@1of5

Same thing.

a very insightful reply. thank you.

Yes, very insightful. I've never read anything that comes this close to describing the reality of my life.

great post, I see similarities within my own story. I learned long ago in my preteen years that my ability to observe and predict behavior of myself and others had power. In my youth I had influenced and played with others emotions to rather horrible ends (for them). That experience changed me, I never did it again.

Instead I attempted to help those around me in warning them of the conciquences of their actions or words before they bumbled or purposely chose the act that would hurt them or others.

Over time, this alienated me from my peers. I had a choice, remain objective and outside. Or keep my observations and predictions to myself and let chaos ensue.

Eventually, I just kept my internal dialog to myself. Never truly showing who I am for the depths of my thoughts or passions. Because every time I have people turn away, or just don't understand what I try to share.

I can say, that at a point in my life I was not only sexually frustrated (though hello masterbation). But strongly angry at the opposite sex. Mixed singles, flirtacious actions or words, and the bitter deep and hateful rejections, woah.

I had witnessed and supported Friends and family who's whole lives and livelihood were stripped away. The ex-partner given a comfortable life while the male slave had to work two jobs and live in his car to keep up payments

I saw (see) them struggle and how unbalances the exchange is. You could come to resent this dynamic and the underlining exploitation.

In the dating years of my life the consistent pattern I saw was exploitive. Men pay for everything, don't even suggest paying dutch ever. Bride then with gifts and trips to get physical sexual rewards. Everything has a catch, a qualifier, a condition to sex (or what might pass as love). Pay for her rent, pay for her food, pay for her car, generally chose to default to her needs (even if it is paying for a nice evening over paying your college loan).

And if she gets bored, or you don't keep raising the stakes?

She'll drop you in a heart beat for a new John. She'll trade up to a man with more money, better car, or a larger dick.

At some point I just could not deal with the emotional and financial ruin of it all.

I quit dating cold turkey and focused on being single. To better myself, to grow and learn and to let go of the resentment, anger and hurt.

Now, I have zero expectations, enjoy the moment, and see where an interaction takes me and what it might blossom into.

I also have a quick response to and means of detection for the exploiters, the using conwomen and shut them down to save my calm and finances.

Oddly enough, I have been studying a series of video blogs from a obviously christain, misogynistic conservative that details sociologic standards I haven't understood my whole life. The scenarios he describes make perfect sense now. The observations I've seen or experienced confused me. And now, listening to his stories the make more sense.

I don't agree with much of it, as most are rather negative or harmful. But, sadly show the socital psychoses of man and women. It goes back to my young preteen life and that may never grow past the mental or emotional level their whole life.

Maybe one or more my love me back someday. or some my fall into my life, or they won't. And for me, I am ok with either it happening or it never does.

Until then I keep myself entertained and keep loving myself.

@RobertFoley Dude, if you are choosing women who expect you to "pay for a nice evening over paying your college loan" or trade you in for "a man with more money, better car, or a larger dick" then honey, you are choosing the wrong women. Don't blame others for what you do to yourself.

They not only believe they are entitled to sex, but they believe they are entitled to the most beautiful women. That's why most of them are sexually frustrated. They're fixated on surface looks, they go after women who are themselves utterly shallow and so will only respond to the male model type. They can't figure out that there is more to women and attraction than surface looks. Then they get all upset they can't get laid, then they egg each other on, until all women are evil and deserve to be raped and killed and women aren't really human anyway. These idiots don't deserve any kind of sympathy, they deserve to have law enforcement tailing them.

@RobertFoley I said I have empathy That doesn't mean I condone blaming women. Men don't own the honor of getting a bad financial deal after divorce. Low income single mom here with a mortgage. Im sorry but don't blame your friends bad divorce for your inabilities. I do have empathy for socially awkward in dating, like I said That does not mean I condone the types of stuff spread by incel.

@CommonHuman Yes I realize Incel is bad. I was operating on the assumption the reader knows the basics. That is how extremist groups work. They all bond over some painful thing, then they feed off each other until it is something else altogether.

I don't apologize for having basic empathy. Understanding what makes people join hate groups is a good thing.

@MsAl Agreed, this perception was wrong. I'm not defending it at all and honestly feel personally ashamed I lived mentally in this space for a few years of my life.

It wasn't until I became homeless and reconnected with my parents that I realised all of the hate and anger I was projecting was actually hate of myself.

My story is that I am not that person anymore and will never again return to it. I've realized how to love myself. But I've also learned to observe and accept people for who they are (at the time). Every story has multiple points of view and I'm consistently reminded of this in my professional and personal life.

@RobertFoley That's so true. When we start seeing people as less than human or stop having any sympathy for their problems we lose the ability to see what the problem is about or how to fix it. Dehumanizing people pushes them farther away and doesn't give them permission to change their minds and come back. If you label someone as a worthless piece of shit it guarantees they will never see your side. It solidifies their stance. It makes the problem harder to solve. It is a simplistic and unintelligent way to look at the world.

When many people see something "evil" they take a loud and opposite stance to show everyone how they are different than that and better. Its important to call out wrongdoing but blindly dismissing groups of people doesn't work. I prefer to pick problems apart and figure out what makes and fuels them rather than simply condemning people.

And don’t forget how we ‘feminazis’ have emasculated these poor fuckheads.
They aren’t INVOLUNTARILY celibate: just so reupulsive in their beliefs and treatment of women that nobody in her right mind would voluntarily fuck them. I’m proud to be a Stacey in this case. They don’t EVER deserve my attention!

It goes well beyond that. Many of them are emotionally or mentally disturbed or damaged. They often gather in online forums and, among other things, talk about hurting or raping women.

@MST3K yup. Male privilege to do what they want to women.

I agree, many of them also want gorgeous females to call their own. They set out to only capture the females of 'high-value'. they're trying to get women that are out of their league, and we all have to deal with that to a certain point. The red pill men no doubt say Donald Trump is their savior. He's a fat ugly Rich dude that was capable of buying an attractive younger wife who he refers to as a fine piece of ass.

Many of them are not nice people. From the Wikipedia article about "Incel":

Discussions in incel forums are often characterized by resentment, misanthropy,[1] self-pity,[10] self-loathing,[11] misogyny,[12] racism,[12] a sense of entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against sexually active people.[8][9][13][14][12] The American nonprofit Southern Poverty Law Center described the subculture as "part of the online male supremacist ecosystem" that is included in their list of hate groups.[15][16]

I read that article.

@Bigwavedave that guy was an absolute misogynistic troll.

@Green_eyes worried about that one myself.

Truth!

Greg nailed it.

I think it’s more basic than personal development not occurring to them. It never occurs that they should offer anything to a partner or potential mate because they don’t see others, especially women, as human beings with their own needs and feelings.
The behavior is consistent with narcissistic personality disorder. An exaggerated sense of importance and achievement, a sense of entitlement, lack of empathy and a tendency to view others only in relation to them self, that is, to see others as existing only to meet the needs of the narcissist/incel.

@A2Jennifer These things go hand in hand, although it they are not mutually exclusive. It is possible for them to be narcissistic and never take time for personal development, or one of these things. An exaggerated sense of self worth seems unlikely, I believe this is just a mask worn to protect themselves from self loathing, it is the symptom not the cause.

@GregM I actually didn’t say exaggerated self-worth, but exaggerated sense of importance and achievement, so believing that their own needs should be important to others (even strangers) or believing that their marginal accomplishments give them the “right” to get what they want from others.
These things, as you pointed out, often compensate for low self-worth

You know why women rarely have a Harley? Because we could care less about them. I looked. Your bio is fine, could be longer if you have hobbies? Pictures are cute. But, two of the three posts are porn, which says immature. It’s fine, just right now two of three. Add different subjects. I only took the time to say anything because you have what it takes to do well!

@Hathacat maybe it's the part of the country I live in, but it seems that every woman who posts on dating sites wants a guy with a Harley. I put my Yamaha down decades ago.

And thank you sincerely for reviewing my profile. I need and accept constructive feedback, and you are the only person to provide any.

@BitFlipper One time I had spent a few hours with a man going for walks, and then we went to an arboretum and he made me dinner. We hadn't held hands, or kissed, or anything, though we had hugged goodbye, but it was the kind of hug I could give my father. Then he asked me to spend the night. I didn't exactly react with horror, but one is generally more successful if you build up to these things a bit and develop some desire and chemistry before dropping the question. I don't know if your experience is anything similar to that, but you might think about your approach. You have to walk before you can run.

@BitFlipper I am from your area and I know of zero women who want a guy with a Harley. More the opposite.

@Stephanie99 thank you for taking the time to comment.

I can't take responsibility for the arboretum guy and his behavior makes me cringe. I am just the opposite. I wait for the woman to show some interest.

I don't think women can imagine what decades of rejection can do to one's self esteem, and one's ability to take emotional risks. It's dehumanizing.

As I write this I'm thinking I should message you privately.

I deeply regret what happened to you there. You deserve better.

@BitFlipper PM me anytime you have questions, or want anothers perspective. I am not on the market so won't "read" anything into it. I did like the bike pic as that implies exorcise!

@Hathacat yes, I exorcise the demons of inactivity

@BitFlipper On the contraray, many women have been in abusive relationships and know very well what it feels like to your self esteem destroyed.

@BitFlipper That would depend on what you mean by "show some interest". If their response to your own interest is to react in horror, perhaps there is some misinterpretation going on?

@Stephanie99 just read your comment again. The horror reaction. Two years ago a close female friend, after sharing many very intimate details of her sex life, casually mentioned that I was "not her type". I told her that I was disappointed about that. She reacted by getting online and publicly humiliating me, then cut off all communication. That's what I mean by reacting with horror.

Oh, my!

Your experience is hard to understand, but I believe it. Never in my life has any woman tried to hook up with me. The only success I've experienced has required the application of large amounts of alcohol.

@BitFlipper alcohol is usually the reason women want to hook up with me, I think it helps that I don't immediately treat them like some kind of object, so they feel safe around me, and if they are just trying to have some fun then the next step is kind of obvious.

The use of the word "retarded" shows a definite delay in comprehension. Nobody uses that word anymore...it's 2019.

@ReadyforaChange Balderdash! no one else says fire retardant? I'm actually using the word grammatically correct here, meaning to hold back or prevent development. I don't care if anyone doesn't like it!

The right to offend and be offended should be a constitutional right, that way people will expect it and won't cry whenever it happens anyways.

@Happy_Killbot If you "don't care" why do you bother to reply?

@ReadyforaChange It's really simple: Why should I let you, or anyone else think they can silence me? By suggesting that there are certain things that should not be said for whatever reason, you are infringing upon my first amendment rights, and that is unacceptable, and something I do care about.

Context is also important, in this case what I don't care about is people's feelings getting hurt by my language.

@Happy_Killbot It IS really simple...doing what I have to do for pathetic people with nothing better to do with their lives but annoy others. Reporting your pic for inappropriate content, then blocking you. Buh bye little man.