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Feel alone?

Anyone ever feel alone with everyone always shoving their religion in your face? Met some people that I really thought were cool then BAM!!! They pull the “atheist are so stupid!” And I’m supposed to do what just keep quiet or try and figure out how to explain to them that I am an atheist?

tcook8756 4 Nov 17
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54 comments

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0

Knowing me, I'd inform them that my IQ tests as 160+ and I'm atheist....then walk away. I'd never talk to them again.

9

When somebody makes a stupid statement like that around me, I always ask them, "How many atheists do you actually know?" They usually admit to not knowing any. Then I tell them that they might be acquainted with more atheists than they realize, but that most people are not going to make a disclosure like that to someone who is bigoted. Some of them are mortified to be considered bigoted.

Deb57 Level 8 Nov 18, 2019

You would ask a 'cultural chrisitian' ? What answer did u expect?

@Atheist3 An expectation of an answer isn't the only reason to ask a question.

@Deb57 While that is true, you should have anticipated the response. Let's face it, anybody who is firmly entrenched in their belief system is reluctant to change it unless they are receptive to subjecting their beliefs to honest examination. A rarity.

Thanks for mansplaining that, and then for mansplaining your mansplaining. Because I only commented in the hope of getting instruction from you on what I "should" do.

@Deb57 😀 Tell them that you're a secular humanist.

7

As an atheist since age 13, I make friends easily. My Christian friends love me for who I am. We don't discuss religion.

My sister doesnt allow her husband and I to discuss religion. "I've heard it all before Bob," she tells him, keeping family peace. He got a divinity degree and became a minister after retiring from business. We get along well, however, he has volunteered to perform my future marriage with Penlop, from here - awkward. Luckily he doesnt like tRump; however, prior to tRump's win, he told me, "i don't think Obama is the anti christ, but I think he will usher him in." Oh, how I want to remind him of that.

7

If someone actually said "atheists are so stupid" , in my presence, I'd likely quietly and quickly remove myself from their company. They wouldn't deserve me.

7

I long ago passed the stage of feeling a need to expose my personal belief (or lack thereof) system(s). There once was a time when I was willing to bother, I stopped wasting my breath long ago.

If you're in America, you're going to be an 8%er for a long time to come. You'll either have to be secure enough in yourself to ignore the silliness, or battle with the other 92%.

6

I do not announce my atheism, but I will not allow such calumny. I have never heard such words, but if I did, then I would articulate how what they said is ignorant, judgmental, and unacceptable.

5

"No, I'm not, a talking snake told me so!"

5

They are the ones with their imaginary friend in the sky and we're the stupid ones?!

OK theist!

5

Get a dog!

5

I tell people whom I meet that I am an atheist.

5

If anyone wants to disagree, I have no problem. If they want to be condescending, then they will have a fight.I will discuss anything, I will not be talked down to.

5

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.

Probably would have asked if they actually know any "stupid" atheists,
and gone from there. If they don't know any atheists, it doesn't make sense
to say they're all stupid. I'll go after their "logic" and false assumptions.
I'm not one to shy away from confrontation, and I don't hide my atheism when
the subject comes up. I tend to challenge people on statements like that.

I'm sorry you feel lonely.
Hopefully, participating on this site will help alleviate that for you, even if
it's just a little.

5

That’s when you respond with, “It’s a shame that you think I’m so stupid. I actually take great care to educate myself and respect others that don’t share my belief in that which is scientifically proven.”

4

Certainly I feel alone. My religious friend since age 12 acts like he thinks this is a phase I am going through. He often says in discussion "you know what it is." It seems to fly right over his head that knowing is why I no longer believe today. Others claim that at my age I should take up religion because "I don't have much time left." Ignorant people all think we are at a meeting some place "taking logic and reasoning" classes and even the most sincere of them all do not understand why "we just cannot accept the bible."

Not a one of them understands that once you have seen behind the curtain you can no longer believe in the Wizard of Oz. Yes, I feel alone. For starters this wonderful book, the bible, came along some 300 years after the time of Jesus. No wonder it has so many mistakes.

4

I respond to that with "what do you think an atheist is?"
and we are off and running
However your not likely to retain them as a friend if their bias is so strong.

Ask yourself in these situations
What am I trying to do?
Be respected for my lack of belief?
Be accepted with my lack of belief?
OR
Have a chance to explain why I do not believe?

4

Its up to you. You arent alone.

4

i have never felt so alone as an atheist as i've felt as a jew, and it's not as if i ever was religious; i was raised secularly. nonetheless, i was called dirty jew, my friends became my nonfriends as their mothers told them they couldn't play with me unless i said i loved jesus christ, i was chased, hit, yelled at, asked to change my name to something "less overtly jewish," denied jobs, "innocently" exposed to antisemitic language, all by people who had no clue i was an atheist. so yeah i am a bit uncomfortable when a store clerk tells me to have a blessed day, or being told something was "meant to be" (there has to be someone doing the meaning, right?) i am more uncomfortable (especially this time of year) with the trees, the lights, the merry christmases, the santas, the red and green, the damned ASSUMPTION that everyone is into it, as if either everyone is christian or christmas isn't REALLY a religious holiday (but then, who are these people demanding to put the christ back in christmas?) or anyone who doesn't like christmas is a scrooge. yeah, i feel alone at such times, and it is only peripherally because i am an atheist.

g

Sad that there some out there who are so Bloody-minded and racist.
I do truly feel for you on that side of it all, also on the Xmas side of things where every Tom, Dick and Harry as well as the female versions of the same have the idea that everyone MUST wish each other things like 'Merry Xmas' BECAUSE, in their minds, EVERYONE has to believe their archaic, arcane Fairy Tale that a great Saviour was born on that specific day and time of the year.
I get some snide enjoyment of responding with either " Happy Saturnalia," or, if I'm in a less than friendly mood, " I hope you've got your umbrella ready on that day because Santa WILL be coming, he ONLY comes once every year and I reckon it WILL get very messy and sticky."

@Triphid Lol I try to be tolerant but let someone. Less me at the wrong moment....

g

3

People that make such statements also probably believe that climate change is fake. They can't see past their own delusion.

3

I was married to a Christian, who used my lack of faith to turn people against me and justify dumping me after 11 years of faithful service. After that horrific experience, I am unwilling to be involved with a woman who identifies as Christian, which means I just don't date at all. I am living in a very conservative area and non-Christian woman over the age of 50 are few and far between.

After the way I was treated by the church I had been attending with my wife, a supposedly liberal Episcopalian church, I don't trust Christians to respect me once they find out I'm not one of them.

I can see that happening. Sometimes you have to play nice with crazy for survival, and there's a whole lot of crazy in southern christianity. I was raised in CA before coming down south. Let it go there. Now, I deal with confident exclusion in the education system, medical, you name it- and it only empowers the craziest of the crazy to ostracize and control others.

3

For my part, I am comfortable enough "in my own skin" that it doesn't particularly upset me if someone I know trots out the theist stuff. Methinks these things sort of sift out on their own, if it is allowed to do so.

So, over time, the people I have drawn close to me don't discuss religion (or politics). If either subject comes up in the group, it is usually scowled down by believers and non-believers alike.

But while you can pick your friends, family is another matter. I have a sibling who is fundamental BAC; we don't really talk that often. Kinda sad, but I have more important things to do than useless arguing with them, so I let it be.

3

My sister has emphatically stated that all Muslims are terrorist, and that "men who dress up as women" (transgender) are a danger to children. Both myself and her daughter have tried to explain things to her and it hasn't helped. I even asked her if my daughter's girlfriend is a danger (she's transgender), and my sister says she's not one of "those" people.

I don't know about anyone else, but I TRULY hate the phrase "those people".

But back to the question...... I usually ask them why they think that way. That usually gets the hole they're digging a lot deeper. When they finally explain themself, I let them know I'm an atheist.

I love seeing them confused.

The monkeyverse.

3

Always when facing this or any kind of prejudice you have 3 paths, your choice of action is based on how much energy you want to spend on this person, I will list them from minimum to maximum effort.

Go away:
Smile wave and never talk again, simple, fast.

Confront:
React with power, say that she is stupid for thinking this or something like this, hold your position firmly creating a conflict.
Maybe she will see how ridiculous the prejudice was, maybe she will enter in defense mode, fight back and reinforce her previous belief... who knows

Explain and educate in a non confrontational way.
Talk that there are many nice, intelligent, wise and good atheists, that generalize based on prejudice is wrong and people are intelligent/stupid by their search for knowledge and not belief. That yes there can be fanatic stupid atheists but most of them are simply seeking truth, the same as everyone.
And then tells her that you are one and even tough she was liking you.

maybe she won't accept, maybe the prejudice is too strong, but you have more chances to keep peace and break the deep rooted idea this way.

Bonus: You can ignore and "live the lie"

@Pedrohbds I choose this option if the relationship is not one I consider important. Just not worth my time to share that much about myself.

@Cinco smile and wave boys... Smile and wave

3

Serious opportunity there to make them feel really stupid.

3

I think, if I felt like I had developed some rapport with these people, I'd politely say, "Hmm, I'm an atheist and I don't think I'm stupid. In fact, I've thought carefully on the reasons people give for religious belief and whether there's a good rationale for faith. I'd be interested in hearing why you think I'm stupid for refusing to accept on blind faith supernatural claims." It puts them on the spot, which may not be the kindest approach but it gets them thinking about their biases. It's entirely possible they've never actually known an atheist, and this is an opportunity to present them with a perspective they've been taught to demonize without understanding.

3

I would have at least asked them to give me a reason why they think that.

3

Interesting...well for me I always feel lonely . Married and in a group.

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