Mostly, it depends on how they are talking about their ex. If it is about how lucky they were to get away. That's OK. If it's about how nasty they were and all men (women) are the same. Not OK. If it's about how they really messed up and the ex got away. That's really not OK.

If they were in a long relationship, of course they're going to have their ex in a large majority of their past experiences and important parts of their history. If you're so threatened by that, then maybe you aren't ready for a real relationship. You're not a middle schooler.

HOWEVER that said, keep the past in the past. Pasts are important. We are who we are because of everything in our past. To pretend like you never loved your ex is to deny a part of what has made you who you are. Think on it like an old childhood memory. Don't let that memory dictate today.

If they blather on about the Ex..fuck that..shows they're not over it..I don't have time or the patients to hold someones hand...

My wife never talks about her ex. He's dead and there's no love lose. We see my children's mother and it's ok ... I think. I see tension in my wife and work with her to help her feel like she's the queen of our castle. I try not to spend to much time talking to my children's mother. I mostly listen to her and her friends journeys. I keep it simple and I'm smart about not doing anything to cause an alert.

In my case - he lost his wife not even a year ago - so I expect him to have "moments", and want to talk about her. Though it can get a bit old at times ...

I guess it depends. Are they just talking about her as if they’re still in love? Then no. Are they just mentioning them as part of a story or something along that line? No big deal. Especially if they have children together. I get along with my ex just fine. Haven’t been in love with him for many years, but we were together for 20+ so...

From what I understand, if it's the woman talking about her ex to her new boyfriend, what she's doing is telling the new boyfriend what she doesn't want. If it's the other way around that's a no no.

It isn't an ex; it is his deceased wife. I don't mind at all. Those 21 years are a part of who he is. It shows me he can commit long-term, love deeply, feel emotions, and trust me enough to share. I hope her and their pictures stay up to include her in his present life. He's not living in the past, He's living with the past. I'm one fucking lucky girl! ?

If im dating someone and they are divorced or just out of a long term relationship, I would want top know why. It might be something like, "They hated it whenever I murdered a hobo," That's important information.

Depends on the context.

If she says, WOW, Whew! my ex never did THAT to me before! Is that even legal in this state?

I'ld be ok with it.

I wouldnt want to be involved in acting like a therapist for a former relationship, At my age I hope there have been others and it would be hard to talk about this person's life without including past partners. I do pay close attention to how they are discussed though

Just a sec.

I found the pork in my tamale.

nom.nom.

I don't thin'k many of us are virgins.

Speaking of the before is natural.

When they're crying on your shoulder about their ex, they are revealing who they really are, warts and all, so grab that bottle of wine and LISTEN UP!

I'm not thrilled about it but small doses are bound to surface, so if I'm the one asking questions about the ex, then its ok. Lol

Not on a first date please.

Depends, I would not want to hear about his big manhood and how he used to pound her til the bed broke, but if we are talking within the subject of ex's, it's cool....sometimes people can't stop talking about them, that is a huge turn off.

My vote was 'I don't mind at all'. with the caveat - as long as it is not the blame game.

If it's just a reference point then it's ok, but if it turns into an all night ex rememberance affair then it's pretty rude. If someone constantly mentions their ex on a date, they obviously aren't over them, or they are just really inconsiderate and aloof of the situation. Either way, we don't need to keep seeing each other. If her response to every issue I bring up is, "Oh my ex did that!", or "My ex used to do it this way!", or something similar, then it's a huge turn off.

Small doses.
I don't want to hear it much, and I certainly don't want to be compared to him.
It's pretty rude IMO.

I think that the last thing that anyone would want to hear on a first date is someone who talks about their ex-whatever. On a first date it would seem to point to a "baggage issue" and might serve as a red flag.

Never a good idea to bring it up early on, but it can be theraputic and helpful for mutual understanding later in the relationship. It is important to speak in terms of what the past relationship has taught. Involves understanding and Self discovery, learning from past mistakes and Moving Forward to a happier and healthier life. Never good to be stuck in the past.

I think the past is the past - I make a point of not mentioning exes to current partners. It's not that it 'bothers' me as such - just that 'private moments' remain private even when with an ex.

Especially at first it should be kept as a minimum. If a girl won't stop talking about their ex. No matter what it will makes me believe they are not yet over them in some fashion. Whatever the reason is it doesn't matter. The only thing you need is a friend and time to get over them. I usually never talk about exes especially when I first begin dating. I feel at that point it's like your conjuring them.

It's usually a big red flag. I used to brush it off in the past, but I have learned through experience that it is a significant signal that the person has not moved on or put the negative aspects of past relationships behind. In my opinion this behavior can be a sure signal that they will project the actions of others upon you and over analyze your every move based upon their hang-ups about their ex.

It really depends on how much they do it, and what talking about an ex (or exes) does to their demeanor.
I pay close attention to such conversations. Much can be learned about a person by listening to them talking about an ex. If they do it incessantly, and with rancor, that's a pretty good sign for me to bail before things go any farther.