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The Bad and the Ugly

What are the worst qualities you inherented from your parents?

AMGT 8 Sep 1

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I came from two parents who were both mentally and very physically abusive. My dad would be in prison now days for his extreme behavior. Me being the oldest I could take getting beat black and blue with various instruments better than watch my younger brother and sister getting beat on.

I got married, my wife wanted kids, and I had think about that. We had kids and with her great amount of wisdom they turned out to be great humans. We broke the cycleπŸ™‚

I tend to drink to much, but other than that I am not like either parent. MY wife and I are still married after 44 yearsπŸ™‚


I have all my life tried as much as I can NOT to inherent anything from my father.
He was beyond abusive, mentally and physically.
That's one of the reasons i've never had children, I could not bear the chance that I might turn out like him.
And I could never do that to a child.
I do think I did pretty well in my life as for how I treat others, but i always have that fear.

As for my good qualities, I got that from my mother , and grandmother.
I have always been very tight with both of them.


Mother; unknown. Father; spent my life trying not to be him, see him sometimes in the mirror but these days i also see my grandfather who was a kindly man.




Inherited an ability for creating art forms from my mother. Got my looks and body from her, as well as, my soft spoken voice. She was very sweet, never got angry, and highly intelligent. Those traits were also received.

Inherited my reading disability, Dyslexia, from my father. He created 5 children and 4 of them are dyslexic. Got my extroverted, never met a stranger, personality, from him. Also he gave me my habit for alcohol while socializing.

My father was abusive to me and my mother. I am just the opposite. I would never hurt any child or adult intensionally. Never spanked my kids. He was successful in business and always had plenty of money for Lincolns, yachts, country clubs, condos, beach houses and our large suburban home. I did not inherit that ability. I never made over $25,000 a year throughout my entire adult life.

But you have a kind spirit and a love of nature

@Bigwavedave Didn't inherit those two traits. They are original to me. Thank you my friend for noticing that about me. Mostly I am my mother. Who left you your understanding & generosity ?


Negativity. My mom always finds the worst in people and situations. In my twenties, when I realized I was following in her foot steps, I started working hard at not letting that become my default. For the most part, I've beat it...except when I'm really tired and stressed. Even then I recognize it, so that I can re-evaluate when I'm feeling better. It's a huge relief for me; because, my mom, at 83, gets more negative (and meaner) every year. My dad is as close to the perfect man/father as they come. They've been married for 68 years. I don't know how he has managed all these years.

@AMGT I'm sorry to hear that, cause I know how the damage it does to a family.


I don’t think I did. My bad qualities are all my own. My mom really doesn’t have any and I really don’t know my father. Ha, so maybe they all came from him!

I tease my daughter that any negative qualities she has, they are all her father’s dna. ???

@AMGT πŸ™‚ In all seriousness, however, she did get her comfort with lying from him. He was a habitual liar and she seems to have no problem doing it. Thankfully, maturity is tempering it quite a bit. At least she doesn't make shit up out of the thin blue air like he did. Whew!

@BlueWave Wait a minute! Did you just say you were married to an orange skinned dude with crazy hair who currently resides on Pennslvania Ave?!


Similar to @Crimson67 my mother had the ability to be bitingly negative at times, to the point of saying hurtful things. I was definitely like that in my 20s but learned to break the cycle on a lot of that. Every once in a while her tone comes out in something I say, and I have to catch it. There's always that real difficult moment in life when you realize you ARE like your parents in ways you wish you weren't.


From my mother: fear and an intense need to please the men in my life (I'm aware and taking every step I can to change this).

From my father: stubbornness and a need to be right (also working on it).

I can totally relate...

I don't see anything wrong or negative in feeling the need to please the man in your long as it is fully appreciated and reciprocated...most men would give their right arm to find a woman like that.

@Lavergne, I'm sorry. @Hitchens, I've not chosen good men. I should have added "to my own detriment" in my original comment. I would love to try a relationship with a partner instead of a weight.


They must have taken you for granted...a fatal and foolish error in any relationship. I hope you don't change that characteristic..just meet someone worthy of that trait that is cherished by better men.

@Hitchens I'm really struggling with this. I'm starting to believe there aren't better men. I've been working on setting and maintaining boundaries, and I'm seriously considering just giving up and being single for life. Maybe I'm just terminally attracted to men who need to be rescued. I'd love to meet someone who could change my mind, but I'm quickly losing hope.

I know that sounds horrible. I'm working on valuing myself more, but even that is a struggle for me.


I think it's much harder for women in many ways to meet men that they would like to meet. A man can approach a woman he is curious about by simply walking up to her and talking to her. It's difficult for women to approach men in the same way..though it is refreshing when they do. Therefore generally they date men from a much narrower smaller pool of potential may mean meeting or attracting the wrong sort of guy more often than not. It's not fair..but you are a handsome woman..don't settle..or lose heart.

@Hitchens Thank you for your kind words. I'll figure it out eventually.


Wow, loaded question. The worst of me comes from my dad when I am rough or quick to judge. My mom was a saint. She died way too young.


Anger, vindictiveness, and a penchant for vengeance.

@AMGT An extra set of hands is always helpful in this line of work...

We're talking about your real parents, not Bor and Bestla, yeah?

@Minta79 Indeed. Pop gave me the rage, Mom gave me the will to use it.


From my mom, sometimes I let people walk over me , just to avoid the conflict and save all the drama. I'm been working on that one and it had gotten a lot better.
My dad wasnot arround much so, nothing from him.


Social awkwardness.


Lack of patience.


Inherited; might be a few medical conditions that are genetic.
Learned; intolerance of those who are not just like me.


Physical patriarch bony elbow personality some arrogance. Matriarchal physical can be clumsy occasionally personality can make unwise emotional decisions.


From my mom..i tend to over cook meat.

@AMGT a little late


From my dad - a tendency to be judgemental; from my mom - an inability to let go of bad ideas or to act before fully thinking through the consequences. Much of the time, I'm aware when these traits are manifesting and can make necessary adjustments or point them out and laugh at them before they gain traction or do harm.


Angry Scottish father. Angry Australian son.


I'm an asshole, which definitely come from my mother (usually think the worst of people's motivations, close off completely when I'm "done," and I can be sarcastic and acerbic, although usually I don't mean to be as mean as I am). From my dad I got depression and anxiety! From both of them I got this overwhelming need to take care of other people, even at my own expense, because if they aren't happy, no one is and we're broke and the power is probably going to get shut off and dad won't talk to you for a month.

Oh, and I have a thick ass shell that's really hard to get through, which is probably also from both of them.

I can play the "name all of the things wrong with Sis" game all day. It was a family favorite growing up!

@Minta79 You had me at 'thick ass'.


And eczema.


Inherited: baldness. Copied: too many


Mom: height
Dad: nose, some introvert characteristics


Male pattern baldness and a sharp tounge.

@AMGT Actually l wasn't that crazy about my hair anyway. I make jokes about being folicly impaired, but it never really bothered me. The mouth is a mixed blessing. ☺


I don't know if this is necessarily bad, but I come from a long line of self-reliant, independent people. Lots of us have chosen single life, and for those that didn't, there are multiple divorces. I learned my lesson after one marriage and one divorce. I'm happier being single.

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