My oldest sister.

In fairness to her, she had problems with body image. At 12 she thought she was fat. I'd argue that she wasn't quite finished growing yet and that she might well be quite thin when she finished but... my grandmother (she was a nurse) gave her prescription diet pills. In the '60s, that meant she gave her speed. Long story short: my sister was addicted to drugs at an early age and tried everything you can think of... she even asked my father (a mortician) for embalming fluid as she had a friend who could make drugs out of it...

She was actually fairly discreet with her addictions but... I have a rather fond memory of sitting in the master bedroom, on the bed, with my mom and my two (both older than me) sisters. Sorting through pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters and filling out coin collection books. Those books are gone. They disappeared, near as I can tell, during the time frame that my oldest sister was in her teens. Likely she saw a book of quarters worth $5 and took them for $5 not realizing that well over half of them (if not all of them) were silvers worth more than face value. Not to mention the pennies (we had steelies from WWII, among others). NO, I am NOT railing about the idea that she sold a collection worth a few hundred dollars for several dollars... that is crass. What I am railing about is the tangible evidence... to the memory of the four of us sitting together, on a warm afternoon, dustmotes in the air, joyfully sorting through a collection together. THAT is the value lost in the theft of these coin collections.

Fast forward twenty, or more, years and my eldest sister now has a masters in psychology. My mother is just beginning to show the first signs of dementia and, I think, she has recognized this. She contacted my uncle, and grandfather (my mothers father) and tried to convince them to have mom put away. My other sister finds evidence that mom has sprouted several credit cards she doesn't know about and... well, the long and short of it is two fold: First, my mother was about $160,000 in debt (we were able to clear that up, I am not sure how). Second: because of this we moved my mom in with my other sister, we never got a chance to talk to my eldest sister to know that mom was in trouble and thus treatment was delayed. If she'd pulled all of us in to talk about what was going on with mom AND fessed up to the financial shenanigans we'd've gotten mom to a Dr post haste. Instead, we got mom away from my oldest sister and... didn't know to get her to a Dr. pronto.

At this point this is all water under the bridge as only my younger sister and I are still around but... it hurts and again, not for the surface values but for the loss of my mot her too soon, and the loss, or corruption, of memories.

My late grandfather was quite cantankerous throughout his life. As he aged, he got worse.
Wasn't easy to deal with.
By the time he passed, it was clear he had been in the throes of dementia for a while.
He'd started calling me "Doc", when I was with him, which was what he had called my grandmother.
The weird thing was, after he was placed in a nursing home, I'd call him once a week (we lived in different states), and he always knew it was me. Without me having to tell him who I was.

My father is a bigoted, transmisogynist asshole (among other horrific qualities), and I will never see nor speak with him again.

My father. We live across the country from one another, which is how I like to keep it. When he mentioned moving closer to see my daughter more, I immediately thought of moving overseas. Which is actually an ideal option for other reasons. Either way, our relationship is one I don't care for.

Pretty much everyone I know on a personal level at the moment aside from my kids. I've been anti-social since my divorce.

Pretty much everyone on my father's side of my family. They're very insular and self-involved, and always looked down their nose at us.

Yes! My younger brother is a complete dipshit.

He's easily one of the least intelligent people I know, yet he thinks he's a genius. He has been fired from or quit many jobs because his bosses don't know how to run their own businesses.

He's a hot head, and when he gets drunk (which is often) it's x10. Then he wants to fight.
Drunk fighting isn't smart cuz "beer muscles" but he won't back off.
Hell, I've knocked him out twice myself.

My older brother. He was always lazy. He lived on and off with our mother well into his 50's. He said that he was taking care of her, but when she got dementia and she really needed someone to take care of her he was gone.

An uncle (conspiracy nut, racist, pro-Trump, anti-medicine, pre-Vatican II Catholic, anti-science). A half-sister (needs to make everything about her, needs to be in the spotlight, center of attention, has been troublesome in the past). A cousin (can be extremely overbearing, judgmental, insulting, moralistic).

I did, my 'sister' who is an abisive toxic person. I have no further contact with her.

I also have an aunt that I care for, but she's difficult to be around. She criticizes me a lot. She tries to work on it though. Plus her relationship with her husband is just stressful to be near. They don't respect each other. It's awful n

For your grandfather, it's pretty much an old age thing. My mother was like that a little. As we get older we lose some of that filter. I notice it with myself. Same with the accusations. Has he been tested for dementia?

I've set boundaries with the family members I don't care to deal with, and pretty much it works. I have to enforce the boundaries from time to time, but that's ok. Just because they are family and we love them, doesn't mean we have to like them or tolerate them.

I don't speak to my mother or my sister. I went two full years without speaking to my mother and then due to what happened with my oldest son I've had to speak to her about 6 times. i'm done now though. She can go back to leaving messages. It's probably been 3 or 4 years since I talked to my sister.

After I quit talking to them I discovered how much more pleasant my life was without them in it.

My mother was a person who loved to manipulate people. I moved to USA to prevent her from buttering in my life...and my older sister who wanted to copycat her
I run away from toxicity....

My mother: severe bipolar, poor memory, zero impulse control, emotional regulation, or ability to interpret social cues. I think she's been sliding into frontotemporal degeneration/dementia for the past fifteen years or so. She's not the same person anymore. She could cause a scene in public at the drop of a hat because she has a hair trigger and can go from calm to full thermonuclear meltdown in an instant, over a completely wrong interpretation of a word, a look, a gesture. She has no empathy or sense of what's socially appropriate, no boundaries, and no filter--so any information about my life is hers to blab. I have to appease her demand for relationship with me, or she makes my life hell. I'm an emotional hostage. It's a nightmare.

Yes!!! It’s a family member who I just cannot understand why they’re like this. They’ll smile to my face but talk about me behind my back as soon as my back is turned and I’ve done nothing but try to be nice. I quit altogether and quit going around them. Problem solved now.

My oldest brother is an ass. My brother I have nothing to do with him.

It is important to remove toxicity from your life as completely as possible.

There's not a direct family member that I have an issue with like that, and I consider myself lucky in that respect. The mother of my child, however, is another story. I am happily divorced and have been for over ten years, but co-parenting with an angry, abusive, alcoholic narcissist is a chore, to put it lightly.

I fought for and was awarded custody of our son in the divorce. For years I have watched in horror as a brilliant young man has been torn in his loyalties as she has lied to him, undermined my authority and generally gone out of her way to wreak havoc in my home. She had him convinced that my rules are "crap" and my discipline is "abuse"--something she was planning to try to prove in court. Meanwhile, her own antics ended up getting her temporarily court-ordered not to contact him, then eventually incarcerated for multiple issues (drugs, third DWI, resisting arrest, and probation violation, to name a few). In the last two months with no contact, he has become a better citizen at home, does chores without being asked (mostly--he is a teenangster, after all), is pleasant and talkative where he was sullen and withdrawn before, and he went from failing half of his classes, to being on the AB honor roll. With the toxicity gone, the true colors of a good kid are starting to shine through.

sounds like his clutch is slippin' some. its tough on everyone.

I cannot stand my mother, and as she gets older her memory is almost nonexistent. I avoid her as much as possible and wait for her to die

As far as family members, I don't know where to start...

Most of my family

I have no connection with my mom at all. Never really did. She is all Trump or Jesus these days. Hard to find common ground with someone detached from reality. No big deal though. We have never been close. Cannot even think of a place to start the bridge anymore

Yes. All my family members... Most of them I don't deal with at all. My dad is dead. I keep in touch with my mom and one of my two sisters. The other sister is a thief and pathological liar. I saw her when my dad died a year ago and the next time will probably be when my mom dies. I don't expect to ever see her after that...

My half-brother born and raised in Ohio posting memes saying shit like "the south will rise again" and "the war was about states rights" shit knowing my grandchildren are mixed.

Every time I would say something but it bothered me enough that I unfollowed him

Aside from my feelings about the southern pride shit, the little asshole has never spent more than 2 weeks in south

Brother in law - abusive to my sister. Would like to kick his butt sometimes.