men may be willing to proceed, and maybe, just maybe you'll find you like each other after all. Or someone might work as a mutual-interest buddy but will never be sexually attractive. Would you be willing to settle for that? If so, ask him if he would be prepared to settle for that too.

With OK Cupid, as with here, there was a good chance of meeting people with similar views through the discussion forums, who might make good online friends but live in another country and so be unsuitable to become genuine boyfriends/girlfriends etc. Its all down to what you want to do with your life and how well you want to utilise a dating sites resources.

If you're definitely not interested in settling for friendship, and don't see anyone that fits your criteria, are there any criteria that you can change? For example you may be looking for an idealised age range or physical build. Another quality might be the geographical distance between you.

If none of these tweaks yield anything, keep the site open (assuming you're not having to pay for it) and go try another site.
1 other option is to join a local club that caters to an interest of yours. I wish you luck!!!!