Same here--no one from this area seems to respond

Tony80223, I counted 20 people in your Nearby category. Have you made contact yet? Just wondering. I am not here for dating but have made lots of contact just by sending emails to people who strike my fancy. I love funny, erudite writers and/or people with interesting point of views. Strangely enough, many of them live in Australia. Wishing you luck in your search.

It's always a crap shoot, I think messaging someone you find interesting is a good start. If they respond your off to the races. LOL

For distance meetings I have suggested virtual road trips, picnics and cinema visits. See "Passions"

To dream the impossible dream does not destroy hope.

I think that you will need time, especially if you want to meet agnostic type people. They are the minority, the real minority! More and more people are showing up in my area, but I am moving. So there you go! When I get back to New Mexico, I hope to find some agnostics there. I have made some friends back in NM, but they are not agnostics, but neither are they real religious, compared to this area.

I did recently-spenttime with a fellow site member. Locally no. Still up for meeting others. Will relocate if Imeet right guy.

I am about to experiement with their groups feature and see if I can build a group in my area of people interested in just "doing stuff." Singles, couples, no matter. But would be nice to have a local social group of people smart enough to have discarded the big lie.

Since I just moved from Texas to northern New Jersey, we are completely starting over. So, hopefully I can turn this place into a tool to help out.

From personal experience, it usually goes something like this:

1. If you message someone, and they respond, you start a conversation. These conversations either: a) Grow, and branch out (you have to be patient, this has a lot of "lateral movement" ) or b) Wither, and vanish (it happens, so be prepared).
2. At some point, you typically wind up talking on the phone. I can't say why there is so much resisitance to real-time communication, but I guess people feel safer in chat. Usually, a lot more ground gets covered here, because the information exchange density is higher. My advice at this point, is-if there's something that is potentially a negative (your weight, the lines on your face, the fact that you're older than Moses, whatever) this is the time to be open with it. Just texting is too far removed from the everythingness of reality, and such things won't really "take" if mentioned so soon. People don't self-edit so much in real time.
3. So, if things go well in a certain way (and they won't most of the time, and that is simply life, my friend) you may decide to meet in real life. And, as paradoxical as it sounds, that is just the beginning. Because now you're actually interacting like humans. On the plus side, meeting someone in person has a much higher chance of turning into "something"-a friendship, an affair, a journey. But, not to be a kill-joy, it's only say 10-25% instead of 1% (the online world is brutal, in its own way).

Personally, I wish the odds were better. On the other hand, it's certainly possible to text maybe hundreds of people in a week, and can you imagine the confusion if EVERY SINGLE ONE was a "hit"? Our brains are only capable of maintaining a certain amount of active connections at a time (perhaps as few as 100 "casual" connections, and probably only 10-20 "strong" connections).

Another thing is, people are full of fear. We SAY we aren't, but let's be honest-we are vulnerable creatures, and being hurt sucks. And we protect ourselves, even at the cost of missing some things which might be GREAT. And you cannot control what other people do, so the best strategy I can offer is: master your own fear. Be who you are, and if the world does not respond, hey, it's not your fault.

I've just joined this week and am already arranging to meet someone for coffee and a chat next week when I go away. I guess it depends on your personality type and ability to travel?

I remember meeting with one of my mail order customers many years ago. She had flown in from Arizona to St. Louis to meet me. There was a science fiction convention going on that weekend.

She and I had corresponded a lot, and there were lots of hints on her part about something serious coning from the meeting.

Back then, I weighted over 100 pounds more than I do now. I told her I was overweight, but apparently she overlooked that.

We spotted each other from a distance. I could see her mouth the words "Oh...my...god..." Yeah, I made a good impression.

"Just so you know, I have a boyfriend back home" was one of the few things she said to me that weekend.

If someone local wants to meet me, I'm fine with that. I don't expect anything of it.

If it's a long distance meeting, there is a simple formula: the amount of disappointment increases exponentially as the miles in distance increase.

remember we are the few amongst many. we are conecting on here which is a good start.

I'm in the UK. Not many neighbours on here but I don't have a problem with it. Just start chatting.

At least you are in an actual city, lol. I live in a town of 10k people.

Start by talking, I have yet to find any friends on here myself, but that just takes time

Maybe try to get a group together to do an activity?

You certainly can PM people to suggest it and see if there is any interest.

Good luck!