so 3 dates in and still surly and obnoxious ? what advice would you give a friend or your child in this situation? 1 bad date can be overlooked maybe, after that someones not making an effort .Personally i would cancel the date 1 redeeming quality will not make up for generally all round poor manners,opinions and surlieness

Are you ignoring red flags? I might give a guy a second opportunity, just in case date #1 was a "Bad Hair Day" for him, but unless he completely erased that bad first impression, there probably wouldn't be a third.

Not to me. Every exchange let's me see who they are. Anyone can have an off day or a great day. Neither is a real representation of who they really are. Consistency is what I go by. To throw my two cents in regarding you dilemma Dating is a little different. Intuition and chemistry is what I go by. Intuition helps me see their intent, and chemistry helps me feel a connection. Sounds cheesey but that's how I roll.

Three dates is more than enough to get an impression of who somebody is. I also believe that someone who comes off as obnoxious either lacks a reasonable level of intelligence or is exaggerating in an attempt to be impressive and show strength of conviction. Don't get sucked into what you will later regret. Throw in the towel.

Dump the dude. No more dates with the surly dude. He'll treat you like crap and become overly possessive. You can't fix him. Red Alert

First impressions are important but I try to keep in mind some people have social anxieties that make it difficult. Some of my favorite people come off wrong at first, but I am glad I got to know them. Some people are genuinely terrible, you will know pretty soon either way.

For me the first impression counts for a lot but it's my instincts that say the most. Doesn't mean I take any notice of them but they're usually spot on.

Just seems to me that you are spinning your wheels and getting nowhere.

I'm not sure that all of us have "redeeming qualities." I'm not very exciting, for example. I don't lie and I'm consistent to a fault but I am not exciting. Date me and you might find I'm more like an old shoe. I couldn't go for surly and obnoxious. You shouldn't either.

Good question; first impressions can be misleading ; it really does take awhile to find out everything you need to know about them and what makes them “tick” ; the human psyche is rather complex but rather interesting none the less.

If he's rude and obnoxious that would be it! I met a guy that was from another country and I thought that over the phone that it was just our differences but when I met up with him at a restaurant, he was rude to the waiter's! Then he told me some rude things, I was done!

Wow..you certainly are trying hard to stay in denial. I don't give rude people a second chance. If I'm not impressed the first date, or there's ANY hint of unpleasantness, then it's "This isn't working out, " and I'm gone.

Not a big believer in 1st impressions; I will form an opinion, but never cement it after a single meeting. 3 or 4 meetings later, if the behavior is consistent, you're pretty much looking at who that person is, imho.

First impressions are a single sample, personally I wouldn't draw a conclusion on one data point. However, it sounds like you have more than one data point, it maybe time to draw a conclusion soon.

Not knowing either of you, I can't really say. I tend to go a lot on my intuition.

Can't judge a book by looking at the cover.

Glad you decided to cancel but wish I could meet someone as patient as you've been

I hope women don't judge me based on the first impression as the first impression is when a woman walks up to me surprising me followed by a jump and a little scream like a little girl and the exclamation of, geez you scared the crap outta me. I recover pretty quickly but there's no denying or forgetting that little display. ?

Cool. I didn't read much past first impressions can be overlooked

I hope this isn’t true. As someone who has unfortunately built up some walls over the years, I would need someone to stick around long enough to build the trust up to break through my emotional blockades. I’m not sure my first impression is the true representation of who I am.

Probably why I’m sans partner.