Agnostic.com

25 5

Child's cruise ship death raises question: When should caregivers be charged?

The death of this toddler horrifies me. Why didn't the grandfather check first to make sure there was glass in the window?

With my daughter, I always checked for hazards and erred on the side of caution.

The grandfather's careless negligence is appalling.

"I held her up so she could pound on the window at hockey games," he said. It's dangerous and inconsiderate. I never let my daughter do that. Plus, someone has to clean the glass.

Your thoughts?

[nbcnews.com]

LiterateHiker 9 Oct 30
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

25 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

7

Hindsight is 20/20 and shit happens.

7

I do not think he is a criminal or a danger to society. He clearly had no intention of killing the child. So no.

I can't count the number of times my kids could have died, or any kids. It happens. It is very very sad. The amount of bloodlust and needing to punish someone for every thing that goes wrong is shameful. We are a very blame based society. It is wrong.

MsAl Level 8 Oct 30, 2019

Three kids of my own all made it to adulthood, but there were an handful of incidents where it could have ended tragically. Not to mention when the kids get older, and are playing in the neighborhood with other kids. Anyone here remember launching bikes off of plywood?

When my oldest was 12, he and a neighbor boy about 10, had a disagreement. It escalated, and ended only after the other boy managed to nail my son in the eye with a piece of mulch. My son was taken to the ER, and had a follow up with an opthamologist. Had several wood slivers removed, and a tear on the eyeball repaired. It could have been much worse. The insurance called me for weeks trying to get the ID of the child.

Just to be clear, I would NOT have sought litigation if my son had lost his eye. Shite happens. It could have been the other way around, or my sons fighting amongst themselves. Point is, they were of an age where constant supervision wasn't necessary, and at times...children fight.

It was his dad's watch. Sunday afternoon. A couple dozen kids running and playing outside. Boys and girls, siblings and friends, all riding bikes, enjoying tag or a game of ball.

It was an accident.

@linxminx exactly, that guy is destroyed, regardless. And I do think he could have prevented it.

6

Just wanted to share an anecdote that goes to people sometimes losing
their grip on a child.

When my nephew (now 17 and built like an NFL linebacker) was 2 months old, I was sitting on the couch in his parents' house, holding him.
He whipped his head around and caught me square in the jaw.
I literally saw stars, and the nickname "Sledgehead" was born.
I still call him that to this day.
If I'd been standing with him in my arms when that happened, I'm certain
I would have dropped him.

None of us were there when that child went through an open window.
I am extremely reluctant to condemn that brokenhearted grandfather
for being "negligent".

I'll never forget when my son Joseph, less than a year old, flew out of my arms like greased pig and did an end over end flip. WOW! ... ..Was I lucky I caught him on the way down. My wife and nephew both witnessed it. Shocked the hell out of all 3 of us. Happened in the blink of an eye

@twill Exactly my point. Kids are sometimes slippery little suckers.
They're also little Houdinis, but that's another story for another time.

@KKGator Precisely, when my daughter was a wee little one just starting to crawl, I went around the whole house taping up everything and anything that remotely could have been a hazard to her, the bloody house ended up looking like a deranged Paramedic had been let loose with rolls of Gaffer tape, etc, But still, one evening she managed to find, during her third episode of trying to walk, the ONLY drawer handle that I had missed, hit it and gashed open her forehead less than an inch above her left eye requiring 3 tiny sutures to close it.
10 days later I was back at the hospital with her after she had found a pumpkin seed that had managed to miss being put into the bowl with the rest and fell to the floor while I was preparing to make dinner, inserted it into her nostril and was giggling away as it moved up and down as she breathed.
2 hours of waiting in the Emergency room then she sneezed and the seed took flight across the room and again she giggled to see it happen.
Kids and 'mishaps' go hand in hand, in my opinion, we parents and care-givers can only be on our best alert when kids are around BUT we ARE NOT Superhumans.

@Triphid My younger sister stuck an aluminum screw from a window up her nose.
She was supposed to be sleeping, but she wasn't. She woke me up saying she had a "pebble" in her nose.
That required a trip to the ER.

4

There's nothing grandpa can say now that will sound correct after the fact. All we can do is to show some compassion.

4

This is so tragic it’s beyond words. Regarding banging on glass: This is what hockey fans who are lucky enough (or rich or connected enough) to have a front row seat do.The glass - actually plexiglass - protects fans from dangerous, speeding, flying pucks, is constantly subject to banging by fans, and is cleaned after every game. I’m not condoning the behavior, just saying it’s a routine part of the game of hockey. All told, just a tragic event. And yeah, grandpa shoulda been cautious. Poor man, poor parents. Awful.

4

What sort of punishment can compare to watching your grandchild die?

Probably none. Does that mean we only punish in the absence of remorse?

@Deb57 Why should he be punished, exactly?

@KKGator should we just give everyone a pass because "oops!"?

@Deb57 It was an accident. A terrible, heartbreaking accident.
It wasn't an "oops". No one has even said that.
Where's your ire for the cruise line having an open window, in a children's
play area, 11 stories up?

@KKGator Of course I think the window in the play area is a terrible idea, and if the family sues the cruise company, odds are good that they will get a chunk of money. But they won't get their baby back. Of course I believe it is tragic and sad and I do feel some compassion for Grandpa. I don't doubt he's being eaten up inside by his terrible decision. But the bulk of my compassion went out the window and plummeted eleven stories with the baby. I'm 99% sure Grandpa didn't mean to do harm, but the baby is just as dead as if he deliberately chucked her out that window. If I, through some level of negligence, were to drop the match that ends up burning down your home with all your pets in it, is your first thought going to be about how the tragedy made me feel? I'm really glad I don't have to be the judge who must pass sentence on Grandpa, because I am a soft touch and Grandpa's grief would touch me. But the baby is still dead, and Grandpa is the reason.

@Deb57 to make the analogy a bit closer lets say it's your house. Yes I'm going to feel sorry for you.

@MattHardy I think you missed the entire point. It makes sense to feel sorry for the person whose house burned down no matter who owns the house; less so, though to pity the arsonist.

4

As it's been said, having not been there I can't say but I can say, you didn't see there wasn't glass in that window? I wear corrective lenses I can always tell whether there's glass or not. And I do feel sorry for the whole family.

4

Such a sad story for all involved.....

4

This gets complicated fast.

3

It was a hard lesson in being more careful as a parent for sure.... but to be honest, I would be more forgiving of unintentional mistakes parents make rather than the intentional ones abusive breeders make.

3

Firstly, WHY were the windows in the Children's play area open in the first place?
Common sense WOULD tell anyone that children LOVE to climb and an open window IS a disaster waiting to happen where kids and heights are concerned.
Secondly, IT IS job of the Cruise Operators to ENSURE to the best of their abilities that ALL passengers are kept safe whilst on their ship so WHY, again, was the window open?
Thirdly, Granddad MAY have done what we see as a silly thing, BUT do we NOT all do silly things from time to time? IT was a preventable accident, entirely PREVENTABLE IF the Crew of the ship HAD paid DUE diligence to their job and ENSURED the window was both closed and locked.
I think ALL parents and Care-Givers know full well how young children tend to get over-excited and can squirm around like tiny tornadoes when being held in our arms and even a micro-second can become an eternity of struggling for the person trying to hold onto a squirming child.
Granddad will live the rest of his life with the loss and grief caused by that micro-second, no-one, even him, is a Superman, no-one can predict precisely what a child will do and when, NO he does NOT deserve to face Legal Court Charges and punishment, in my opinion, he WAS just being a what a Grandparent/Care-Giver is and should be, i.e. enjoying the company of his grandchild.
IT IS a very sad loss and an accident none-the -less BUT there was no evidence that it WAS a deliberate act of Negligence, etc, EXCEPT on the part of the Cruise Ship Operators WHO failed in their DUTY to ensure that this child WAS safe whilst aboard THEIR ship.

Yep.

3

I immediately felt like a heartless bitch when my very first reaction to that quote was, 'Wait, wtf, you're saying your actual goal was to let a toddler pound on the windows as if you were at a hockey game?? How incredibly rude!!'. Obviously, that's not my only reaction, but that gut reaction was loud.

As for this situation, I can only assume that there is a ton of CCTV footage that makes the charge sensible. Then again, I imagine the ambulance chaser the family hired had access to that footage, and still chose to proceed, sooo... Not really sure what to think, because I don't have all the facts.

In the general sense, I'm extremely reluctant to charge caregivers for terrible accidents without proof of intent. I once let my kid brother tumble off a slide - he cracked his head pretty good and while I still feel guilty for not anticipating it, I don't think I would have deserved a manslaughter charge if he'd been killed. Nor do I think my parents would have deserved one for expecting their teenager to watch over their younger child.

3

Do you remember michael jackson dangling (his) baby from a hotel room in Paris? Accidents happen... Remember Eric Clapton losing his son in NYC? What could go wrong may go wrong... Do not increase the Odds with Stupid Actions. A moment of Bad Judgement can cost a Life.

@linxminx Got you... I don't want to bring in if alcohol was involved. Inocent, senseless act. Tough moment for the family.

3

I don't know much about this incident and haven't seen any camera views. I did see the news report that said surveillance video was not released to the public but that the prosecutor filed charges after reviewing surveillance footage. There may have been negligence.

I really doubt it. I'm sensing an over-zealous prosecutor.

3

Story explains well how confusing this is.
Prosecutors have so much leeway....that is what makes them so powerful

@ Meersburg Castle in Germany about nine years ago. We were inside, about 40' up.
I had my 3 yr. old. Set him down on a window ledge and he took off for the window. Good thing that wall was four feet thick. I grabbed him in plenty of time. I don't remember if there was a glass there or not.
Still scared the shit out of me. Just a momentary lapse on my part.

twill Level 7 Oct 30, 2019
3

Accidents happen. I think too many people lose sight of that fact.
That's why they're called "accidents".

I don't think it's reasonable to arrest the grandfather.
He didn't intend for any harm to come to the child.
"Negligence" is a VERY subjective term, and as the article points out,
prosecuting it is extremely arbitrary.
I sincerely hope the charges against the grandfather are dropped.

2

I guess I'm going to go against the consensus here, but negligence and child endangerment are criminal acts. Remember the outrage over the Michael Jackson baby-dangling debacle. The only difference is the tragic outcome. Declaring this to be an accident seems to me to be a cop out. One is response for one's actions as well as their consequences.

This act was foolish and utterly pointless. In my opinion this is involuntary manslaughter, reckless endangerment, and child abuse. What possible reason could this demented bastard have for dangling a toddler 11 stories above a concrete pier. The only thing consistent about children is their unpredictability.

Again not to beat a dead horse, but their cannot be any sensible reason for this guy's actions. This was not an accident, it was a consequence of reckless, moronic behavior. This wouldn't be any different than if he'd killed someone "by accident" while trying to shoot an apple off their head with a shotgun.

JimG Level 8 Oct 31, 2019

I'm going to be unpopular for agreeing with you. There really is no margin for error and no learning curve when it comes protecting children.

@JimG

Agreed.

Not enough information for me to decide either way

@linxminx that's a tough question. A little fear isn't a bad thing. if Grandpa had had a little fear, maybe he would have been less inclined to put the baby in the open window. How do we measure the level of intention in a thing called unintentional injury and death? Do we just take Grandpa's word for it that he didn't mean to? Do we wonder if Grandpa may have been subconsciously resenting being stuck with baby while the rest of the family was in the jacuzzi drinking rum or something? Sure we assume Grandpa is just sick about the fact that he killed baby with his lack of basic caution and poor decision making, and most likely he is. But we can't read Grandpa's mind. Do we just give every killer a pass who makes this claim? I'm not outraged. As a matter of fact, I do feel sorry for grandpa. The consequences of his stupidity will probably haunt him for the rest of his life. I'm very glad I don't have to be the judge who sentences him, because I don't think I could, in good conscience, just let him walk away unpunished.A toddler died because of his carelessness. Carelessness is also abuse.

@linxminx we could start by not exposing them to unnecessary dangers for our own amusement. Again, how could you possibly justify holding a child over a 120' drop? I cannot by any stretch of the imagination conceive of any scenario where this is anything but recklessness that goes way beyond any semblance of reasonable behavior.

@linxminx I'm not judging him, I'm stressing why I feel he should be charged. If in light of evidence those charges don't hold water, so be it. I don't really care about your snarky slights or implications, but the truth remains there are plenty of precedents where people have been charged for unintended consequences. I'm done debating you. At this point your personal attacks show that you don't really have an argument.

@linxminx I'm not saying he's guilty of premeditated murder or that he's even a bad human being. I'm sure he feels awful, at least I'd expect him to, but emotions aren't at issue. The question is did he unnecessarily put a child in harm's way through carelessness. The fact that a child he was supervising fell 11 stories to her death is significant evidence.

What I've read that are supposedly his own words also indicate that he didn't even make a cursory check of the window nor did he, in my opinion take reasonable precautions to protect the child. If I put myself in his position holding a child up to pound on a window, for whatever reason, do I expect the child to thrash around and possibly slip from my grasp? I think that's a very strong possibility. Now even if I'm not 11 stories high, and the window is securely fastened, is there a reasonable expection that falling from my grasp could be injured, again I think there is.

Based on trying to see things from his perspective, I don't think what he did was sufficiently prudent. Again, charging him is far from convicting him; so let's see what happens when all the evidence is presented if this goes to court. For now, I'll be honest and tell you that if I were interviewed for jury duty in this case, it would be the defense who dismisses me.

@linxminx I won't stop it because I'm not wrong, and being bossy isn't going to get you the result you desire from me. The man caused a death. There are consequences for causing someone to die. Incompetence is not an excuse for getting away with causing a death. It's unreasonable to expect that.

@linxminx here's a little helpful hint about navigating social media: sometimes people are not going to agree with you no matter how much you argue with them or how pushy you get, and you'll just need to get over it. This is especially true when the issue is one containing a whole lot of ambiguity. Everybody participating in this conversation can express their opinion freely, and it's okay if we disagree, since none of of possess any actual decision making power over what happens to Grandpa. We can't really know what was going on here. While it's most likely that Grandpa just made a tragically poor error in judgment, it's not impossible that he saw the opportunity to make an annoying toddler's death look like an accident. We can't read his mind. My opinion comes, in part, from the fact that there has never been an instance in my life where I have escaped consequences for a poor decision. As a matter of fact, there have been many times that I suffered consequences from poor decisions made by someone other than myself. Consequences happen. If Grandpa is lucky, being haunted by his own horrifically poor decision may be the only one he suffers, but somebody died, and so that means it has to be investigated and conclusions must be drawn. As I mentioned before, I'm truly glad I have no actual control over the outcome of this particular case, because I'm pretty freaking angry at this reckless, negligent old man I've never met; and I could not be relied upon to make an impartial judgment.

2

I think that a parent or a grandparent should always be aware of possible dangers and not take any risks by assuming something is safe, without verifying the safety personally.

In this case, a window, whether open or closed, but higher than would be reachable by a child climbing up on something in the room, should not be assumed to be childproof without checking. Some responsibility lies on the caregiver.

Likewise in the cases noted regarding "forgetting" a child in a hot car, forgetting to drop them off at daycare, falls squarely on the caregiver in my opinion. A parent or grandparent should always double check, if "forgetting" is even a possibility.

I admit to being forgetful sometimes, I even joke about it, but because I know this about myself, I double and triple check regarding important matters. I'm not too sure how much blame can be given to assumptions or forgetfulness, when it comes to parenting, grandparenting and other caregiving. Safety safety safety. I can't imagine losing a grandchild to such negligence. I guess it's because of such fear that I'm so careful.

Hard to make a judgment without seeing the footage, but from the story, it seems it was an awful mistake to assume the window would be a safe place to hold a child up against. If a window could possibly be not locked shut and is not intended for people to be leaning up against in the first place, I feel that it would be the caregivers place to check it.

The loss is likely punishment itself, but in case the caregiver is without remorse, additional punishment may be in order to set an example for others that you can't get away with homicide by saying you assume something to be safe.

2

I can see how this type of thing is a legal minefield. There are all kinds of questions the authorities have to ask.

Why was a window on the 11th floor able to be opened, especially if the room is for children to play in? I don't know much about the legal regulations for building cruise ships, but for buildings OSHA regulations require fall protection for any windows or holes in a wall, which typically means windows above a certain floor can't open. There definitely needs to be greater attention to detail when dealing with safety in the manufacturing and design of anything.

If the grandfather is guilty of negligence, than perhaps so should the manufacturers. A little extra thought by just about anyone could have saved the child's life.

2

I have to agree that the idea of allowing a child to pound on a window is ridiculous in itself. Worst case scenario, glass breaks and child is mutilated or falls from a high place. Best case scenario, child has been introduced to an inconsiderate and potentially dangerous activity. Grampa was a moron. "I was a moron" is usually not considered an accepted excuse for an avoidable death.

Deb57 Level 8 Oct 30, 2019

So because the guy may be a moron, you'd have him criminally punished?
It was a horrible accident.

Remember when Eric Clapton's young son went out an open window??
The cleaning lady left it open, not expecting the 3-year old to come into the room and throw himself against it.
She wasn't being negligent, she was cleaning.

The two circumstances are entirely different. Grandpa was left in charge of the child and actually put the child in danger. The maid was not in charge of the child, the child was not present when she opened the window, and she was probably neither aware of nor responsible for the child's whereabouts. Unless we are going to take everyone at their word that they "didn't mean to" injure, maim, or kill; we have to have laws that apply to everyone.

@Deb57 Both were accidents. No one had malice of intent.

2

I remember you, from the beginning! It would be nice to meet you. But no winter hiking, I have a peg leg! lol And don't tell me that if you were winter hiking & in dire straits that you wouldn't be eyeing up my peg leg. Once that's gone, then what? 🤔

2

Idiot how could he lose his grip on grandchild , Fucking irresponsible, child pays for his stupidity

bobwjr Level 10 Oct 30, 2019

I think the larger issue is the cruise ship having open windows in a children's play area, 11 floors up.
The grandfather never even considered that kind of hazard would be there.

I realize that I'm taking the minority position, but being a caregiver, I can
see how easy it is to just blame the grandfather, and not account for all the contributing factors.

@KKGator agreed but how was he so careless to lose his grip, when I played with my kids I was always kept a firm grip

@bobwjr I understand your point, BUT, little kids can be squirmy AF.
Some of us can lose our grip on a squirmy kid.
It's happened to me.
I have no doubt that the grandfather is completely heartbroken and beating
himself up mercilessly.
The parents aren't blaming him.
Neither am I.

Simple answer life happens. We as humans will never think of all the possible scenarios that could happen to a child or even our selves at any moment in life. If we did we would to scared to do anything let alone explore. Feel very sorry for the family The grandfather is probably going out of his mind having to deal with this lose

@KKGator I’m very with you on this one.

2

People can be such idiots! Go figger!

1

It wouldn't have happened with me. Not that I don't do stupid things. I'm well known for that. I just can't get close to a floor window, railing or ledge at height. I'm sure there is a term for this problem. I love to fly and enjoy the view, maybe a control thing. Just freaks me out to be on a balcony over 3 or 4 stories.

1

It is always best to err on the side of caution. I would like to hear more from those involved. I expect little to be said if it is a legal matter, both grandfather and ship. That said, I have to side with a full investigation into grandfather's actions. I say this, knowing that is seldom down anymore in "tragic accidents" in gun deaths. I rant on that, thus to not push responsibility here would be hypocritical. I do not doubt grandfather's intentions; but, in all fairness all aspects of ALL accidents should be looked at.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:420170
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.