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The Bad and the Ugly

What are the worst qualities you inherented from your parents?

AMGT 8 Sep 1
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32 comments

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7

I came from two parents who were both mentally and very physically abusive. My dad would be in prison now days for his extreme behavior. Me being the oldest I could take getting beat black and blue with various instruments better than watch my younger brother and sister getting beat on.

I got married, my wife wanted kids, and I had think about that. We had kids and with her great amount of wisdom they turned out to be great humans. We broke the cycle🙂

I tend to drink to much, but other than that I am not like either parent. MY wife and I are still married after 44 years🙂

6

I have all my life tried as much as I can NOT to inherent anything from my father.
He was beyond abusive, mentally and physically.
That's one of the reasons i've never had children, I could not bear the chance that I might turn out like him.
And I could never do that to a child.
I do think I did pretty well in my life as for how I treat others, but i always have that fear.

As for my good qualities, I got that from my mother , and grandmother.
I have always been very tight with both of them.

6

Mother; unknown. Father; spent my life trying not to be him, see him sometimes in the mirror but these days i also see my grandfather who was a kindly man.

5

consciousness

5

Negativity. My mom always finds the worst in people and situations. In my twenties, when I realized I was following in her foot steps, I started working hard at not letting that become my default. For the most part, I've beat it...except when I'm really tired and stressed. Even then I recognize it, so that I can re-evaluate when I'm feeling better. It's a huge relief for me; because, my mom, at 83, gets more negative (and meaner) every year. My dad is as close to the perfect man/father as they come. They've been married for 68 years. I don't know how he has managed all these years.

@AMGT I'm sorry to hear that, cause I know how the damage it does to a family.

5

I don’t think I did. My bad qualities are all my own. My mom really doesn’t have any and I really don’t know my father. Ha, so maybe they all came from him!

I tease my daughter that any negative qualities she has, they are all her father’s dna. ???

@AMGT 🙂 In all seriousness, however, she did get her comfort with lying from him. He was a habitual liar and she seems to have no problem doing it. Thankfully, maturity is tempering it quite a bit. At least she doesn't make shit up out of the thin blue air like he did. Whew!

4

From my mother: fear and an intense need to please the men in my life (I'm aware and taking every step I can to change this).

From my father: stubbornness and a need to be right (also working on it).

I can totally relate...

I don't see anything wrong or negative in feeling the need to please the man in your life..as long as it is fully appreciated and reciprocated...most men would give their right arm to find a woman like that.

@Lavergne, I'm sorry. @Hitchens, I've not chosen good men. I should have added "to my own detriment" in my original comment. I would love to try a relationship with a partner instead of a weight.

@Nottheonlyone

They must have taken you for granted...a fatal and foolish error in any relationship. I hope you don't change that characteristic..just meet someone worthy of that trait that is cherished by better men.

@Hitchens I'm really struggling with this. I'm starting to believe there aren't better men. I've been working on setting and maintaining boundaries, and I'm seriously considering just giving up and being single for life. Maybe I'm just terminally attracted to men who need to be rescued. I'd love to meet someone who could change my mind, but I'm quickly losing hope.

I know that sounds horrible. I'm working on valuing myself more, but even that is a struggle for me.

@Nottheonlyone

I think it's much harder for women in many ways to meet men that they would like to meet. A man can approach a woman he is curious about by simply walking up to her and talking to her. It's difficult for women to approach men in the same way..though it is refreshing when they do. Therefore generally they date men from a much narrower smaller pool of potential partners...it may mean meeting or attracting the wrong sort of guy more often than not. It's not fair..but you are a handsome woman..don't settle..or lose heart.

@Hitchens Thank you for your kind words. I'll figure it out eventually.

4

Wow, loaded question. The worst of me comes from my dad when I am rough or quick to judge. My mom was a saint. She died way too young.

4

Social awkwardness.

4

Lack of patience.

4

Inherited; might be a few medical conditions that are genetic.
Learned; intolerance of those who are not just like me.

3

Physical patriarch bony elbow personality some arrogance. Matriarchal physical can be clumsy occasionally personality can make unwise emotional decisions.

3

From my mom..i tend to over cook meat.

@AMGT a little late

3

From my dad - a tendency to be judgemental; from my mom - an inability to let go of bad ideas or to act before fully thinking through the consequences. Much of the time, I'm aware when these traits are manifesting and can make necessary adjustments or point them out and laugh at them before they gain traction or do harm.

3

Angry Scottish father. Angry Australian son.

3

I'm an asshole, which definitely come from my mother (usually think the worst of people's motivations, close off completely when I'm "done," and I can be sarcastic and acerbic, although usually I don't mean to be as mean as I am). From my dad I got depression and anxiety! From both of them I got this overwhelming need to take care of other people, even at my own expense, because if they aren't happy, no one is and we're broke and the power is probably going to get shut off and dad won't talk to you for a month.

Oh, and I have a thick ass shell that's really hard to get through, which is probably also from both of them.

I can play the "name all of the things wrong with Sis" game all day. It was a family favorite growing up!

3

And eczema.

3

Inherited: baldness. Copied: too many

3

Mom: height
Dad: nose, some introvert characteristics

3

Male pattern baldness and a sharp tounge.

@AMGT Actually l wasn't that crazy about my hair anyway. I make jokes about being folicly impaired, but it never really bothered me. The mouth is a mixed blessing. ☺

2

Not really...runs in my family, everyone knows/understand each and everyone of us is a separate entity. Perhaps a better angle for me is, how my daughters would answer the question

2

I’ve managed to overcome reactionism and absolutism (thankfully).

But I know I can be self-righteous, hyper vigilant, aloof and vindictive at times. Plus, unmanageably curly hair is a pest.

2

From my mother: pedantry, easily annoyed, and depression

From my father: anxiety, pride, and overly cautious

2

The one that comes to mind first is oily skin. I am a senior citizen and still get some zits.

@AMGT I've been told that's the case.

2

No clue. Adopted. They pretty much hid the records in the 70s.

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