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Being a woman is worse than being a farmer

I love this passage from the book, "Bridget Jones's Diary," by British author Helen Fielding:

"Completely exhausted from an entire day of date-preparation. Being a woman is worse than being a farmer- there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done: legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturized, spots cleansed, roots dyed, eyelashes tinted, nails filed, cellulite massaged, stomach muscles exercised.

"The whole performance is so highly tuned, you only need to neglect it for a few days for the whole thing to go to seed.

"Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if left to revert to nature - with a full beard and handlebar mustache on each shin, Dennis Healy eyebrows, face a graveyard of dead skin cells, spots erupting, long curly fingernails like Struwwelpeter, blind as a bat and stupid runt of species as no contact lenses, flabby body flobbering around. Ugh, ugh.

"Is it it any wonder girls have no confidence?"

LiterateHiker 9 Sep 26
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43 comments

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9

I don’t do any of these things, but I have no use for social norms. πŸ™‚

8

I saw my teenage son engage in the male equivalent of this which is sadly developing with the invention of manscaping. Making people unsure of themselves is a good way to sell a product.

In 'merca, EVERYTHING is about selling a product.

I see this to an extent in my stepson as well. It’s sad that instead of women choosing to be more natural, the men (boys?) are feeling more need to be artificial and spending more money to look like someone they saw in a magazine.

Well in a few years have to decide get a topee or go bald. Not good looking bald but maybe just wear a hat

7

#womenarefarmerstoo

7

The older I get, the less I care about ALL that bullshit.
What I do, I do for myself, never for anyone else.
I wish I had felt this way my whole life. I wasted so much time trying to
live up to "standards" I had absolutely no input on creating.
I quit wearing makeup over 30 years ago, though. I couldn't stand the stuff,
and always felt like I was suffocating under it. It didn't matter how much or
how little I was wearing.
Turned out, every man I've ever been with never cared about makeup. One of my husbands actually said he preferred that I didn't wear it. He always believed his sisters wore entirely too much and they always looked like clowns to him.

Society, in general, the fashion industry, and far too many women (and some men), have ALL contributed to this horrible mind-set that women aren't "good
enough" on our own. That we "need" enhancements to be attractive to anyone else.
I eschew all of this. I'd rather be alone than play these stupid fucking games.
At it's core, it's nothing but dishonest and cruel, and most of all, completely
fucking unnecessary.

7

Well , I don't care to do all of that , but ladies , I don't know about u , but I need my make up or I will look like a monkey . I am near 50. Was never a drop dead gorgeous , and hell yeah I laser chin / upper lip and all . U kidding me ? I don't need to scare my self on mirror in the mornings ! My hair are a pain u know where , it takes two hrs to dry and curls , very long and thick . I like my nails and feet done , makes feel like pretty ?
It takes me about 30 mnt every day to look like human and I admit , when done and dress to leave house or even just to stay in and do my things , I some times blow kisses to mirror, " bravo my girl , almost 50, still got it "??

@Pralinal

Like you, I have insanely thick hair. Mine is wavy, not curly. It's like an animal pelt:

Takes a long time to absorb water; holds water for a long time.

I sympathize with having thick hair. I get hot trying to blow it dry. Finally give up, and let it slowly dry on its own. Takes half a day.

@LiterateHiker I just got a razor cut from a professional...she actually thinned out my hair a lot...I got so tired of drying it but I didn't want to cut the length...I love it...still lots of hair, just thinner! I also have very wavy hair, but the cut seems to have straightened it a bit. I will warn you that it is pricey to have a good razor cut and it took over an hour to do.

You are a lovely woman! Taking pride in your appearance for yourself is a good thing! Keep blowing kisses to yourself! ha ha So stealing that...

@thinktwice I am holding on to the vanity of my hair ladies until I am the old witch who looks hideous w such hair and scary probably ? I bitch and complain but they give me the illusion that I can be a fearless lioness too . I am not a scared mouse , no no no , but lioness I am not and I will never be at this point , too late !!!! ???

@Pralina1 You have a ways to go at your younger age...if I followed convention, I would have cut my hair short years ago. Like you, I love my hair and will continue the upkeep until I can't. My mother had her hair done every week until the day she died...I hope to follow her example of pride that she took in taking care of herself the way she wanted...she was a lioness! ha ha

@thinktwice !!!!!! β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️

@thinktwice

The weight of our hair relaxes curls and waves. I get my hair thinned, too.

"I wanted you to see what it's like to have thin hair like me," Kameon, my hairstylist and friend, said.

To my dismay, she layered my hair in 2016. I hated it. To me, the layers looked ratty and trashy. A year ago, I started growing it out.

Good thing my hair grows fast. My goal was to get my hair put up in a French twist for my daughter's wedding on September 15, 2018. Photos:

  1. September 2016.
  2. August 2018.
  3. September 2018, for my daughter's wedding. I love the bling!

@LiterateHiker I like it !!! β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️

@LiterateHiker You met your goal! I think your hair was beautiful at your daughter's wedding! Agree that the weight helps straighten it! Mine grows quickly too, just like my fingernails...it is almost down to my waist...I do wear it up a lot. I should go get some bling! ha ha

7

I actually love the rituals...I do it for myself...of course, most of them are not done all in one day, but over a period of time as part of my regular routine. I am all in favor of doing or not doing whatever you feel like is good for you. I feel pretty confident whether I wear make up or not but I like to think of most of the rest as good hygiene and grooming.

I also have no issue with having others do some of the work if you like...I love having manicures and pedicures, facials, eyelash tinting, hair dyeing, etc. done by others. To me, it is self-pampering and not tied into any enforced cultural norm.

women can do all that or none of it. Be glad you have a choice.

@benhmiller I didn't imply otherwise... πŸ˜‰

7

This is all exaggerated for effect. There is a big difference between ordinary daily grooming and this over the top satire. I am lucky that I am not naturally hirsute and have never had to shave or wax my legs. Underarms only when I am going on a beach holiday....toenails painted likewise. I do pluck a few stray brows from time to time and never go over the door without a bit of lipstick and moisturiser. The hair gets tinted every 6 to 8 weeks by the hairdresser which I will probably stop eventually, but I think at the moment it keeps me happy. I don’t do any of this to attract a new partner but because it makes me feel good.

@Marionville

Exactly. It was exaggerated for comic effect.

@LiterateHiker It is supposed to be a parody .....it is Bridget Jones after all! Very funny book and film.

@Marionville

Have you seen Bridget Jones's Baby" on Netflix? This movie is enormously funny and uplifting.

@LiterateHiker No not yet, but I will....thanks.

My late wife was proof of my thesis that redheaded women never go grey - regardless of the cost - photo I took of her on her 65th birthday, July 9, 2014

@matthew1954 Wow....she was a stunner!

6

Many of those busy preparatory items are self imposed (or self inflicted), and not at all necessary.

I rather like being a woman !

6

Men always tout how unneccessary it all is, until they realize that no makeup is not the "no makeup" they see in the movies. That leg hair on women isn't the dainty affair they think it is. Unless you have a full on unibrow they probably aren't going to notice eye brow waxing. But yes, being a woman is high maintenance. The hair alone. I always compare it to having a high maintenance exotic pet that lives on your head.

6

My little sister got skin cancer at age 22. That was my wakeup call.

Since age 27, I have worn sunscreen on my face and neck every day, year round. Add a large, brimmed, Solumbra hat while hiking and gardening.

I never wear foundation. Here I'm glowing after a run in 2016. Age 63.

... and you wonder why I crush a little...? ?

@HonkyBMcfunky

Love your sense of humor! You delight me. Crush away....

You should see me after hiking. Flat on the couch with elevated feet.

Here's hoping hat hair is offset by pink cheeks and adventure stories.

And beautiful you are!

@Gooniesnvrdie

I always use Neutrogena moisturizers and sunscreens. They are non-pore clogging.

Neutrogena products contain no lanolin, to which I am allergic.

@Barnie2years

Thank you. "Fit is the new sexy," Health magazine proclaimed in 2017.

@Barnie2years

Thank you!

yep I had some skin cancer so now moisturize try to remember sunscreen and wear a wide brim hat. Us white people have bad skin LOL

@benhmiller

White people don't have bad skin. Your skin reflects how well you take care of your body and skin.

I never smoked and don't like alcohol. Never drink soda pop. Instead I drink lots of water.

Since age 27, I have protected my skin with sunscreen and a wide-brimmed, SPF 100, Solumbra hat.

[sunprecautions.com]

6

I live surrounded by farmers. Nope, I would rather be a woman than a farmer (although many of the farmers are women). I enjoy playing with makeup and it makes me feel good about myself. I don’t go overboard. I only spend half an hour or so and not everyday. I never do it for men or anyone else but me.

AND, a lot of women (and men too) spend a lot of money and effort to look natural, anything from products to services like facial/skin and hair treatments, surgeries, whatever. Just because someone looks β€œnatural” doesn’t mean they didn’t put a lot of money, time, and effort into being that way.

6

Why do we as a society keep pushing this? Is it self inflicted or our consumerism?

@uuberdude peer pressure can be just as strong as an incentive. So technically yes.. they do have a gun to their head "metaphorically "

Barbie and Ken

@hippydog I got off that merry-go-round years ago. It was never peer pressure that pushed me in either direction, although the occasional woman would smirk or stage whisper in my vicinity about cosmetics, depilatories, etc.... Disapproval about my "look" has mostly come from men.

6

it's funny of course, but gets me thinking, too: women don't HAVE to be like farmers. i am 66 and a half years old and stopped shaving my legs decades ago; i only shave my armpits when i feel i am collecting more sweat than necessary. i don't pluck my eyebrows and i don't wax anything. nails, lashes, nope, they are what they are. once in an extremely long while i feel blonde or auburn and match my hair to my feelings. more often, i don't. and you know what? i'm not the ugliest critter on the face of the earth. i just look like me. of course if bridget jones, the character, knew how to do that, there wouldn't be a book and then there wouldn't be a movie, right?

g

5

If you have never watched it and have a chance, the Amazon Prime series β€œThe Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” demonstrates this taken to the extreme. And as it works out, how useless it is. Every night the main character gets out of bed after her husband falls asleep, to go in the bathroom and wash all the makeup off her face, take out her hair and put it in curlers and put on a comfortable nightly. Then in the morning, before he wakes up, she goes back in the bathroom and applies her makeup, put on her body sculpting undergarments and do her hair so that her husband never has to see her β€œau natural”. ?

Great show! I can't wait for the 2nd season to come out.

There are still women who do that now.

5

I gave most of that up.

I don't shave body hair, but it doesn't grow anyway.
I don't wear make up because I want to be able to rub my eyes whenever I wish.
I trim my nails whenever they annoy me, which is when they get slightly long.
I barely exercise because just living my life is exercise..walking to food vendor stands, to grocery stores, climbing the stairs, carrying groceries, doing laundry by "foot."

4

That is very entertaining passage. The whole "beauty" myth gets sold to women so hard. I have worked on a farm and was always a woman. The woman part has always been the harder part for me, but then again trying to get runaway calves back into the pasture is annoying too.

I lived on an old style dairy farm. We had "happy milk cows." Not many small farms are around now because the farming family has been taken over by commercial "big farming."

4

Can you imagine the economic crash to the cosmetics industry,if suddenly the "Natural Look" was all the rage?? No more makeup,rouge,mascara,eyebrows artfully colored?

4

I take care of myself, but because I like myself like that. I can care less about what others think.

But I’ll say, some men don’t even know how to wipe their butts after they take a shit and if you only knew the amount of confidence they have.. it’s ridiculous.

4

As we get older, everyone gets hairier, including women. Not just on your head.

In April 2018, I wrote:

"Mom, what are those black hairs sticking out of your nose?"

well I used to be pretty hairy but now lost most of my hair on my legs almost like a shaved them. My upper body is still pretty hairy not as much as before but still a lot. But loosing my hair expected to be bald by 35 but at 64 not too bad can see it disappearing at least not residing front hair line.

4

This is so true and so terribly sad.
I am in favor or looking the best that you can but with in reason, which doesn't necessarily mean that we have to look like Dennis Healy, Struwwelpeter or live in a flabby body! πŸ˜€

4

Bullshit! That's what a farmer would call this ?

4

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA - Just wait til menopause hits, you'll be missing the happy days of PMS. πŸ˜‰

I don't miss it at ALL..

4

I suppose all that is needed if you feel you must look like a photo after a heavy dose of Photoshop.

3

We only shave for two reasons..the brainwashed norm of society that orchestrates it and we unfortunately feel less of a woman if we look in a mirror that stares back at you with a hairy reflection

The second reason is we hate being hairy

@Ravenwolfcasey I don't.

I haven't shaved anything in several years. But I'm also naturally blonde. You have to be very up close and personal before you see any hairs on my legs or pits.

@ailurophile I prefer a woman with soft hair everywhere. ..stubble or smooth the time conforming to patriarchal sexism is time away from love, gardening, cooking together and going out to cinema

@GreenAtheist I'm all for people doing whatever they want with themselves. It's none of my business what people shave, pluck, cut, bleach, thread, Botox, implant, suction, etc... I just get tired of all the snarkiness about women who don't.

3

I bow to superior on all fronts. I'm not a woman nor have I ever been a farmer. Once again I am no use to you whatsoever πŸ™‚

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