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"How can you be a moral person and be an atheist?" I get asked by Christians. Friends who are atheists get asked the same. thing. It t is rude and tiresome. Being a good person is a choice.

Today I received this message on another dating site:

"I really like your playful, creative, giving being. You're more "spiritual" than most religious people. I'm curious how an "atheist" can live that way."

I would never hassle Christians about their faith. Christians who don't know me often insist that I explain:

  1. Why I am an atheist.
  2. How the universe began (as if being an atheist automatically makes me an astrophysicist). "Nobody knows," I reply. "Science is advancing more every year."
  3. What happens when people die. "Nobody knows," I reply.
  4. What is spirituality?

I don't have to justify my lack of belief in an invisible deity to anyone. Your thoughts?

LiterateHiker 9 Feb 17
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40 comments

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18

Penn says it very well.

What he said.

Very funny!

Love it!

I don’t think I could have put better myself.

@ChrisJones Exactly. That's why I shared it. The idea that morals only come from a sky daddy always bothered me right up to the day I read his comments.

Good answer.

14

Morality is doing what is right regardless of what you are told.
Religion is doing what you are told regardless of what is right.

Agreed.

Great way to express it!

Yes, and are all religious people without sin? The bible says they will be forgiven their sins if they repent.

@Alynscott There is no god(s), there is no sin, the bible is BS. In My Humble Opinion.

7

It seems tragic to me that some people are only on their best behaviour because they believe God is watching them and will punish them otherwise. It makes me wonder how they would behave if they didn't believe they were being watched and judged.

So perhaps explain that you have your own moral compass, and don't need to be in fear of reprisals from God in order to follow it.

Well put, Nicole. I appreciate your response, especially:

"It makes me wonder how they would behave if they didn't believe they were being watched and judged."

"So perhaps explain that you have your own moral compass."

7

If the only thing that keeps you from being a shitty person is fear of eternal torture, I have some bad news for you.

JimG Level 8 Feb 17, 2018

Jim, you made me laugh out loud. At age 13, I became an atheist when I realized the Bible was just a book of stories written by men.

6

Morality is based on your level of empathy. If you feel empathy and altruism, you act in a moral manner. Religious morality, on the other hand, is based on fear of repercussions, and therefore your motivation is not necessarily moral at all.

Exactly.

That's so right. People that are indoctrinated by religion do what they are told and they don't need empathy, as long as they follow the rules. That's my explanation why so many Christian people are so egoistic and self-centered. They even are violent (for example think of the US military) as long as it is within the boundaries of Christianity.

6

I like to turn the tables and use their dog or something. How could anyone have morals without Rover? At least I know rover created the universe. When they say I sound ridiculous, i point out that they have no evidence for their claims and they sound just as ridiculous to atheist. The difference is I can prove their dog exist making my argument stronger. Never been much of a conversation after that.

That's hilarious, David! "I don't believe in an invisible deity that resides somewhere beyond the clouds," I say to Jehovah Witnesses who knock on my door. "I stopped having imaginary friends at age four."

That shuts them up. Then I grin, cheerfully say goodbye and shut the door.

5

When I'm asked "how can you be a moral person if you're an atheist?", I always ask, "How can you be a moral person if you're only moral because you don't want to piss off your god?"
Then I ask, "How can you worship an extortionist?"

That's what I suggest. I say that even if they are not religious and still themselves, "wouldn't you still be a good person?" Or do you believe, being the "good person" you think you are, you would go around killing, stealing, hurting others without god??

5

It's called being defensive. These people hate it when someone actually asks questions about religion. It makes them nervous. I would ask them how can being a Christian makes them moral and BTW what is moral to them?

4

Easy answer. As easy as it is to be religious and immoral.

4

Many religious persons live with mental blinders on. They simply reguse to see anythign outside of their own beliefs or experience.

Good point.

And they are taught that if they do seriously question their religious faith, that they are very bad, and will suffer eternal punishment. They are virtually bullied into intellectual submission in my view.

I like Sam Harris's theory that the reason for the blinders is that society is never allowed to question religious people as to why they believe such things. IF that was an open dialog, they would have to take off the blinders at least to some degree, but currently the subject is simply taboo.

3

I forget where it was from, but it goes something like this: If the only thing keeping you from doing immoral things is eternal damnation and threats, then you're just a psychopath on a leash and not really moral at all. Oh, and the fact that they see "I don't know" as an act of rebellion is insane, really just being intellectually honest.

Love it, AustinSkepticus. Succinct and true.

Imagine a place (their heaven) full of these beings?

@JackPedigo Exactly like please send me to hell, I don't want to be with those people.

3

"I don't know. How can you be a moral person and be a (insert religion)?"

3

I would suggest that you tell them the burden of proof is on them. You should ask ,how can you believe in a book that consists of flying chariots, talking snakes, and resurrections. We may not know how the universe began ,but that doesn't mean we conclude that an invisible guy in the sky created it. Dr. Michael Shermer talks about intentions agency and other discoveries thar show man created god and not the other way around. You could use these as arguements.

3

Religious people are often surprised that we don't have horns growing out of our craniums. Morality that comes from introspection and an abhorrence of chaos seems much more sound than one that is handed down from a variety of deities on high.

I like your answer to how the universe began : "I'm an atheist not an astrophysicist" LOL. I will say, I prefer that religious people keep their beliefs to themselves and I will do the same. This generally avoids that entire discussion which will never resolve or go anywhere anyway. We will not sway a believer any more than they can sway us so I practice tolerance when it comes up and change the topic as quickly as possible in order to keep the relationship going (if I want that to happen) and not get pissy with these folks. Just my 2c.

3

I answer that I chose to do the right thing because I want to do it, and because I am looking for a reward in the afterlife, or the fear of punishment in the afterlife. I have no ulterior motive to be a moral person.

3

These are ignorant people who don't understand what morality is... if they did, they wouldn't bother you about it.

godef Level 7 Feb 17, 2018

For 12 years, I have been a volunteer college mentor at Wenatchee High School. I help low income, minority students write essays to apply for college and scholarships. This is the most rewarding volunteer work I have ever done.

3

Well you might tell them that you love life, and your love of life does not include any irrational faith in some mystical life after death which seems to pervade most religions. The primary way religions obtain a hold over people is their insistence of salvation after death. This belief in eternal life has caused so much pain, suffering and abuse that it ought not be tolerated by any sane person.

cava Level 7 Feb 17, 2018
2

Whenever Christians start asking me how I can be "moral" without "God," I ask them, "Why do you have to outsource your morality to someone else? What prevents you, as a human being from being moral?" I will never sell my soul, and I will never outsource my morality. This way I get to be the man I really want to be (or closer to it than if I sold my soul), and I can maintain my integrity.

2

That's what religious people tend to not see. None of it matters. I am more concerned with the here and now than I am with what comes after. I live, I love, and do what I can to share that. Religion didn't tell me to do that; my heart did.

you make your own heaven and hell here. If you live life and people remember you as good after you are dead that is heaven. If people are glad you died celebrate you are dead that is hell.

2

Love your responses quick and sharp wish I were as cute! I think I might be prone to hesitation and waffle!

Hesitation and waffling can work.

It's akin to agreeing with my sister, just to get her to shut up even though I really don't agree with her. Or when I really just want her to have no room left to argue with the now infamous line 'Whatever'. You should try it sometimes. It's very therapeutic.

Thank you, jacpod! I appreciate your kind words.

2

"How can you even have a relationship with someone of the same sex? Who's the 'woman' and who's the 'man'?"

"How can you be in a relationship with more than one person at a time?? There's no way that could work..."

"What do you mean, you don't like sex? What happened to you to make you like that?"

"Why aren't you interested in dating? What's wrong with you??"

How can you do these things that I never examined and don't understand, and that conflict with my worldview?

Welcome to Earth. People are stupid.

The man who sent me that message is a Ph.D. psychologist. Not all people who ask this question are stupid. I agree with the man who called it arrogance.

2

I make sure people know me for a while before I get into that conversation. It depends on where I am socially with that person. I think I had it hard in the beginning, when people were actually afraid tp even approach me at work, because we spend so much time together it's going to come up.

I like to tell people that we were born and taught our morals and add our ethics later to merge who we were and who we were meant to be. People seem to like that answer. Because it doesn't point fingers and brings to light that both are important.

2

Simply tell the questioner, "Your question is intrusive and rude." Then do not respond further.

Good point. I don't want to be grilled or pulled into a debate.

2

I understand your frustration. I don't get how some God fearing people seem to think you need something like a Bible to help determine between good and bad. Morality is a choice you make for yourself, not because of some belief in a God.

Exactly. Morality is a daily choice. As a child, I learned that being kind and funny got positive results and attracts friends.

1

I tell them I don't need reward and or fear to be good I just am.

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