It seems to me your guest was extremely RUDE. You're not a door mat, chief, waiter, dishwasher nor the room service.
I always offer some kind of help when visiting people. Some of my guests have a specialty. One like to do cleanup, another likes to chop vegetables, some like to set the table or get the drinks. But everyone has a skill where they can help out. If they don't volunteer ask them to do some task instead of blabbing on the phone. Please don't let friends walk all over you. It's just not fair and not kind.

I am an adult with my own duties. I do sometimes have guests from my SERVAS travel group. I recently hosted 2 women and their mother who were celebrating her 90th birthday. The mother and one daughter were living in Sequim and the other lived in Calif. I showed them around the island, gave them a comfortable place to stay ( I stayed in my loft) and gathered some basic foods. We also had a great time just talking about things in general. If my partner were here we would have done a lot more but she is not and the visitors understood and were glad to help. I now have an invitation to visit Sequim and I will also help. I do this sometimes for the occasional visitors I have. I belie e in balance.

Someone needs to host and treat you for a change lady.

I always feel wiped out afterward, too, but I love having friends visit.

You, my darling, are SUPPOSED to be resting!
Get some damned rest.
You are only prolonging your recovery.
It's one of those vicious cycle things.

Even someone in robust health would be wiped out after treating a guest like a queen! Better to have had take out or gone out to eat, from my perspective. If she's a good friend I'm sure she would have understood. You need to take care of you. Is there someone you can invite over who will treat you like a convalescent and take care of you??? A little too far away, or I'd volunteer. I love to cook. It always takes longer than you expect (or want) to fully recover. Allow yourself that time, and feel better.

I feel much more spent hosting one than a big group. I love hosting a bigger group, but I currently can't afford to feed many people, nor do I have the space.

My significant other and myself for years had large parties. The 4th of July was at my place the Christmas party was at her place. These parties usually had around 100 guests and always featured live music,(I know a lot of musicians) food and a lot of booze. They were a lot of work and usually cost me around $1,000.00. I think what kept us going was all the complaints we got on our great parties. A few years ago we were talking and Nancy mentioned that “you know, we’ve been throwing these awesome parties yet we rarely get invited to a party”. We looked at each other and agreed we were done. It’s only since we stopped doing them do we really appreciate how much effort we put in them. Even though it’s been 3 years I still run into folks that ask me what’s the date of the annual party.

it is bound to be exhausting no matter how gracious the guest is, but she really SHOULD have offered to help out with some of the work, whether or not you were feeling well.

g

Those large gatherings your parents hosted sound amazing.
Did people bring some of the dishes for the holiday dinners, that sounds overwhelming without doing that or having it catered in some way.
They (or your Mom) would otherwise be too busy to enjoy any of it.

Your friend may not have realized you were still not feeling well, and might have been more than willing to help if you had asked.

Still, unless the phone call was regarding something of a serious nature, just chatting while someone cleans up after a meal they have prepared for you is something i can not imagine doing.

And I would also not expect breakfast to be made for me.

I would take my host out to their favorite breakfast spot.

As extreme introverts, we don't.

I just hate cleaning. If I could afford to have someone else do that, I'd gladly cook and entertain and whatnot. Cleaning leaves me an overheated, nauseated, painful mess.

Really depends on the guest.

I have one friend that makes it to town two times a year. He usually stays between one and two weeks per stay. He has no family in California and several relatives that live in town so he stays at my house to visit his sisters and their offspring. (without having to live with them) Amazing how with his special cinnamon bread he almost magically makes the floor and counter tops sticky. I hand clean dishes as I use them but visits he will go through a half dozen glasses in a single evening (new glass every half hour for each cup of milk) When he leaves, I have piles of towels, dishes, the (only stick when he visits) kitchen floor will need to be mopped, and he leaves the master bathroom a disaster. It usually takes many hours to catch up - - - washing his dishes (daily) is annoying but is better then him running my dishwasher every day. He is more then worth the trouble as he has a remarkable mind and we talk for many hours. The worst was when he baked a great pasta sauce that included bacon fat. Took many hours to clean the grease, had to pull the oven scrub the walls and the floor by the stove was a grease skating rink.

Another friend that visits a few days every four years is the complete opposite. He leaves no trace of ever visiting with the likely exception of a neat thank you card placed on a perfectly clean surface in the kitchen.

The last big event I hosted was for a friend's son's HS graduation. Had about 80 people but the friend's husband (a manager in the restaurant profession) made all the food and took all the dishes with him at the close. Only took a few hours to restore the house.

You do realise your fan club will grow many fold after this post lol

Can I stay with you?

I think whether you're energized by socializing or by "alone time" defines whether you're an extrovert or an introvert, respectively. You sound like you may be a very social introvert.

Even people who are physically tired from all the work often feel invigorated by having had the gathering. Or they feel invigorated on balance.

There's no reason you should feel obligated to enjoy it, or to do it more than you want.

There's also no inherent reason you should feel obligated to go so "all out" to do it, either.

BTW ... how does one cook ice cream? Inquiring minds ...

Wow! I know I will never turn down an invitation from you! You are a very gracious host.