The mind is the best sex organ.

For me, the best sex and most shattering orgasms come from being completely opened up to a man: emotionally, mentally and physically.

This only happen when I feel safe (emotionally, physically and mentally). Building trust takes time. That's why I don't do casual sex.

The anticipation and the seduction leading up to sex is highly erotic and maddening...engaging the mind before the body even gets involved is what I look forward to the most...well almost the most...second most...

Hey, I like a good impromptu bang as much as the next tart, but I'm an even bigger fan of showering before hand, brushing teeth, not having a full belly/bladder/other, being adequately rested, not having a headache or back ache, both people being in the mood, etc. Sometimes you have to plan it or all those dirty little stars just won't align...

They are both fine. They are both satisfying in different ways. Mix it up.

At my age any sex is satisfying

Mindfulness makes everything better, at least that's my experience. Sex is not an exception.

Hot-blooded passion certainly feels good, unfortunately the chemicals can also overpower some and numb their brains.

But when men and women are mindful, they can think about what they're doing, they can be choosy about who they share their pleasures with, while also ensuring that their partners are equally satisfied with the process and the outcomes.

Like many people, especially men i'm guessing from the women i've spoken with, i didn't find out about such realities until i had experienced the opposite one dismal weekend after my last one-night stand ever.

The realization which brought me to my senses came in my late 20s, motivated me to become celibate for a few years, giving me the space which enabled me to bring my compulsive and often raging passions under control. From then on, love-making became more satisfying than it had ever been before. And it still is when i find the right person to share the joy.

Sex is mot satisfying and incredible when you care more about your partner's pleasure, and love them, that becomes one's passion.

Similarly, one wants to be with a partner that loves them so much, they want to being you as much pleasure as possible.

The two are synergestic, and create the most exciting, joyful, creative sexual pleasure that's far beyond the length or power of an orgasm. In fact, if can indeed lead to incredible orgasms.

Best sex comes from the undivided attention to your partner, foreplay is a lot more than physical actions.

The trick to good planned sex is to leave enough time between making the plan and seeing it through. This anticipation time is foreplay as others have said. The more you hint at the wonderful times you plan to have with each other the more fun when the time comes. I read about the same anticipation effect for vacations, in that study it was found that people generally had more enjoyment from the anticipation of the vacation than the actual vacation. Try not to think of it as planning like you do for a work project, think of it like a vacation plan. All the fun things you want to get in. Doesn't really matter if you do all the things that were talked about just have a good time enjoying one another once the moment finally happens!

They both can be. Right time..right place and right person.

So, partners with whom I've had consistently planned sex, it was typically less hot blooded, lust/need, breaking bras passion sex, but was consistently more satisfying and a generally healthier relationship. On the other hand, the individual encounters of fucking a hot blooded lion who needed me now and wasn't afraid to break a bra, were off the charts. Unhealthy relationship, less satisfying overall (not everytime was like that, but the times that were... Amazing!). So, if the question is what leads to a more satisfying sex life? Planned sex with a partner that knows all of your spots. Otherwise, spontaneous hot blooded lust gets my vote.

I've had good and bad times with each of those, so it's hard to give just one answer.

It's between the ears. Know your partners ears ????

I havent had anything other than planned sex so Im not sure how it compares to spontaneous, but I can testify to the fact that dopamine is more tied to anticipation than pleasure in the moment; usually the best part of my day is imagining what Im going to have for dinner when I get home ? “The suspense is terrible; I hope it’ll last.” -Willy Wonka.

Spontaneous when she initiates is the hottest and most satisfying. I think it may be because it enhances my feelings of desirability...she really wants me and she wants me now!

according to my experience the best sex happens in anticipation of the spontaneous, indulgent & outrageous act.

I think a mixture of planned and spontaneous. If it's all planned it could become like an appointment and therefore lose some of its sizzle -- ask couples who are trying to conceive, Leaving it to spontaneity with the busy lives people leave could leave you without for an extended time. So mixing it up seems to wori.

I have found neither truly satisfying, however I did find planned anticipated was less unsatisfactory than spontaneous.

I think if it were a serious committed relationship where we were both happy and I knew I was valued and loved, I might have even....enjoyed it to an extent

I have experienced both. There are times when I am just horny as hell and so is my partner and we go at it without any notice and it is a peak bliss which satisfies on many levels: instant gratification, acceptance and desire by your partner, an itch that got scratched at the right time, etc., etc.. Other times, planning and scheming and talking about it builds up the desire and expectation so that the event itself is almost incidental to the pleasure. I can't say that either one is definitively better, because both have wonderful merits.

Both spontaneous and planned work for me and Dan.

I know I need a slow build, with each partner focusing on each other's needs. If it's quick and immediate, it tends to end as quickly as it started and be very unsatisfying. Kind of like having fast food rather than a gourmet meal.

It works all ways as far as I remember!

Sex should always be satisfying or we are doing it wrong. Changing things up isn't a bad thing but I think mostly I just want to be having sex. Not too bent about the particulars

Why not both? I would love to be in a permanent relationship that prompted me to want both planned and unplanned sex.

At this point, it wold be beautifully extravagant to have to choose between the types !