I think living together is a step everyone should take before marriage. You really don't know someone well enough to consider marriage until you live together.

I am way past bearing children, and my children are all independent adults. I have some pension funds that are tied into my ex husband's earnings because I was a stay at home mom for most of our marriage. Therefore, marrying would create a financial penalty for me. Unless future spouse is really really rich and really really demands marriage, nope not for me. Now for your questions re: minor children. The law is pretty good about child support if your name is on the birth certificate. The question of mom not working will need to be addressed by a lawyer and each state will have different rules. Property ownership will be the same way. Do you recall several years ago a Hollywood Palimony case? I don't remember the individuals, I just remember the term Palimony being kicked around. College for the children is never a given. I've known too many women left with little when the husband decided to take off, so marriage is no guarantee. EVER.

I've been down that road twice. I've spent the past few months thinking I won't do it again. But then I started talking to someone who I feel may have changed my mind. Blindsided, didn't expect it, and unafraid to face it. But here's the thing: you never can tell. I feel that if you meet someone who has the qualities you thought you were getting with the other(s) and living together for a while proves to be comfortable and fun, marry them.

I'll probably give marriage a try again (third times the charm, right?!). But for me, there has to be a real chemical reaction and strong attraction.

marriage provides distinct legal benefits. until society catches up to the idea that those obligations exist because of the nature of the relationship, not because you stood in front of a priest or judge and said "i do", it will always have those advantage.

As a child of divorced parents (technically they divorced and then divorced other partners as well)... Marriage is not something I'd be interested in.

acceptable to whom?

to the government? well, it's not illegal but in terms of what you describe -- child support and all that -- you have a different legal standing in some instances from the standing you'd have if you were married.

if there are children, then the above is a consideration.

if there are no children, then just make sure you have directives in place regarding being able to talk to doctors is the other one is in the hospital, for example, and make sure there is a clear will.

g

Custody is decided as it is in a divorce.
Child support is owed by the noncustodial parent without consideration of marital status.
Why should someone, mom or dad, entitled to someone else's retirement?
If there is joint property, it should be divided equitably between the parties.
College education of children is not a parental obligation. It would be completely voluntary.

I think you missed the more important issues. A cohabitating partner has no legal rights in medical decisions, for death benefits, or in litigation regarding wrongful death claims and such cases.
There are a lot of other areas where were you a cohabitating partner, you'd have no rights that marriage grants.

Worst case scenario, a man in a same sex relationship for years is in the hospital in a coma. His partner, who's been through everything with him throughout that time, can be denied visitation rights by the family. If a decision must be made regarding the termination of life support, the partner has no legal rights there either.

There are a large number of rights that married people have simply by virtue of that certificate.

All legitimate concerns...any wonder why a marriage license is called a contract?

I have been married three times, divorced three times. I have never been with someone who just wanted to live together. My last wife and I cohabited for about two years while my previous wife was holding us hostage to try and squeeze a better financial settlement for herself. But there were visa issues that were running out, so marriage to the last one was the only way to keep her and her son in country.

If you are planning on having kids then do the paper work, it's for them not for the parents.

That’s a lot of questions. Property ownership depends who’s name is in the mortgage. Child support- visit your department of child support enforcement marriage is not a factor. In my country mom gets medicaid and Medicare at retirement age. Hope she has savings. The rest can be sorted in court unfortunately.

That’s a lot of questions. Property ownership depends who’s name is in the mortgage. Child support- visit your department of child support enforcement marriage is not a factor. In my country mom gets medicaid and Medicare at retirement age. Hope she has savings. The rest can be sorted in court unfortunately.

Yes

Morally yes totally, the problem is recognition provided by the state to such relationships and the financial hit that may be taken because of lack of a legal standing! Different states provide different levels of recognition, generally the more secular the state the less importance is attached to a formal marriage and the more recognition provided to common-law relationships!

Marriage is essentially a contract with (insert deity here) involved. So just write up a legal contact. It requires some forethought but if it's all laid out before there are set expectations.

Yes.

Marriage does help for legal reasons, but does nothing to keep people together...or very little.

Although it is not universal, many areas recognize common law marriage when two people of the opposite sex live together for longer than a year. So if one of you gets litigious during a separation, this former spouse can do some serious damage regardless of a formal ceremony.

Certainly not necessary in terms of commitment. Perhaps if there are legal advantages. I think for a lot of older folks it is not financially feasible.

Circumstances. Two of my kids lived with their partners prior to marriage. I wasn't opposed.
I really wanted my son to get married more than my daughter. My now DIL is the sweetest person and wanted marriage. It was important to her. To him it didn't matter either way, but he risked loosing her eventually.
My daughter, well she's a different person entirely. I think she's still navigating this relationship. They're engaged. It's not that I don't like my future son in law. I just see some hesitation. In the end I do pick marriage over living together. I just think you try harder to hold it together and make it work. I see way too many people changing partners every other day. Although it's not my business, multiple partners can be very confusing to kid's.

In California, after two years of cohabitation a man and a woman are considered to be common law spouses, and the same rules apply as is they were married.

of course

Living together is completely acceptable. As for if you split, child support is done EXACTLY the same way through the system.

Keep it super simple K. I. S. S! . No marriage no KIDS AND Yes to s wonderful bachelor life ?

Done both. Enjoyed both. Not afraid of either one.

Marriage has social, legal, and financial benefits, but it also has drawbacks in all of those areas, as well. You have to do what works for you. Without marriage contracts, divvying up property and deciding custody can actually be easier, since you can avoid dealing with legal hurdles.
To each their own, I say. Marriage appeals to me for social and economic reasons, but I completely get why it does not appeal to others.