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Atheists, what was the hardest thing to accept when you became atheist?

For me it was just my entire life turning upside down. When I left my cult I have to revaluate everything I knew about my life and accept actual truths of life. The hardest thing to accept for me was I was living a lie for the first 19 years of my life and that I wasted precious times that could have went to finding my true self.

Tyrantmike 6 Mar 24
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62 comments

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1

It has not been hard for me...because I moved through many different religions and studied most of the others, or at least I informed myself about them. I found that when I got all that made any sense to me, about each religion, I moved on to something else! And I kept getting further and further away from religion! I always had questions that I tried to figure out and if I broached them with my religious peers...that only got me ‘put in my place!’ So finally, I succumbed to courage, and made claim to my disbelief...and life is working out as it should! But, on the other side now...I do not think that half of my life was wasted on religion...because I did keep my head above water..,and I know stuff about those religions and people, that you can’t learn from a book!

8

Accepting the fact that I really never will see my dead loved ones again. Exceptionally painful. This may be the sticking point preventing many from making the transition. It's a whole secondary grieving process.

7

The fact that many of my friends are wasting their time with religion.

6

Lack of community. The nice thing about a church is having a support group. Humanists need to focus more on building brick and mortar institutions, schools and support groups. Way too much energy is wasted on criticising Christains and not enough time is spent on building positive social networks for the non-religious.

6

There is nothing after death and I wasted so many years believing fairy tales. i could have put them to better use.

6

At age 13, I became an atheist when I realized the Bible is just a book of stories written by men.

Passive-aggressive questions from Christians are annoying. I love shutting them up with my answers.

  1. How can you be an atheist and a good person with morals? Answer: "Life is a daily series of choices. I choose to be a kind, honest person."

  2. How did life start on Earth? "Nobody knows. Science makes new discoveries every year."

  3. What happens after you die? "Nobody knows. I plan to become fertilizer."

  4. Where did the universe come from? "I'm not an astrophysicist. Science makes new discoveries every year."

  5. But what if you're wrong? "I don't care. I don't believe in an invisible being that resides somewhere beyond the clouds."

  6. So, you can do what you want? "No, I can't drink and drive, murder, rape or steal. It's illegal."

I ask Christians:

I pick up litter, recycle and volunteer to help people in need.

  1. What are you doing to protect the planet and help needy people?

  2. How many unwanted children have you adopted?

5

There's no divine punishment for pedophiles who molest children and shooting them frowned upon.

Their Worst punishment is just being themselves.

@Storm1752 Unless they LIKE being pedos and never get caught... then they don't suffer AT ALL. How the hell is that a form of punishment? Google "NAMBLA" Man, you really need to learn to think stuff through better...

@Kafirah I DID think it through. They feel guilty about it. OR they sneak around, live in fear of someone finding out, and eventually get caught. Terrible way to live. Maybe they actually skate right through and die with a smile on their face. I figure that'd be rare.

@Storm1752 oh yeah I definitely feel bad for the person that has to sneak around raping children.... are you seriously defending people who rape kids?

@Storm1752 There is an inherent assumption of guilt, but that is most certainly not the case in repeat offenders... Or at least it seems to be a complete lack of guilt.

@Kafirah Or an uncontrollable compulsion. A very disturbing topic. We're talking about something at least AKIN TO, if not QUITE as severe, as serial murder, a disease of the mind. That's why they increasingly throw away the key. They are usually beyond rehabilitation, reformation, hope.

@Storm1752 I get that, totally. What I'm saying is that if they feel no guilt and never get caught... there is no punishment other than having to feel like they should hide it from the world, which is just common sense and smart. Evil often hides itself, but that doesn't mean evil minds hiding itself. At best, that's an inconvenience, not a punishment.

@Kafirah How do you know there's no punishment? There might be. It seems atheists DOMINATE this site, and they are depressing. Not you, necessarily, but in general. Death is The End, etc. How do THEY know? They talk with such certainty about it you'd think they got their Intel from a burning Bush. It's UNKNOWN. That's what an agnostic knows. It's a MYSTERY. Pesos might get punished. Murderers. Thieves. Whomever. Maybe not. No way of telling. But to sit there and say it's meaningless. It's the pits. Uou Just Can't Say That. No basis for that kind of pessimism. None. I'm just so happy with it the way it is I don't have room in my head for all that doom and gloom. I'm free. It's okay if I never reached my potential, if I made mistakes, because in the end it doesn't matter. If there's reincarnation the slate is wiped clean and you start again. If not, you're done. Or something else is true. No matter what, your life is your own, so just relax and enjoy the ride. I don't think evil people are enjoying anything. Could be wrong. Doesn't matter, not to me.

@Storm1752 Because it makes sense scientifically. Here's what I wrote to another member in this thread: [Our energy] is transformed from bio-electricity into heat. It is lost to the room and dissipates as thermal units until room temperature is achieved. After that it is part of the overall thermal energy of the room. Some gets absorbed by the surface the body is laying on, some by the coverings that are on the body, and the rest to the ambient temperature of the air in the room. Think of it like turning off a lamp. When you turn off a lamp, the electricity that charged the tungsten filament, that previously transformed electricity into heat and photons is no longer being produced to charge the tungsten, so it produces no more heat or light. The light goes where it goes, being absorbed by everything it touches and reflected back to us in the form of visible (and invisible) color. But the lamp, if it is turned off and never turned back on again, is effectively "dead", as it is no longer able to produce heat or light. The same goes for us. If we can't be revived, we are dead, and therefore produce no more energy to be converted into heat. Most people don't realize that we eat to convert the stored energy in food into calories, which we convert into bio-electricity and heat. We measure how much food we need by counting calories. Calories are units of heat.That's why it is appropriate to say you are burning calories.

Unless you believe in souls, which have no basis in reality outside of religious contexts, and have no scientific data to back up such a theory, this is what happens when you die. You are your thoughts. If your brain can no longer produce thoughts due to lack of energy, you are effectively, and for all intents and purposes, no longer existent. You cease to be. Simple. Elegant. Q.E.D. I know the thought of an afterlife is comforting, but it is, as far as anyone will ever know, wishful thinking. Pure and simple. And there is no reason to believe otherwise. Literally zero reason to assume there might be an afterlife simply because we had a life at all. It's not doom and gloom. It's facing and accepting reality. Some cannot imagine that they will simply stop existing. I get that. It's scary at first. But no scarier than imagining what it was like before you were born.

@Kafirah I don"t believe in 'souls' in the Judeo-Christian-Muslim sense. Don't be ridiculous. But do we have finer, more etheric bodies on other 'planes' of existence? Other dimensions our five senses and our instruments cannot yet detect? I don't know. Do you? And what about the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics? Energy cannot be created or destroyed? If you can't rule it out, it might not be probable, or even have a fifty percent likelihood, but you can't dismiss it out of hand.
On the other hand...

@Storm1752 First, I am not suggesting you believe in souls, that belief is ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as the belief in reincarnation, which is akin to recycling souls. Second, the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics only applies to closed systems. Outside of closed systems (i.e. open systems) Entropy sets in (i.e. Heat Death/dissipation) The heat escapes into a room from a single source (i.e. a dead body) is not a closed system. Third, I never said it the energy was destroyed. I said it was converted to heat, as most energy eventually and inevitably is. When the batteries in your flashlight die, where did the energy go? It was converted to heat in the form of photons (i.e. radiation). When you eat a cheeseburger, where do the calories go? To fuel your body. Stop eating and your body dies because it no longer has the fuel to burn to produce bio-electricity to keep your organs functioning. The energy of a person is dependent on it's continuous refueling. If the supply stops, so too does the person. There is no evidence whatsoever that any sort of spiritual energy exists, and even if there were, how would it keep from dissipating or being converted to thermal units once the body is done converting it for its own uses? It wouldn't. It would dissipate into the room as heat. It's last conversion. But the energy needed to ambulate isn't you. as I said, you are the sum total of your thoughts and memories. Without bio-electricity to power your brain, you are no more. Like data trapped in a dead laptop dropped in a vat of acid, your brain will become corrupted by micro-organisms, and any chance of data recovery will be lost, and you along with it. Like Alzheimers, you don't get back what you've lost. Nor does the information go anywhere. It's gone because it can't be recovered. It's just gone, and to bullshit yourself into believing otherwise is, well, a bullshit thing to do, IMO.

5

Having to deal with all the nincompoops that don't just see the obvious. Now I am used to it. They are still morons however. I'm not judgemental about this, no not me.

4

The bullying, harassment, and flat out hatred I received in my community

4

I was raised I was raised Christian . I beleieved with all of my heart that god was real and that I’d see lost loved ones and friends again after death. So when they died it cheered me up knowing I’d see them again ( or so I thought at the time ) . I prayed and went to church got the motivation speeches every Sunday and thought I was well on my way to going to heaven . However making a long story short I did my research , started wondering why I never actually physically felt this spirit . Allso realized I didn’t even agree with half what the Bible says yer went along with it so I wouldn’t burn in Hell after death . I came to a conclusion that Jesus and god were fiction and so was the Bible . I litterly almost cryd when I came to the realization all my hopes and dreams of reconnecting with lost loved ones a crashing down . My fear of death went up as well knowing it’s all just end and no afterlife was possible . I truly felt alone . Sometimes i regret adding it all up and knowing the truth now . Sometimes I think it’s a beautiful thing . I’m now fascinated with science ( finding out how the world really was made ) . I live my life more now tho instead of wasteing it becus I don’t wanna piss god off . I’m more myself now becus I don’t live to please if I live to please myself . It has its pros and cons buddy 😉

You have no idea if there is some sort of God or afterlife or NOT! I personally don't believe in God, but there's always the possibility SOME sort of "god" exists. Similarly, there may be reincarnation; plenty if circumstantial evidence for that. You're just another type of idealist if you make absolutist claims like that.

Well, you can always go back to believing...what difference does it make? Or, believe there's an afterlife. Hey, there MAY be! There MAY be a God, for all you know! Prove there isn't! Quit sweating it! No big deal!

@Storm1752 It's possible that unicorns exist... they are just horses with a horn, after all... but I have seen zero evidence that they might exist. Same thing for gods. Zero evidence, circumstantial or otherwise, that can't be explained with more mundane, natural, and elegant means. You seem like you still WANT to believe and are trying to justify your want by moving the goalposts because you simply can't let go of religion. You said earlier that you are 100% convinced there is no hell. That same feeling is exactly how atheists feel about gods... and more than likely for the same reasons as those that led you to your feelings about hell. I find it incredible that you can't see the parallel connection in your own reasoning.

@Kafirah I can see the parallels. I'm anti-THEIST, but not anti-DEIST. I would change the definition of "God" to say something like, "That concept which includes those things of a scientifically-provable nature which would account for the existence of the physical universe, which we do not yet have the ability, the power, the right instrumentation, or sufficient knowledge, to at the present time detect, explain, account for, or comprehend."

@Storm52 Your argument "prove there ISN'T a God" is the most specious and intellectually vacant possible. It isn't up to me to prove your negative but it IS incumbent on believers to prove their positive assertion. To use your argument, prove that I'm wrong.

4

I would agree that the hardest thing for me (at first, for awhile) was the weight of the realization of how wrong I had been the whole time I'd been participating in a religion that was obsessed with right-ness. It's rather like viewing yourself as cultured and then finding out you're a rube.

But I think this is unavoidable. Religion (especially of that sort) is a tremendous ego inflation and terribly self-centered. That's one of the things that keeps you in it; you sense on some level that the faith supports your whole carefully cultivated self-image as virtuous, kind, and loving, and if you leave the faith you'll find out that you're nothing special, and maybe even an asshat in some ways. And that intuition is almost 100% correct.

The good news is that once you start dealing in reality you can reconfigure yourself and your thinking. It's an effort, and you fight with all sorts of emotions (at one point, I realized I was rapidly becoming everything I'd always hated in others!) but if you're even modestly self-aware and conscientious, your self-image and reality will come into much better alignment. You'll have far healthier interpersonal boundaries, in both directions. It's all good.

But for a long time, I likened it to prying religion out of my head with a crowbar.

4

Nothing hard about being who I've been since birth.
The best part was not trying to go along to get along and just being open
about it.
When I was a teenager, I actually enjoyed telling people just to get their
reactions.

Lol, I did that too as a teenager. I once got pushed off a dock into the river for saying that to a devout Christian friend ?

@PennyBerry Some christian, some friend. Gotta love that whole "turn the other cheek" thing.
I never had anyone try to get physical with me, but I've definitely gotten into a few shouting matches.

4

I was born like this

4

I can imagine how tough that may be but I've been an atheist since 11 (or at least skeptical), so I've been spared that grief. The hardest thing to accept is knowing how UNspecial we become when we die. But while we're here, in the grand scheme of the universe (or at least our stellar neighborhood), we are very special beings indeed. Thus, you better enjoy this existence cuz you only get to do it once for a sliver of a time per universal lifetime.

3

That I'm surrounded by idiots.

3

My greatest fear was that my religious friends would see my name here or the icon on my phone.

3

The infuriating entitlement issues of xtains....

3

Nothing.

3

You nailed it for me, too, just add the loss of friends who would not accept you even as a friend if you didn't believe in god.

Who cares? They're ignorant idiots!

3

No problem for me, exactly the opposite, I became and felt free.

3

For me it was an existential crisis that lasted for five years. In that time I studied many religions, philosophies and ideas. Finnaly, I embraced nihilism and began to forge my own understanding and meaning for life.
The goal is to learn, to see, to know and to understand.

Nihilism is like a porcupine. It can't be embraced. You don't know sh*t. You're agnostic.

@Storm1752 Aggressive much? I’m an atheist who believes there is no inherent purpose in life, therfore I create my own purpose.

@RandyMoose Sorry, I meant that to say, 'anything.' It's very possible life has no meaning; on the other hand maybe it does, we just don't know what it is. It sure feels like it has meaning. To us, individually.

@Storm1752 I think this topic is an issue for you somehow. I was reading this thread in interest and you're all over it - telling people they do not feel how they state they feel.

Perhaps you need to take these adults at their word?
Most of us know precisely what we do or don't believe about religion and any gods existence.

Remember everyone defines Agnostic and Atheist in their own fashion.

@RavenCT Right. Excellent point. I was up early and got on a roll. Sorry. I wasn't addressing your question; I was off on a different tangent, different "issue." I'll try to do better.

3

Absolutely nothing.

3

The permanence and inevitability of death.

I suppose that would discomfit many, but for some reason I didn't mind it. I think on some level I never fully bought that the afterlife was more important than this life, and in any case I'd always lived this life like it was the one that mattered.

You can't really mourn the loss of something you never actually had. Plus, as I've aged, I came to see that mortality is a comforting certainty, a blessing to someone who has lost a lot in life ... to know that the bleeding stops at some point. I have taken similar comfort in the loss of loved ones, to know they are at least beyond the reach of their suffering. If I had to mourn them so they could be at peace finally, so be it.

I regard life like a movie. No matter how well produced and directed and written and acted it is, no matter how artistic the cinematography, no matter how compelling the whole thing is, you don't want a movie that never ends, or even one that's much longer than a couple of hours. At some point you just want to pee and go to bed. And if the movie forces you to see things you don't choose to see, and that you can't unsee, maybe you don't want it to last even that long.

3

I don’t think there was a hard thing. there was nothing, really, other than a feeling of having wised up.

2

I didn't become an Atheist, I always was one. As a child I expected to be lied to by adults.

2

That just as many atheists are assholes as believers are assholes! Especially the atheists who call themselves "Libertarians" and those who supported Trump!

I don’t know if you could make a statement that covered all atheist trump supporters? And, the same for atheist Libertarians, can they all be ‘out in left (right) field?’

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