How do you deal with sitting down to eat with family/friends that says a prayer including Jesus Christ?
(I allow it and then announce my own prayer about love of family, gratitude for the food we are about to eat. Including all the people involved with this food arriving here and now.)
These days I do not bow my head and I deliberately look around. I simply do not believe the person praying. I do not believe them at all. To me a prayer over food asking it to be used "for the nourishment of your body" is totally ignorant until you put yourself in a world with no refrigeration and sometimes little food. Once this is understood it makes more sense to me, but not to people today.
Now I will go on into praying in general. I do not believe people who say they "are praying for you." I do not believe George and Laura Bush, politicians in general, nor do I believe Pelosi is praying for Trump. I don't believe churches or their pastors or anybody else that makes such a ridiculous claim. Saul of Tarsus got it all going when they used "prayer clothes" to pray for others remotely because everyone could not be present to do so. In modern times bags of mail are brought in and everyone prays over them that "god will meet their needs." This is insanity. We might as well throw money up into the air and let god catch all that he can.
No, I do not believe you when you are praying for me. In one way or another you are simply putting on a big show.
I quietly allow them to do their thing. If they ask me to say grace, I put my hands in a meditative pose and chant, "Buddha, Buddha, bless the foodah."
Oh you shameless devil you....LOL.
So glad to know there is another around like me, I was once given the Bum's Rush from a meal at my newly converted to Catholicism sister's house when I responded with " Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet and Watch, I'm about to eat this meal while it's still hot and Jesus, tough luck because you're not."
My family are believers and when we get together for holidays or just dinner together, they always pray. Everyone holds hands while one of my sons says the prayer. I always sit with them, hold hands but do not bow my head. Instead I look around at all of them and think how much I love them, warts and all. Unless someone is trying to force their views on me I just don’t engage with them.
I stare off into space and wait for them to finish their ritual.
I never understand why other people praying should bother anyone who doesn’t.
Sounds like grandstanding.
Be grateful for the food at all parts of the process to get it to your plate. Sun, rain, farmers, process plant packers, cutlers, potters, electricity company and on it goes.
A one stop shop sounds quite reasonable to prevent your dinner getting cold!
I have this happen weekly. I am a part of a group that feeds the homeless and, inevitably, someone insists on saying a prayer. I do not participate. I do not bow my head. I simple wait quietly until they are done. When I am forced to be "thankful", I phrase it as a group appreciation for the bounties of the earth and field, a benefit of toil and sweat by those willing to raise our food.
I just sit quietly til they're done then I start eating. There's usually a little eye rolling that they never see because their heads are bowed and eyes closed in respect to speaking to gawd.
Whatever.They made the food, I can put up with one silly prayer.
In someone else's home I just sit looking around waiting to eat. In my own home it never happens.
I have one co-worker I work with sometimes and if we have lunch in a restaurant he'll bow his head and say a silent prayer. I ignore him and start eating
It doesn't matter if you pray. It's not like you pray and suddenly "they've got ya again".
Look at it this way - Let's say prayer does nothing outside of your body and mind. But depending on your beliefs and focus it may have several effects on you. Just like meditation the simple exercise of closing ones' eyes and focusing on specific things removes the "clutter" from your thoughts. Or it can. So it's not necessary to shun it nor is that even recommended.
I've often wondered if christian prayer is their knock-off version of meditation. In yoga we use meditation to promote mental discipline. While we see the numbers of the religious taking a downturn, we see the numbers of people exercising various forms of mental discipline (yoga) shooting skyward. These days it's all the rage to engage in right-mindedness and rightful thought. Such meditation has crept into even the education systems of many countries as we learn more about the positive effects of mental discipline. So it has value if done properly - maybe the christians were trying to do it and ended up doing it wrong.
Seems to work rather well for the vedic believers independent of any religious context. The stories of ascetics being able to control their bodily processes through meditation are vast and proven accurate. So focusing the way you think has effects on you and those effects can be positive and controlled. It's what Buddhists and Hindus and Jains and some other Chinese have been doing for thousands of years. Instead of just shunning prayer out of ignorance maybe we should learn more about it and how it can work for us.
In other peoples houses I just say "No thanks" when asked to pray, and immediately after they have finished mumbling to their invisible friend I thank and compliment my hosts and the meal provided and for my invitation.
If they insist on knowing why I tell them I find it a matter of very bad manners that I should thank and credit "gawd" for a meal, my host cooked, prepared, served and paid for.
I wrote a poetic prayer to the non-existent flying spaghetti monster sky God, you can use it the next time praying with them Christian's at supper.
Spaghetti monster, Spaghetti monster in the sky.
Why o why must them hungry childen die.
Pasta in the sky with meatballs for an eye.
How we wish they had a pizza pie.
Bread sticks with marinara for which to dip.
Who can not be sarcastic but gave a flip.
Condescending dressing over word salad so make.
What the hope from the child to take.
Spaghetti monster spaghetti monster in the sky.
Where is your atheist near Christian sitting by.
Spaghetti monster spaghetti monster in the sky
When will your atheist see, if they would get off their ass, quit complaining about God people for not doing anything and do something themselves, no child would have to die.
@JohnnyQB you might be right, the prophetic vision of wrath of the bowls poured out may of looked like blood but could really be pasta sauce killing off every thing in the sea. Spaghetti monster sky God pours out bowls of pasta sauce wrath.
The second angel poured out his bowl on the sea, and it turned into blood like that of a dead person, and every living thing in the sea died. Rev. 16:3
Now, we just have to waite and see if the oceans fill up with pasta sauce.
Depends who is praying. If it’s going to be short, I stand still. If it’s my brother....I go outside for a break.
Luckily I don't have to deal with that.
Lucky indeed! I am envious.
well, that never happens to me so i'd have to imagine. when my immediate family was alive, we didn't pray. we were secular jews. our prayers, had we said them, would not have included any christs.
i also only have one friend, really my guy's friend, who would be likely to do such a thing. we went to a christmas party once thrown by a friend of hers and attended by my guy and me, both jewish and me an atheist to boot, and apart from us all rabid evangelicals, and by rabid i mean that our friend won't apply for a job unless jesus says she should, and her friends all believe that a physical humanoid devil sat down with the beach boys and made a contract which they all signed. THAT kind of rabid.
i slightly knew and liked one woman, younger than i, a kind person with a sense of humor who also seemed to like me, and had thought we might be friends -- you know, go out and eat or to a movie, talk about guys, do stuff friends do. i have moved around a lot in my life and have tons of friends but sometimes it's hard to find someone who isn't halfway around the world, just to do friend-stuff with. i found myself alone at the table with her while the others, including my guy, were in another room. she said something about jesus and i gently reminded her that i was jewish (this was not the crowd to whom to announce i was also an atheist). she was puzzled; what did that have to do with the price of beans, after all? "But you still believe in jesus christ," she said. "no," i corrected her.that no, jews do not believe in a divine jesus (i didn't add "if he ever existed at all). she frowned deeply at this. i said "good thing we're in america! we have freedom of religion here, so you can believe in jesus and act accordingly, and i can be who i am and act accordinly, and we can still be friends, and nobody is right or wrong!" her frown deepened even more. she thought for half a minute. then she said, "no, i don't believe that." and she never spoke to me again.
every year we're invited to that house for a christmas party. every year i say no.
i guess that solved THAT problem, anyway.
g
Years ago on a business trip I had to share a room with a colleague.I walked into the room to find him kneeling by his bed with his hands together in a prayer position. I desperately had to stifle a laugh as he was an ex army special forces guy and he could probably have killed me with his little finger.
My family is Catholic, so prayers are recited and not improvised. Grace before meals was always said. My brother-in-law and myself are the atheists, but we sit quietly while everyone else crosses themselves and say the prayer. I do not cross myself and I do not say the prayer and when it is done I carry on as if nothing had happened. My brother-in-law sometimes liked to conclude by saying, "Mekka-lekka-hi, mekka hi-ne-ho". We would both chuckle and then that would be that.