Agnostic.com

85 7

How old were you when you got married for the first time?

"For many people, regardless of sexual orientation, a wedding is no longer the first step into adulthood that it once was, but, often, the last. It is a celebration of all that two people have already done, unlike a traditional wedding, which was a celebration of what a couple would do in the future.

Consistent with this shift in meaning, different-sex couples, like the many of the same-sex couples who have married recently, are starting their marriages later in their lives. According to the Census Bureau, the median age at first marriage—the age at which half of all marriages occur—was 27.4 for women and 29.5 for men in 2017. That’s higher than at any time since the Census began keeping records in 1890."

[theatlantic.com]

VictoriaNotes 9 Mar 24
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

85 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

5

I was much older than average - 37!

Jnei Level 8 Mar 24, 2018

@VictoriaNotes I like this way better!

@VictoriaNotes Another bonus is your kids get to be in the wedding. Imagine how much of an impression that will make on them about love and life. Wow....

2

20 years and about 8 weeks in 1979.
Pretty young given 1970 was my last year of primary school.

That’s the same thing I did in 79 ..with only a couple years on you..

@VictoriaNotes Wait.......You were 20 in the late 70s? You don't look more than 40 in your picture.

2

16 years old

dc65 Level 7 Mar 24, 2018

Shotgun wedding?

@kensmile4u my marriage lasted 24 years

@dc65 Shotguns are a powerful motivation. Lol... My ex was expecting when I got married. We were married 13 years. It was the most stressful time of my life. I had 2 kids with her. They were the silver linings. She was the dark cloud!!!!

0

Married at 53 so that my Nazi family wouldn't get my porfolio when a near death experience jumped me. I would never have married & really dislike having to say I am, cause it is open save for the finances. He is a house mate not the other kind of mate.

@VictoriaNotes Thanks. But my current situation is fine other than having a house mate. He has his own bathroom so it is all good.=0}

1

I was 27 when I married the first time. My ex was 25. We had 3 daughters and lasted 18 years. The thing was, I still loved him when we divorced. There just was no way we could be together without hurting each other. There was so much stuff that had calcified between us and it took the divorce - with its physical and more importantly emotional separation - to dissolve it. After the divorce was finalized, we started being able to be kinder to each other and we co-parent well together now.

@VictoriaNotes You are welcome. I don't have bad feelings towards marriage, but it does tend to complicate things for some reason. Like you can give your friends a lot more grace than the person you live with 24/7. I think people do better with space between them. 🙂

I was married two more times myself. After some time to let the bitterness lose its bite, I became friends with both. My second wife and I had a son and we were married 22 years, We decided to bury the hatchet when our son's wife became pregnant with our first grandchild and remained friends until she died of cancer about a year ago. My third wife was from Slovakia (not a bought bride! ?) and had a one year old son that I fell in love with as much as I did with her. I knew we had issues, but thought we could work them out to keep the boy growing up here in the US. It didn't work, but we stuck it out long enough for them to get their permanent Green Cards. She left me and we didn't communicate much for about five years, until she mentioned in an email that the guy she left me for was ignoring her son. So, I said I would be glad to help out with him in anyway I could. I was really the only father he had known, we were together the first 5 years of his life. She eventually got rid of the boyfriend and we spend time together (with no sexual benefits) since neither of us have anyone else in our lives. And it's looking like that will be the story for the rest of my life, since I can't seem to even get a date for dinner nowadays.

3

I was 29, he was 40. I guess I was late to the game, but I've often thought it was good that I had time to focus only on myself before committing to being a couple. I think the trend in the article is a positive one.

I've lived through many of the same-sex marriage reasons via my brother. We fought so long for same sex marriage but there was a point where his attitude was,"Fuck it. We don't need their damn license to make us a couple." However, he proposed at a family dinner, and they married on the 25th anniversary of their partnership (so both over 50). I suspect that the vast majority of couples at the wedding had not been together nearly that long.

@VictoriaNotes Imagine a world where everyone got married to the person they really wanted to be with, whenever they chose to commit, regardless of the strictures of race, religion, and age? Or whether or not they were pregnant? We could probably get the divorce rate down to 5% or so.

1

I was a teen bride-married two weeks before my 20th birthday.

@VictoriaNotes, wow, so young (for you both)! I don't know if this is one of the "social stigmas" but my BFF's mother told me that I'd best get married before 30 or people would think I was a lesbian. I made it under the wire by three months. 🙂

3

I'd been 16 a month and a half. My husband was 18 and turned 19 a month later. 6 1/2 of the longest years of my life. I was widowed at 22 with a 5 year old and a 4 year old.

@VictoriaNotes It's actually the nicest thing he ever did for me. He was abusive and couldn't keep a job either. After he died I had a steady income I could count on.

0

I was 23, he was 24. We had twenty great years, but cancer ended it. I did not feel young or immature. I now look at my 21 YO daughter and wonder how things changed so much. She's at 21 like I was at 19.

Zster Level 8 Mar 25, 2018

Me, too. Cancer is a monster.

1

I was 24 and she was 25. Lasted for 36 years and the divorce became final on the 36th wedding anniversery.

BillF Level 7 Mar 25, 2018

WOW! That is a long time and not being able to get to the finish line. You must be
left with many wonderful memories

That was a hell of a run (not in a bad sense). Good on ya!

2

I was 31 but only got married so that we could legally live together. We were living in Dubai, U.A.E. at the time. Dubai can be quite strict when they can be bothered. We didn't want to get into any trouble with the police for being unmarried and living together. If we were living anywhere else where it wasn't such a big deal, I doubt we would've ever married. We are separated now...lol...

There are quite a lot of couples in the gulf who have no choice but to get married if they want to live with each other. My brother and his wife got married more or less for the same reason however they are still together after 15 years. Though they too would not have got married in a rush if they had the choice.

3

...and, how old were you?

Hutch Level 7 Mar 24, 2018
1

I was 21...too young but in love ?

9

I don't know yet. Don't rush me!

skado Level 9 Mar 24, 2018
2

I was first married at age 18. She was 19. It was 1981. We had been sexually active for about a year, and on my 18th birthday went camping. My father sternly warned us to be careful, assuming we would be engaging in sexual activity at the campsite. Doing it at home was one thing. Doing it in a public area was quite another. He was concerned because the news in Wisconsin included the story of an unmarried couple in the Sheboygan area who were caught having sex and arrested for it. It was technically illegal in Wisconsin at the time for an unwed couple to have sex, but the law was not generally enforced. I don't remember why they dropped the hammer on this couple.

Anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant with my daughter. Wanting to do the right thing, I married her that summer. We had a second child, my son, a couple of years later, but by that time the marriage was already in serious trouble. She would go back to Pennsylvania for months on end to be with her family, typically at the behest of her mother, who hated me and seemed to blame me for getting her daughter pregnant. Whenever she went to "visit" her family, I was never sure whether or not she would return. Married, to a woman who is half ghost, with two kids that I barely know because they're spending so much time in Pennsylvania.

I finally called bullshit on the whole thing and filed for divorce. 5 1/2 years after my first marriage, my first divorce was final. I figured divorce would at least result in a court order that would let me see my kids, but it didn't exactly work out that way. Although I always kept up with my court ordered child support, she never lived up to her end of the visitation order, so I still didn't get to see my kids very much.

0

19

2

I was 25 when I married for the first time, in 1962.

3

I was very very young, just turned 19, and pregnant. Lasted 2 yrs, doomed from the onset.

2

21...

Hutch Level 7 Mar 24, 2018
4

20 years old... 1st last and only...

2

25 in 1990... Divorced two months before my 30th birthday.

3

I was 19, in the Army, got married in Leominster, Mass by a JP that was also an undertaker. He was 28, the marriage lasted less than 2 years. When I married the father of my children I was 25.

4

All of 22… With ‘single daughters’ both older than that, I’ve let them know how pleased I am.. Their mother had been 19 ..nearly children ~

Varn Level 8 Mar 24, 2018
5

I was 17, my ex was 21. We made it work for almost 20 years.

5

My first marriage happened way too young. I was 28 with a maturity level of an eight year old. I think I've finally caught up with my age.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:42861
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.