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A follow up: What makes you a terrible partner?

Yes, we have to ask. If you don't know, what has someone told you their reason for not wanting to be in a relationship with you?

For me, I tend to be negative. I don't even realize I do it as it is the way I was raised. I am not proud of it, just being honest.

Can you be the same?

Akfishlady 8 Mar 16
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42 comments

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0

I've never asked why someone wanted to break up with me, things just didn't work out. One guy decided he'd rather live close to his grandson than stay in Nebraska, and I get that. One guy decided his stuff was too important to him and he couldn't afford to move it. I haven't had a relationship move very far forward in years.

As for the faults I know I have, I'm bossy, go figure right. I like my alone time. I tend to identify the elephant in the room. I sometimes cogitate on issues. I have immense patience until I want it NOW! And I think I snore, but I'm not sure, the cats don't complain.

10

I'm just too darn nice and perfect. However, my humility makes up for those short comings.

8

I don't like being talked at when I am reading... I read alot. I don't like being asked questions from other rooms - get up and go to the room I am in to talk to me. And no I don't need help in the kitchen.

@geko lol! If you can find me, give me a second to get to a good stopping point, then I would talk. πŸ™‚

8

I have a mean upper cut.

8

I have little to no tolerance for whining and self-pity.
That can lead me to be less than sympathic.

7

I am a loner and an introvert and prefer to be by myself most of the time, I have been single for 50 years and have lived alone for over 40 years. For those reasons alone, I do not consider myself to be a good partner. A good friend, absolutely, as I love you as a friend. I enjoy spending time with a woman when I have the opportunity to do so, which isn't very often.

this might describe me minus a couple years

6

Meh, I started to write a list and realized there wasn't enough space here.

Lol!

LOL

5

I can be negative (I like to say it is being realistically passionate) and don't show my emotions easily. I need alone time and actually prefer women who are independant, assertive and highly intelligent. I demand equality in financial matters and don't want to be nurtured. I want but not not need another, sometimes.

5

I have been told that I am negative and/or needy. I know my cynicism can be interpreted as negative. And as far as needy goes... I really like spending time with my partner, but I am ok with having our own space/time apart. I think sometimes people tend to see the things they dislike about themselves in others, and then accuse a partner or friend of being a certain way. It's kind of like that old saying, "The pot calling the kettle black." The reality is that there is always going to be things you don't like about someone. Hell, I spent fifteen years with the same woman, and there were things that she did that drove me crazy. But I accepted that that was just the way she was, and eventually it didn't bother me as much as it first did. When I learned to let go of trying to be in control of everything in my world, suddenly my world became much more pleasant. Focus on the positive. Life is short.

5

Constantly needing affirmation and attention. I have my own severe problems I cannot spend my entire relationship making you feel better. I am working hard on myself and I need my partner to help me do that instead of sucking out all my energy. I have very few spoons to start with, I need a partner who gives me spoons or at least space.

Another thing is not caring enough. I will NOT chase you. If you don't contact me then chances are after I text you a few times, but you never text first, I'm not going to keep trying. I only invest what you put in.

That right there would be what I put there. In my case at this stage in life I figure people should not need as much affirmation.

5

I don't like being controlled. I don't get along with neat freaks.

see we would clash

5

Same as you - negativity. Plus I get completely obsessed with my various projects.

Jnei Level 8 Mar 16, 2018

@Akfishlady I do try to make sure I'm there for my partner because as far as I'm concerned that's one of the things that makes relationships worth having in the first place. However, an interesting project is likely to take over my thoughts entirely, so I do occasionally need to be reminded - and then I'll drop it and "be there"!

4

I expect a partner to carry her own water, emotionally and financially. Isn't that called 'parity'?

4

Too much sex drive.

LOL

4

Ooooh!! I've heard that one too! But I still can't decide if it was because I am too negative, or they were too "Polly Anna" with no critical thinking skills?

3

I think peoples emotions are secondary. If something is important to me I'll say or do it regardless how it makes you feel. It's not that I don't care, i just care about something else more. I shoot first, apologize later.

I'm not a coddler. People have to be self-sufficient in some way. I don't want to babysit an adult every time he or she is upset.

I'll say things I don't mean for the sake of argument. A lot of people don't get im playing devils advocate. I'll argue something i don't agree with.

3

I like things my way, like decorations cuz most men have awful taste.

Most men and women don't know how to decorate.

@Sticks48 That's a matter of opinion.

@Presley1209 Yes and that opinion is what matters to me on this matter. πŸ™‚

3

I am impatient, and exepct a lot from the person I'm dating in the sense of communication and "being there" when we are together.

@MrLizard Thank you! Please spread the word! πŸ˜‰

@MrLizard The universe

@MrLizard Alas!

2

Disorganized and cluttery. Used to have a ridiculous libido but think that's past now, thankfully or not.

2

Getting into relationships with the wrong women. If it is the right person they love you for exactly who you are.

2

My future ex wife told me I was, now let me get this right, a 'Smelly, fat, lazy slob who didn't do anything'

I'm not going to dignify it with a response or explanation just thought I'd answer the question as posed πŸ™‚

Seriously laughed out loud!

2

I don't know the rules.

2

I travel for work, try to be sensitive but can’t cure all of my partners insecurities, master procrastinator and realistically enjoy being on my own in the water. Plus I think I really like being singleπŸ˜‰

2

Insufficently submissive, nobody likes a smart woman, want to much sex and touchy feely things, and I've got the good sense to get the hell out of there. That about covers it.

Kimba Level 7 Mar 16, 2018

Are smart woman that wants a lot of sex...? Sounds like a perfect woman to me!

I prefer a smart woman. Seems like the ones close to me are all materialistic nitwits...

2

I am too independent. I don't like when someone tries to control me. Emotionally, I can be needy and insecure. I also obsess about everything....I can't shut that off.

2

My previous partner wouldn’t have said I lacked vulnerability, and transparency. Hindsight and awareness are worth a lot.

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