It has been a very gloomy birthday. Both weatherwise and in sentiment. I ponder the meaning of life and ask why do people even remember or place importance on birthdays. I am not happy that I am getting older in the confines of time. It just means more health isses and more loneliness. What is the point of looking forward? What is the point of celebrating when you don't feel like celebrating? Quite literally I survive merely to fight for human dignity in life. The right to medical care, the right to food and water. The right to love who they love and their right to believe or not believe in a deity. I know these are daunting but noble causes yet I feel quite unsatisfied and depressed. I hope you all find happiness as it has escaped me for so long.
When I was your age, I hadmy best years ahead of me. My most productive time was from the age of 40 - 60 and I loved those times and the friendships they afforded. Even at the age of 81 and with increasing health concerns, I do not feel the malaise you express.
I totally igmore my own birthdays, very few people know when mine is and they are sworn to secrecy. Last year not a single call or comment so I am succeeding. I spent my 18th, 21st, 30th, 40th, and 50th alone, I don't mean just on my own, I never saw or spoke to a single person on those days as I was living away. This year (60) will be no different, there is a Pink concert on and all I know are going away for it. But that is birthdays, normal days are good.
I celebrate the little things every day, my life really only consists of little things. This morning I went out, fed the chickens, boring, but the sun was shining on a fish pond and all the fish were going crazy waiting for food, shimmering in a little light, it has been raining for days. Just noticed, the wind brought down many large bright red passionfruit, so will take them to the people at work tomorrow. Life is actually good.
That said, I don't celebrate anything. The highlight of my day is a beach walk later, no swimming, the beaches are terrible, even muddy after so much rain, but you never know what may have washed up.
These hours and days where we feel down, are still our life and life is all we have and we can make choices on how we spend that time. My ex wife watches TV, even if there is only crap on. She will complain there is only crap on, she could go outside, or go read a book, but she watches TV.
When I feel despondent, I go and do something else, I got for a walk, dig some weeds, make a coffee and read a book, pretty much anyhting that is even slightly more enjoyable than what I was doing.
Well then, un-happy birthday . There's no law that says you must celebrate the day you were born. I don't always - have to be in the right frame of mind. There may be no point in looking forward, unless you work to change things. You can you know - it's all in your power. But if you believe that's not possible - it won't be. Not saying it's easy either , to change direction, but it's definitely not impossible.
And I'll leave you with this thought : there are so many people who have died already, often way too young before they were barely off the ground in life, that would have given anything to have the privilege of living to be your age, or mine, or older still. Growing old can be a very good thing ...
First, I would like to say, you need some kind words today...the birthday may not matter all that much as a day, but your loneliness does. Your picture tells me, that you want to matter to others (and you do), but the most important person that you need to matter to, is yourself! I read your profile, you have interest and dreams, so take matters in your capable hands and make something happen for just you, at this moment! You need some tender loving care for yourself. Then, you can get out with other people and put more adventure into your life. It sounds like you might have a little depression going on? If so, get some walking in...at least 40-50mins.each day. Get out and claim your spot in this life and give to it...what only you have to offer. 'Life is a journey, not a destination.' So where are you in your journey? I care...
My 61st birthday is almost here and I don't disagree with your assessment, except that I don't find it depressing. Don't find it thrilling either, but ... I don't know, this isn't exactly unexpected. Life is hard (and sometimes gives you a breather), people often suck (and often don't). Life is not a rational proposition -- it's absurd -- but humor can be found in absurdity too.
But I'm not here to judge or psychoanalyze you. Just to be present and bear witness. I could produce a fairly hair-raising list of Bad Things that have happened to me, that I feel have diminished and exhausted me -- a different list than yours, but ... I partake of the human condition just like you and so we share that at least. I genuinely wish better days ahead for you, and acceptance for the years behind you.
Whether we're gay or straight or anything else, connecting is difficult. So is finding happiness, which is somewhere in you, not something you can obtain. Find your happiness, even if it is very small, as others have written. Move where cannabis is legal so you don't have to feel guilty or worry about being arrested. Be with other people, even volunteering in order to think outside yourself. I have found that I recognize goods things when I stop searching for it. Have a good birthday. We on this site are happy you are here and still "here."
Humanity is a work in progress. Look back into the history of North America and you can see the progress that has been made. We humans are a complicated lot, we’ll take three steps forward and then a step or two backwards. We make mistakes then take what seems like forever to correct them.
Happiness is a choice and there are so many examples of people who live with chronic pain, debilitating disabilities, and extreme hardships that have chosen to be happy rather than feel sorry for themselves. For others that have a medical condition of depression, many choose to get treatment and find happiness in the little things in life, like cracking a joke that brightens someone’s day or helping a friend carry something that lightens their load. Little things that impact another’s life can bring so much happiness to a life.
Celebrating a birthday well…that’s a personal choice. So I will wish you a Happy Birthday in the hopes that you will see the potential tomorrow.
I am happy , I live simply too, though I am in a good community and there is always a good buzz around the place - sorry you are not getting your needs met- are there sny community groups to join because soemtiems just getting out a bit blows the cobwebs away- I am so looking forward ot being seventy soon I don't know why just its a big number and I am tickled pink by it - I do hope something turns up for you sometime soon.
I tend to get very depressed at my birthdays too. It seems like a reminder of how little I've accomplished in life. Not many people even acknowledge my birthday unless they get a reminder from Facebook (which is a bit lame). I can't really remember having a "happy" birthday anytime in my adult life.
Hmm...sounds like you're thinking too much. When that happens, I head outdoors for a hike, turn on music, watch a funny Netflix show, or take herbs that raise the mood. Also, since you're male, it's your role to make the first move..ask women to get a cup of coffee, etc.
I read that CBD oil not only can cure seizures, and other health issues, but it also elevates the mood and is legal most places in the US.
By the way, on my own birthday, I buy myself something expensive I wouldn't usually buy, and treat myself to a special birding trip. For instance, one year I bought myself a sewing machine, another year, a Canon camera upgrade, etc. Since I love to design and sew clothes and bird photography is my main hobby, both gifts contributed to my happiness.
Please, see a doctor and get on an SSRI now. They do work. I suffered from chronic depression my whole life. Those meds saved my life. I am now thrilled with my life, I'm old and haven't connected with a man in 5 years. Now facing the fact that I will be alone the rest of my life. Not enough income, lousy job.
I just had a birthday 3/01 and it was miserable. I have no family at all. Who will take care of me when I can't take care of myself.
You are not alone, my friend. Joanna
My mother told me that her 60th birthday was a very difficult and depressing one for her and so as I approached my 60th, I wondered if I would feel the same way. I did not - 60 turned out to be just another number.....BUT as I approached 70, I began to realize what she was talking about. I think its a different number for each of us - but at some point the realization that 30 year mortgages and buying really good shoes so they will "last" becomes sort of a sad joke. It made me think a lot about my past - the good and the bad - and I realized that I had been fortunate enough to experience a very wide variety of things - have traveled and visited a lot of places and mets lots of interesting people along the way. We have been conditioned to think that each and every day must be the "best one ever"....I now realize that some days are just "okay"......and that's OK! We don't necessarily need to always be searching for happiness in order to be content. Try to stay in the moment and remember that you are part of a very large "club" whose theme song is What's It All About, Alfie?
Birthdays can be hard, and I truly feel your pain, but let me give you some perspective. My 19th brithday I was in Basic Training in the Army. That was the day we went to Tear Gas training. I spent many birthdays away from family and loved ones while in the Army, and because of my dysfunctional family I might not have even gotten a card. I worked night shift on more than one birthday.
So fast forward to today. I'm 60, divorced, haven't had a real date in probably a year and haven't had a relationship in much longer. I work too many hours, and I live with two cats. My kids are doing well but busy in their own lives.
Yes, I am familiar with depression, anxiety, insominia, and panic attacks. Yes, I have toyed with an exit strategy, but I'm more afraid of pain and putting my kids through pain than I am of sticking around. So I took a look at my life and removed what was not working and focus on what makes me happy and gives me peace. I found some groups of atheists/agnostics and I particpate enough to satisfy my need for other people. I cut off several people that were not worth the effort to maintain the relationship.
My life isn't perfect, but it's what I've got. And in the long run I'm better off than lots of people. I frequently ask myself if my problems are first world problems. There are two other guidelines I use. One is a line from Dr. Phil, "how's that working for you?" I ask myself that frequently and it it isn't working I work on changing it. And that is my other guideline. People only change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing. What is it in your life that is causing you pain, and how can you fix it. That was the criteria I used when I decided on divorce. It hasn't been easy post divorce, and I traded one set of problems for another, but it was my choice.
Hang in there, what I have learned is that nothing lasts forever. The sun will come out another day. You don't know how strong you are until the only option is to be strong. And my final cliche for you is that tough times really don't last, but tough people do. They may be cliches, but that doesn't mean they aren't true.
My birthday is on Christmas so yah I'm not the most jolly person- I have a black tree- nothing with Santa or nativity- and hate the music with a passion- as well a had a few negative things happen during that part of the year- but this last year my daughter was 8 months and that was my most favorite birthday just getting to watch her eyes light up and smile at me- I'm sorry your special day was shitty- believe that there are still good things waiting in your future
I so look forward to every birthday! The bad times in most of my earlier days, from severe illness to systematic abuses are gone and now is wonderful! I sometimes think the crumminess of my previous 60 years are what cause me to be so happy now I would not wish them on anyone butdo have a hard time understanding those who miss the importance of every day in peace& sunshine