Technically, you don't have to define yourself as anything, if you don't want to.
You feel how you feel. Nothing says you have to start slapping labels on it.

I think sexual attraction and personality attraction are completely different things, but are often confused as the same. Culturally speaking (American culture anyway), a sex label is slapped onto things when sex isn't or shouldn't be involved. I recently read an article describing how loneliness is killing the American man because they are too worn down my social norms and criticisms to maintain "best" friendships with other men; fearing being labelled gay or effeminate because they care for another man in a deep and meaningful way, etc. It's a sad state of affairs. Take this for example, I think Chris Evans (Captain America) is the coolest. His physique is unbelievable, but he seems so approachable and funny. Every press junket seems like a fucking hang out session amongst best friends. I've never heard any other celebrity have a cross word about him, and there is always a smile on his face. This is not to mention an adorable romance with Jenny Slate and loads of charitable work. Am I sexually attracted to Chris Evans? No. Do I feel the overwhelming desire to give him a huge hug and hang out with him? Fuck yes I do.
Final thought: Our culture is based on religious norms, at least in America, because we haven't evolved very much as a culture. It makes us question our normal and healthy desire for friendship and comradery and intimacy (which doesn't always fucking mean sex for fuck's sake) and comfort and whatever else that helps us keep going despite all we have to deal with as adults in the world.

I'm heterosexual, but I've seen a few "pretty" men over the years that had an attractive quality (e.g., the actor who played Ra in the "Stargate" movie). I'm not interested in being sexual with them, but there's definitely something I find attractive about them. I don't think anyone has to define themselves one way or another. It's been said that psychologically we're all at least a little bisexual, that there's no such thing as 100% heterosexual or homosexual. So, don't sweat it. I say just be yourself and don't get hung up on labels.

It seems like the US is obsessed with labels.

Since I arrived in Thailand, many/most Europeans and Thai are so androgynous that sometimes it's difficult to tell which gender they are, and many seem to be bi.
Yet women with buzz haircuts I've met who only dress in men's clothing, don't seem to think they are a LGBTQ category and have no labels.

But, according to a Harvard study, ALL homophobic hetero males showed arousal when shown gay porn, although tolerant cis hetero men didn't.

Another study showed sexual arousal in all women for all genders, when shown sexual pictures. Their speculation was that women being able to become aroused by anyone probably helped protect them from tissue damage, since most women have been routinely raped by stronger people, even women masters, for all of human history, which is why women were married off by their families..for rape protection.

In a gender orientation survey a few years ago that guaranteed complete anonymity, 85% of people admitted to experiencing same sex attraction in various percentages, I.e., 60% opposite sex attraction/40% same sex attraction.
They saw themselves as being on a "spectrum."

I define myself as trysexual try and if you don't like it don't do it again. i have had sex with women as well as men before deciding that I prefer sex with men. I don't think of myself as bi as I haven't pursued women or wanted to have sex with one in decades.

Is the label gonna change anything? Who are you reporting to?

Honestly, I think sexuality more fluid than people think. I mean I would say that makes you bisexual, if you have to put a label on it.

just call it a bromance or a sismance and confuse people. Confusing people is more fun than dealing labels.

Totally. I consider myself heterosexual (I certainly don't define myself by that label; and would add "mostly" because I don't believe anyone can truly declare themselves 100% heterosexual unless they've met every person of their sex that has ever lived and will ever live and not felt any attraction to any one of them), but I wouldn't have kicked David Bowie out of bed.

I think we're finally getting to the point where the ideas of sexuality are not so black and white. We're starting to see it all under the heading of "sexuality," then below that are the various forms it takes. For some, gay or homosexual fits perfectly. For others, hetero sexual fits. Others can comfortably call themselves bi-sexual.

But there's a growing number of people that really don't fit into any of those buckets and don't have a good tag to stick atop their sexuality. I think that's especially true of the younger generation where they are growing up without the negative connotations of being anything other than "straight."

Its the defining that causes the problem. Through my life I've mostly had relationships with women but I've have had sexual relationships with men on occasion - long time ago now. Im pretty sure my next relationship would be with a woman but never say never. If I had to pit a label I'd say hetero rather than bi.
I am starting to wonder if this is all a bit academic for me though

Years ago, I had an argument with a guy on FetLife, who admitted to regularly having sex with men, but who claimed to be heterosexual. His reasoning was that he felt no emotional connection towards the men he had sex with, whereas he could find that connection with women. He'd just described 90% of the self-defined bisexual men I've ever encountered.

After a while, I realised 'what does it matter?' Even though he's patently bi from what he's saying, how does it hurt me to allow him to think that he's straight? And I've tried to stick to that philosophy ever since.

There's a lot of denial going on in the trans world. Men who go with crossdressers and transvestites (not transsexuals) specifically for the penis, but who use the clothes to convince themselves that they're straight. Even stranger, it's common for them both to dress and then convince themselves that they're both lesbians. They're quite happy to be gay/bi women, just not gay/bi men.

But you also get the ones who are genuinely trans-attracted. They want male anatomy, but the 'Naked Rugby Players' calendar does absolutely nothing for them. The sexual interest in male anatomy is there, but the attraction to typical male presentation is not. They need femininity to get their motor running, even though once it is, they're happy to find something extra inside the knickers. Basically, they're hetero, but conditionally bi.

Long story short - sexuality is complicated. Even more complicated, since people keep inventing new ones that have nothing to do with sex (sapiosexual = only attracted to intelligent people.) So the best approach under most circumstances is to let people choose their own labels, and to avoid thrusting labels upon them that they're not comfortable with. And sometimes that means accepting that someone who's obviously bisexual identifies as hetero.

There's also a distinction to be made between your practising and your innate sexuality. The former is who you would physically have sex with. The latter is best gauged by what you fantasise about while masturbating. It's quite possible (and indeed, I think, common) to be bi at heart, but to only ever have been a practising heterosexual. Indeed, that's what society and religion try to herd bisexuals into doing, because it fits with their breeding programme, and why there's such a massive stigma to the first same sex experience that some people avoid experimenting with it for life.

But let me not dodge the question. What if I have only had heterosexual relations but I get curious and experiment. What if I am not impressed with the experience and even when I try again every now and then, I am having overwhelmingly heterosexual relations. Is to be curios the same as being bi? I don’t know that I can be considered bi. If I eat Mexican food all the time, does eating sushi one day makes me Japanese? I don’t think so. I guess I tried to answer the question truthfully, but you see, I ran into the wall of the inadequacy of labels.

I'm starting to believe that which sex you find attractive is a sliding scale between Conan The Barbarian and The Flying Nun.

I don't get aroused by men at all. In total, three gay guys have tried to pick me up. One was a work colleague who was openly gay. I was never intimidated by gays and have always treated gays as I would anyone else - friendly. (Yeah, I was known as the "nice guy".)

HOWEVER, I do adore Neil deGrasse Tyson - e.g. I would get excited by finding a new video of his. But, even right now as I try, I cannot get sexually aroused by the thought of him.

Is that adoration homosexuality?

I tend to think everybody is bisexual with a preference to a greater or lesser degree for one gender or the other. I generally prefer men but I can think of a couple of occasions I've batted for the other team so I put my hand up for bisexual. I define myself as being attracted to people not their plumbing.

you like some one, means you like some one. the hell with labels

People aren't always honest with themselves.

I would never want to be labeled by whom I was attracted to, nor would I want to have myself forced into a group or political movement by my actions in the bedroom or the porn I watch. I am more than my libedo and I pay everyone else the same respect. Be you. No one else can do it.

I have experienced a similar attraction to my same sex and even gay men! But, I think that is something else, not related to sexuality! It is some kind of attraction, but I had no need to be sexual with those people! It is one of those mysterious experiences in my past! But, I did feel a special kind of aliveness!

I can only respond by saying that I have NEVER had any attraction to anyone of my own sex. I can not and will not speak for anyone else.

I have an unusual desire for women who like other women. As a male, does that make me a lesbian? I am a heterosexual lusting after homosexuals. Perhaps there needs to be a new word? It is likely why I am still alone. Someone save me!

Sexuality and attraction are two different things. And each are a spectrum. They may or may not overlap in any individual person. Labels are somewhat useful for dating sites to help people find compatibility in that one area. Label yourself however you like to accomplish what you want from it.

As an aside, there is the concept of romantic vs sexual. It's possible to be say asexual but bi romantic. People are complex.

I think most people are curious. I know I am, but I don't men all that attractive, which I think is weird.

Please....this is a ridiculous question. Who cares? Labels exist, but you don't have to use them.

I would consider them bi, but if or how they label themselves is up to them.

Sexuality is certainly a spectrum for me. A year ago I was adamantly declaring myself as lesbian. I never had the slightest attraction to any man until April of last year. By the fall I was wondering if I was bi. In late October, I confirmed it. Today, although I am still sexually attracted to women, I'm much more attracted to men.

Nobody was more surprised at all of this than me (and my dear ex wife).