Get out and don't look back.

Been there, done that, and here's my advice: once you've learned to hate sex with a certain partner, it stays that way. You start to think you hate sex altogether. You don't, you just hate it with him. Therapy and marriage counseling isn't going to fix it. After you leave him you will find your next partner amazing, (whether he actually is or not, LOL) just because you are able enjoy sex again. Its really something to look forward to - after 11 years of misery with a man who made me hate even the mention of sex, I eventually found a lover who gave me the best sex I ever had. So will you. Trust this truth - its not you, its him.

Bounce.

you won't at least not with him sex should be an enjoyable experience not a chore endured by one party so the other will be less horrible to them

You will only kill more pieces of yourself than he ever did.

I have actually been exactly where you are. Exactly. I taught myself to do just what you want. I taught myself to basically rape myself. To force myself to have sex against my will.

I won't tell you how because it was the wrong thing to do. It was what I felt I had to do to stay in the relationship.

It was staying in the relationship that was the mistake. I got out 25 years ago, and I still have nightmares. Of the physical abuse? The name-calling? No. Of the terrible pressure to have sex with an abusive man because I thought I could not live without him.

Don't do that to yourself. I could not regret it more.

That is a toxic relationship he's a horrible person and for your own happiness and future well-being I would strongly suggest moving on

Thats not a partner, thats an abuser. Get out. (Been there, survived that. Got out. Wasnt easy but nothing worth having is easy but the hard makes you happy.)(edited for typo correction)

It's your choice, but I for one agree with most others around here. Leave him. If you won't, find some porn that gets you going, and binge watch a bunch right before you go bed. As long as your body feels "ready" him, he will never know.

To me, it sounds like a catch 22. He is flustered because he wants to be intimate with you and you don't want to be intimate because of psychological abuse. You either have to talk about it and come to reason or make a drastic choice.

My first recommendation is to get rid of the damned texting. I'm serious. Talk to each other instead. The TV commercial that shows a roomful of people setting around and texting each other is the exact thing I see in the world today. Words on a screen are not personal and intimate communication. STOP!

Break up.

Why the Hell would you want to be intimate with an abusive asshole? Your body knows it is a Bad idea!
If you force it, you are in effect forcing a rape upon yourself!
Get Out & get counseling!
Being alone would be far less painful than what you describe, I have been where you are and I promise thrrre is Much better out there!

You're not in a relationship/marriage you're in a nightmare! get out! He's slowly killing you.

I have ideas about how to get yourself out of that relationship, but it looks like others beat me to it. It's funny how we try to cope with whatever situation we are in. This is not a situation that you can cope with. It damages your inner self. I am still recovering.

Why would you force yourself to do anything you don't really want to do? You're not talking about taking medication here.

Call 211 or go to 211.org. Sounds like you need abuse counseling. If it's more severe than that call 911.

This is abuse, pure and simple. No one should humiliate you into sex or berate you about it, and you shouldn't have to force yourself. Sex should be about respecting, pleasing, and enjoying each other. He has no right to treat you this way, and if this doesn't stop you need to get out of this relationship. You don't deserve this.

Talk to a women's shelter. They have professional counselors who can help you escape the abuse and manipulation you're dealing with. If necessary, they will find a safe place for you to stay.

If "words don't matter" why is he using them to attack you? This is abuse. Why would you want to force yourself to be intimate with a toxic person who deliberately causes you emotional pain. I can't think of a bigger turn-off. Perhaps if you explain to him how he is sabotaging his own sex life, he may get a clue. But seriously, it sounds like he's far too selfish to care.

Wow that sounds like mission impossible and very likely things you won't like to hear will/must be said so, I am going to have to pass. Best of luck, hope you will find the right answers

You need to leave. The abuse will continue and your mental health will suffer. He sounds like he gets a kick out of seeing your self exteem plummet. You can’t allow it to continue, believe me you cannot please him ever. He is a sadist, and you are enabling him to feel the thrill of debasing and demoralising you by staying around and even looking for ways to please him. Sex should most certainly be the last thing you should be trying to please him with. Just go.

This is abuse. I'm sorry to say. I know it's hard to see and admit. But you will need to make a plan to leave. It will not get better. It's not your "job" to have sex with him. You are in a partnership where you should both respect eachother. He's not respecting you. ?

There’s no way to “fake” it with an abuser. You need to start planning your exit covertly. Start socking small amounts of money away that he won’t notice. I don’t know if you have a job outside of the home, but it’s time to get some independence. Seek some help from your family if you are able or community resources. You are never alone, abusers want you to feel that way. It keeps you groveling back.

do not let your own thinking be dictated by their mentality. sounds like you need to get out from under that relationship sooner than later....