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How can i enjoy sex again

My partner enjoys berating me daily and reminding me that i never put out.
He says verbally abusive things to me over text messages and can't understand why I "take it to heart" he says words don't matter. But if i turn around and offend him with words turns he starts the name calling and verbal and emotional abuse again

Anybody have any ideas how i can force myself to be intimate with him without him realizing im forcing myself?

Abortiontattooed 4 Sep 4
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44 comments (26 - 44)

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2

You've had excellent advice here (below.) PLEASE remember that you deserve a life which doesn't involve "forcing" yourself to do anything! This man is abusing you. You don't deserve that! Yes...you can get away and yes...you can have a happy life. Away from him.

2

Words do matter they are our non magical wand that make things happen. Berating and abusive words surely do not inspire any desire for intimacy. My thought is run, not walk to the nearest exit from this relationship. Abuse only gets worse, no amount is acceptable.

2

You are not going to enjoy sex with anyone if you need advice on how to force yourself to sleep with someone who abuses you.

You need advice on how to increase your self respect and self esteem.

But if you insist on going down this road, drink a bunch of alcohol sheesh

2

Wow that sounds like mission impossible and very likely things you won't like to hear will/must be said so, I am going to have to pass. Best of luck, hope you will find the right answers

2

My first recommendation is to get rid of the damned texting. I'm serious. Talk to each other instead. The TV commercial that shows a roomful of people setting around and texting each other is the exact thing I see in the world today. Words on a screen are not personal and intimate communication. STOP!

2

To me, it sounds like a catch 22. He is flustered because he wants to be intimate with you and you don't want to be intimate because of psychological abuse. You either have to talk about it and come to reason or make a drastic choice.

2

you won't at least not with him sex should be an enjoyable experience not a chore endured by one party so the other will be less horrible to them

1

Why on earth do you want that? Not healthy.

1

The simple answer is to start having it with someone who you find attractive, and who finds you attractive as well. Based solely on your depiction of the scenario he sounds like a prick.

1

Ask yourself: Wouldn't you want to be intimate with someone who appreciates you and who you would enjoy it with?

lerlo Level 8 Sep 4, 2018
1

It's your choice, but I for one agree with most others around here. Leave him. If you won't, find some porn that gets you going, and binge watch a bunch right before you go bed. As long as your body feels "ready" him, he will never know.

Sorry hon , I can't agree with this . If he finds she is suddenly enjoying sex, he will use that as his excuse to beat her up . His whole point is to make her not want sex , so he can rape her . He wants the power over her , to make her afraid of him . He isn't looking for her to be happy , much less satisified .

0

Dump his dumbass and find yourself a guy who likes you for who you are.... Stop wasting time with people who tear you down...

0

Green Eyes has the best solution!

0

Forget him, enjoy it with yourself

0

Find a new partner,

0

I was in a terrible relationship for 18 years. (12 I thought we're good until i looked wuth hindsight) there was actually a sexual encounter between my ex and i where i just couldn't look at him one more minute. (Verbally, physically, intellectually and emotionally abusive) he was taken aback and said, 'as bad as it gets, i thought sex was always good.' ... And it was. I just couldn't get over the hump of allowing him one more minute inside me, figuratively and literally. It was 7 years later that we actually separated for good. I don't know your relationship, but if the bad starts to outweigh the good, you have to think about what you are staying around for. And if it's sex for some kind of power or control that you are trying to recover, I'm not sure there is any advice I can give you, other than to consider why its not happening already.

0

Why do you think you deserve to be treated like that ?

And why oh why would you ever think that he deserves to have sex with you after berating you !?

0

Put yourself in a coma

0

Bounce.

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