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Do you think other people generally see you, as you see yourself?

How big is the disconnect between your own self-image and how others think of you (or at least describe you)?

In some areas, I think my view of myself lines up with what other people think of me. However, I've been described as intense, precise, and motherly. All adjectives I never personally associate with myself.

How about you?

silvereyes 8 Feb 11

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0

Idk, idc & idm

I know I'm extreme in several areas, especially artistically and socially. I'm a "niche" artist in many fields, some I've created myself. If I was ever really concerned about what people thought I'd be much more conventional, as an artist and a person.

In a way it's apathy, dudeism in action (???), but moreso its being comfortable in my own lupus scarred skin. If anyone doesn't like it it won't spoil my day.

7

I seriously doubt it. No one at work knows from the depression I live with on a daily basis. It's hard to function each day, now whoever reads this will know too, my family thinks I'm fine. I'm like that commercial where she holds up a happy face.

6

Sorta. I think other people incorrectly assume i know what i'm doing. It's not full blown imposter syndrome, but i've gotten through life with a little bit of knowledge, and a LOT of BS.

It's really the combination of having some knowledge of the subject, and the confidence to make your delivery believable.

I've been playing music professionally for 20+ years. I'm not particularly dextrous on the fretboard. I wasn't some child prodigy, i didn't start playing until i was a teenager. I'm not a shredder or virtuoso by any stretch of the word.

I studied music in college. Music theory classes were always at 7 or 8 am and i was always walking in late and hungover. I got good grades, but i really didn't get all i could out of my education.
But hey, that little bit of theory i retained is enough for me to BS my way through songs i don't actually know (or remember), and lets me write stuff that sounds complicated even though it's actually simple. I'm not a GOOD musician, just a smart one.

...and that's pretty much how everything else in my life goes. Not on a wing and a prayer, but on a kernel of knowledge and a buttload of BS πŸ™‚

Having an ambulatory intelligence, readily able to solve problems on the go, is important to functioning. @silvereyes

5

I used to think very poorly of myself, that I was ugly and inadequate. As a result it was very hard for me to trust anyone, and when people said anything nice I always thought they were just humoring me. I've allowed myself to take in good stuff more and more over the years, but it's still hard. I still believe it quicker when someone says something negative. Gotta keep working on changing this.

5

When I was a child, I remember feeling confused about who I was. Was I the person adults thought I was or was I the person I thought I was. As I got older, it became clear to me that often adults projected their own perceptions of themselves on others, especially children.

Only those I'm closest to see me as I see myself and that's because I can fully be myself around them.

5

No, I'm much cooler. Then again, I would say that, wouldn't I?

4

I am not what others think I am! I am what I create and what I think I am. My friends and acquaintances are very much aware of my disdain for judgement and or opinions when it comes to labeling. Others opinions of me is none of my business.

My self image is just that....MY OWN!! Not a person in this world has or will ever have input to how I SEE ME.

4

I've been called a mother too, usually with an added descriptor. It depends on the situation I think. Some days, not knowing what others think of you is a good thing.

jeffy Level 7 Feb 11, 2018

Me too. Many times, but I never got a mother's day gift.

4

I typically don’t pay attention to how I’m perceived. I have a small set of friends, but I’m not overly social. I’m concerned how I’m perceived at work, of course, and I adjust my behavior, as necessary, to meet the needs of my job.

3

I assume that they do, and that's partly why I've given up on dating.

JimG Level 8 Feb 11, 2018
2

I am transparent in my real life. I am an open book. I am more so concerned with how I appear On Line verses in my Real life. How do Those people see us? That is a sea of objectivity. How well are we seen in such a space?

The same standards I list below also apply to real time relations. What is the point if we misrepresent or if we put off a different version of ourselves. They view us based on how we present ourselves. Why not line it up? I am pretty much the same person I am here as I am in real life. Other than what you miss in my physical being.

I think I am a close representation of my real self in conjunction to the person I potray myself to be on line. Naturally little subtlties are missed in text and those little nuances can enrich and bring a different level to a person, alone.

In that, I believe the person I am, verbally, and in person, is slighty different. I am much more mischivious in real life. I am a laughing, snide, joyous, positive person, real time. I hope it isn't lost in translation, but I do believe my snide humour is often misunderstood.

In that, over the net, it would be much easier for me to offend someone with the lacking of my voice or the sincerity it can convey, nor he humour or the sarcastic undertones. I am Pretty Good at picking up, naturally, on the groove of a persons communication styles and to their unique nature, but that is Not True of all readers. Hence, it coul easily become a misunderstanding.

Otherwise, I would say I try to be as True to who I am, to my beliefs and to my Core person Online as I Am Offline. I feel what is the point to this if Authenticity is lacking? Anyone can be anything and say anything at any time. It is up to You to play by the same, fair rules. It will Only be You who loses out in the end if you do Not stick to being as transparent and true to yourself in Both Worlds (online/offline).

To live any way short of that would simply be an illogical loss and waste of time. They should see us clearly as the person we portray ourselves to be, the things we claim to support and believe in. If you are viewed vastly different than your core peers see you, then... what are you doing wrong in your life? lol Who wins in the end of a bullshit trail like that?

Sadoi Level 7 Feb 12, 2018
2

Others seem to have extreme views of me. Some absolutely love me while others wish me dead. I tend to fall in the middle.

2

My friends and I would describe me the same way-fun-loving, caring, adventurous, sexy, and loving.

2

I think it all depends on perspective and circumstances. I think that there are some people who have a similar view of me as I do, but I know that others don't. Most of the time I don't care.

2

Are you kidding? It would be nice to see ourselves as others do but the problem is that there are lots of "others". We don't even see ourselves as other people on this site see us. I ask for my friends to give me constructive criticism as a way to grow but sometimes I am reminded, "be careful what you wish for"!

2

You cannot control how other people see you, so it is not a major concern of mine. I like hearing it when folks tell me what they thought at first, as opposed to what they think now. No clue how either idea got started, or why it changed, but it is still interesting to listen

2

I'd like to think that a few do. I'd like to think that most don't. it's a mighty tricky proposition to see someone else as they see themselves.

1

Generally speaking, you see yourself, but most people do not really see you or even try to. What they do is judge you.

1

Seems I have at times been perceived as a leader - NOT. But I am a person who will speak out, unafraid. I do not think there is a big disconnect

1

Most people seem to think I'm nicer than I believe I am.

1

I'm honestly not sure. I'm a tall bearded dude, I imagine people think I'm scary, my friends know otherwise, but I have no way to gauge the average person in the street. Kids are easier to gauge, they see me and are almost immediately scared crapless. But then they warm up to me pretty quickly. I love kids so maybe I try harder with them LoL

1

I can't say. I don't have the most positive view of myself. Others probably have a different opinion. I don't necessarily go out of my way to as them though.

1

Not in my experience. Not on a personal / emotional level anyway. On a professional level, oddly, people tend to have a somewhat OVERLY charitable view of me. But on an intimate level, hilarity quickly ensues. Predictably my professional life has been wildly successful, and my relationships have consisted of way more drama and way less connection that I would have wanted. Whether you're talking about marriage or more casual friendships.

There are so many variables in play that it'd be beyond the scope of a single reply to cover them all, but at bottom, I regard my life as a gradual realization of the fact that Other People's needs and expectations are WILDLY different to a degree I never imagined possible as a youngster. To the point that many people's perceptions and responses and needs are little more than an alien cypher to me. I have learned to grasp them at least intellectually, but find them exhausting to accommodate.

I have pretty much accepted that I'm going to die with just one person knowing / understanding / fully accepting me: and that's me. I think that in that sense, we all die as we were born and as we lived -- alone. It's just not something we like to accept; it's probably right behind the fact of our mortality on the list of things we'd rather not think about. We prefer to imagine we'll live indefinitely, and that some bright shining day, just around the next corner (or the next, or the next) is that close BFF, soulmate partner or whatever, that we've always fantasized about. Our culture obliges with all kinds of soaring ballads to these notions. But it's mostly illusory.

1

Nice post thanks, I think people find me weird more than anything else, I was called 'that weird child ' all the time when I was growing up. People were a bit scared of me as I was so old for my age. I understand the idea that - 'What others think and feel about me is none of my business' but I do get uneasy about how I relate to people as I had a very strange upbringing - its better all the time now I am just an 'auld doll 'soon to be 70.
I also have D.I.D (M.P.D)so have to watch that I am not triggered in a way that might upset others. I live in sheltered accommodation and people here have got used to me so I guess apart from the fact that I don't have a baldie about some of the ways some of my alters live my life for me so I suppose a shorter answer would be I'm sure when I am with someone and doubtful afterwards at times.

1

I know they don't but since I go to a bit of trouble to make myself look like an asshole, I can't really blame them.

Yet I do LOL

1

Too outspoken, laid-back, don't seem to have much of a serious side and a procrastinator, is how I've been described over the years. I think I'm misunderstood. πŸ™‚

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