Seeing as I have yet to achieve the great t-shirt label of desire. It might hypothetically go like this.
"I see you are agnostic. But may I ask if you have ever had a close relationship with God?"
"He got jealous when I dated the tooth fairy"
"But the tooth fairy is not real, god is"
"I beg to differ. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt goodbye"

No, have you ever concidered accepting reality into your heart instead of Jesus?

In this scenario, raucous laughter and a back pat for the guy, maybe say something like "no, I don't think so pal, but you believe what you want."

I would blandly state that I have never found evidence for any such entity with whom I could have a relationship.

Someone asking me religious questions is like someone coming up and asking about my penis - we need to know each other extremely well for me to go into that. And so, I don't wear shorts taking about my penis (I have a skeptic shirt, but most people don't equate that with religion). However, I tend to just say that it's personal if someone tries to engage me on the subject. If they continue, then I ask questions (Do you really believe that earth is 6k years old?). They don't continue after that.

I'd tell them I outgrew imaginary friends a long time ago.

If I wanted a laugh I might say something like "I'm more into Leprechauns.They're magically delicious".

If it's a stranger I'd just say "No, because there is no god. Thanks anyway." and leave it at that. I'm not interested in a pointless conversation with a believer. If it's a relative, or friend of family I'd say the same thing but in maybe a friendlier way...

I would just say No. just like in the ads we used to have on TV here telling kids to just say No to Drugs. I would tell him I just say No to God!

Here in the Bible Belt, being a nonchristian in that conversation means courting disaster. People will call the cops, they'll pull a gun, they'll wage harassment campaigns. And so we are closeted.

I used to work in a financial institution and got once in a while questions like that, usually I am at the beginning in total disbelief... a lady asked me once if I had already read in my bible today, I answered that if I am in the mood for fairytales I usually prefer the Grimms... that shut her right up. A good thing to say was as well, this is my place of work and we are not supposed to discuss politics nor religious beliefs. I love to discuss religious topics, and I like to learn why people belief they do, but most people are much too full of themselves or their god to be open minded.

The truest answer I have is NO! and I would view it as an impertinence if it were a complete stranger.

I don't mind telling my friends and people who are Ok with me that i have never had a god & don't want/need one.

I would politely interject my cosmic model that I hold. If they don't like it we don't have to talk about it.

My response depends on the person asking, but one of my favorites is “I was raised by a very religious family. I called bullshit as a toddler, and only played along until I could drop it.”

I am polite but unless they wish to also discuss why they are not an atheist it is a one side conversation. So I usually decline.

If I honestly have the time, anything other than engagement is a win for him. I'm comfortable enough about my convictions to discuss them without the expectation of persuading him to change.

I enjoy religious discussions. Whether they are Christian, Muslim, Earth-Based, Polytheistic, or otherwise. In most cases, I find the conversation stimulating and the vast majority of my friends that are religious know how I feel about religion. We can discuss things CIVILY and not have hard feelings afterwards.

And the reason for it is because I don’t associate with over-fanatic religious people. You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones that go overboard to show others how religious they are.

But I voted “Other” in this particular poll. Because even if it is a random stranger that walks up to me to discuss religion, I would still entertain them. However, as soon as they started getting aggressive about it, I shut them down completely and walk away.

"Well, if I had, I wouldn't be agnostic, eh? You do you, buddy..."

Someone who approaches a conversation like that, and it’s very realistic as I’ve had many open the convo in similar manner, doesn’t seem very to hearing others’ opinions. It seems more like he wants to evangelize. I either say i’m not interested or, if i’m really really in the mood, I may ask “are YOU interested in knowing why I don’t think God Exists in turn?”. and see what he responds.

Amusement. If I'm in a good mood.
I don't mind playing with them a little.

If I'm not in the mood, I have no trouble telling them to fuck off.

"No I've never had a close relationship with god, unfortunately neither have you. The unfortunate part is that you've never been given any help from a higher power and you are far stronger than you realize or give yourself credit for. I'm sure you won't change my mind and I'm not interested in changing yours, but I'd be happy to discuss further how the concept of a higher power is a human condition that has positive and negative affects on the human psyche."

At work, usually the silent treatment. However a peer tried to give credit to god on my recent promotion and I had to insist that it was "All me and my hard work girl!". In public, I tell those who start talking about jesus directly to me that I am an atheist and that I don't believe in that crap. I'm sick of that bullshit all around me at work, Im not taking it in "the everyday world".

Laugh as I walk away, thanking him for the laughs

I don’t mind discussing my attitude towards god, as long as it is done in the right atmosphere, that being mutual respect. I’ve met some very nice and well-developed people who believe in god, and even though personally I don’t hold that view I’ve managed to get along well with them.

Wolverine response: fuck off.