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Have you ever had a frenemy?

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"

Have you ever been successful at this?

By silvereyes8
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71 comments (26 - 50)

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Maybe. I don't know if that's what she was. I know she used me for attention and as a social bridge, and for places I shared with her which she would take for her own, and she knew my feelings were far stronger than her own. After a time, I knew too but was powerless to break away. I guess she became one at some point during it all. It was a very deep personal bond between us. It was a lesson for me.


Yes I had a friend like this when I was 13 - 18 ... We are no longer friends and due to this relationship, I am more aware of these types and can keep these toxic people out of my life ... The other "good" thing to come from knowing her was that I met her step sister who turned out to be the best friend I could ever ask for ... Still going strong after 15 years : )

JaciBea Level 7 Mar 25, 2018

Nada, I will not be disrespectful but there will be no cosying up to people I do not like.

Have you ever met someone you didn't care for at first but then later found you did?

@JackPedigo That may have happened but since I don't recall anyone impacting me that way I guess it is no. MY big 'problem', I take most people at what they present and I have been fooled my some who appear to like me and then kick ya to the curb. I find I am less trusting of other women - we are a devious lot. lol

@silverotter11 I noticed you said "we"?

@JackPedigo we, as in the female of the species - I think women can be much more devious than most men. We just have not been in as many positions of power as men. Look at the woman who trump put in - the one who was involved with torture.


Now I have had friends that made me think, who needs enemies.

Dogpound9 Level 6 Mar 25, 2018

I did have a coworker frenemy. I was friendly with him only because he was close with and trusted by the boss, and those two would gossip like schoolgirls. If he said one bad thing about me it would have turned into a problem. Luckily, he's since left the company and I no longer have to deal with his multiple personalities and holier-than-thou BS.


Almost everyone, if not everyone. Until humans stop acting like animals, they always will be.

Meiliken Level 6 Mar 25, 2018

I really don't have the time or patience to allow people like that to remain in my life.
As soon as I identify one, they're gone.
I'm a pretty nice person, but there are some things I have no tolerance for.
Crappy people is one of them.

KKGator Level 9 Mar 25, 2018

I have a famenemy Both of my half sisters are so jealous of me they both have taken the high road to taking care of their kids. The third from the youngest is very promiscuous with a different guy almost every week drunk or high on cannabis, I can't remember the last time I had seen her sober. She abandoned 2 of her kids to pursue a brief homosexual encounter. She left her oldest son for my mom to raise. This one did ever thing her infantile brain could come up with to try and get control of my kids. My other sister is a heroin addict and is just ignorant of how to be a human being, she has been in and out of jail. I lost count of how many times. They both are self-destructive and because of the last thing they attempted to do to me, I will never speak to either one of them again.

azzow2 Level 8 Mar 25, 2018

I had one in junior high in Enid. this girl named stacy was my bitter enemy drawing my ire all the time on the bus and at school. then one day she gave me a card and tried to kiss me! I had all the emotional maturity of an infant so I screwedd that good deal all up. She was a stunning beauty too.


Yes many over the years. Some have turned out to be good friends with exceptions I suppose. I knew I could call them and they would come to a knife fight but bitch behind my back come first light. With that I was satisfied to call them friend.

MartinG Level 6 Mar 25, 2018

I think it works out of necessity in certain situations such as in politics, war, business, so then in socially necessary situations where a collation is more important than enmity. Perhaps some are able to carry this idea into their personal lives, I don't think I can.

cava Level 7 Mar 25, 2018

Yes lots of people who called me friend turned out to to be

Simon1 Level 7 Mar 25, 2018

All women are a frenemy. Act like you care then fuck a man over and not feel guilty. You all should be ashamed of yourselves!!

Excuse me, not all women are like that and I do not like being put in that category! Shame on you.

And my ex husband cheated on me, the second one left me thousands in debt. I do not blame all men. Perhaps you should consider that YOU choose women with a proclivity for screwing people over.


All the time


I am nice to my ex so I can see my kids anytime I want. I don't hate her and have accepted she is who she is. However, I don't like her and I don't trust her. I don't know if that counts as a frenemy. It does make me a little two faced, which goes against my core principlas. But doing what is best for my kids and seeing them when I want is a higher priority.

Rudy1962 Level 9 Mar 25, 2018

There are a ot of people that I don't like, but would rather work with them rather than a friend and there are friends that I would rather like that to try to work with because we probably wouldn't like each other for long lol.


Sun Tzu 孫子 The Art of Warfare "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" Although this is attributed to various historical figures I am inclined think that it orginated with Sun Tzu. In a nutshell his philosophy is: "Avoid a war if at all possible, if not, bring it to a speedy conclusion with minimum loss of life, damage to land and property."

The whole point of keeping your enemies closer than your friends is simply to learn their strengths and weakness.

ASTRALMAX Level 7 Mar 25, 2018



Friends change pic who you keep close wisely

Bloodmoon Level 5 Mar 25, 2018

Yes...funny, I was gonna say 'no', but I lived in a small community with a small-ish clique that everybody went to same parties, same shows, etc. If you didn't like someone that was moderately popular (even if everybody knew they were a douchebag), you couldn't just take them outside for a walk around the block unless they crossed a serious boundary. Or, more specifically, causing drama would just wind up with you being not welcome and incidentally ostracized for causing too much drama. So, you had to play a 'court' game. Louis XIV style.


Yhup left him in last year knew him for 6 years lived with him, brought cars with him, made money with him. You end up sussing out a frenemy eventually, glad I did.


I have know people who pretended to be my friend, but did things to hurt me. I had to learn to avoid them and say "no".

radar54 Level 5 Mar 25, 2018

Why would you want a person like that in your life?
I have a neighbor like that and I don't associate with him anymore.

dc65 Level 7 Mar 25, 2018

I think the terms friend and enemy are mutually exclusive

lbusche Level 7 Mar 25, 2018
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