One needs to be secure enough in one's self to not allow that to bother you. Don't tilt at windmills. Save your energy for real problems.

I think it depends upon the context. If it's essentially out of the blue, and just some kind of rant, that's a red flag. Or perhaps worse, if it seems to be brought up at slightest tangential context, that's also a red flag. In both cases, it signals to me that the other person probably hasn't moved far enough beyond an ex or exes.

Certainly, there are instances when it would be acceptable, if it's directly related to the context, but even then the nature of the recollection matters as well. The only manner I can think of that would be suitable is a rather live and learn attitude.

it depends on the circumstances. from previous experience it never bothered me. but those were not more than brief mention or comparisons. so that was enough for my desires.

I'll let everyone know as soon as I find someone to date.

I think it depends on the context

It would depend on many things: How long had we been dating? How long had it been since I dated and why? My husband had been dead 5 years before I started dating and so I expected there to be conversations around exes as a natural part of getting to know each other. There were widowers and divorcees and what they said was very telling so it paid to be attentive, in order to really know what they were looking for by dating me.

Those who can't get past talking about their ex no matter what the subject may be raising a red flag that they aren't over the relationship, but as others have said, with a long-term thing like a marriage with children, you'd need to allow a lot of slack, since nearly every experience probably involved either ex or kids.

Comparisons like "I loved the way he styed his hair, you should try it that way", or "Why don't you get your nails done, she used to" need some immediate communication around them if you like the person otherwise, because this type of thing may create resentment later on.

My advice is keep your eyes and ears open as well as your mind to know what you're getting into.

I would be surprised to find out I'm dating someone.

We all talk about our exes to some extent. It would depend entirely on the situation in which it comes up.

I do not have that problem

Depends largely on the type of talking. If he has nothing nice to say about her, I figure that someday it will be me he is trashing. Conversely if he can't stop talking about great she was, I figure he is going to be going back to her someday

As long as it's relevant.

Hearing someone rant and rave about their ex gives me good insite on what bothers them. Sometimes it's good, sometimes bad. After that, definitely small doses. It gets annoying. And never compare your ex to whomever you are dating!! That's been my experience.

It depends on how much they talk about them and HOW they talk about them. If there is a huge amount of unresolved anger, or disrespect then it is a red flag. I talk about my ex because I still see him fairly frequently, the kids like to do family birthdays and holidays. We're amicable. I am not angry with him, I am pretty indifferent, I think. We spent 25 years together and have kids and grandkids, we are linked whether we like it or not.

i have to say 'other'.
there can be a lot to be learned about a person from the way he/she talks about past (or present, for that matter) relationships, as well as what this person has to tell - & that i want to know.
on the other hand i get quickly bored to tears with non-adventurous life stories, especially if they are still emotionally loaded.

The ex and I were together over 20 years, so it would be impossible not to talk about that phase of my life. I don't rant and rave, and I don't overdo it. I don't know how you could get to know someone new and not talk about your past.

Pay attention, you might learn a lot! Think of what they are saying as if you were reading a real estate ad: example, "conveniently located" =next to a 24-hour liquor store. Etc.
Nobody just landed on planet Earth....your past is what makes you who you are today
90% chance they will treat you the exact way they treated their last lover. Pay attention!

When I was dating my 'late' partner I did mention a 'former' one but was told sometimes it was a little too often. So I learned a lesson. Now I have to have a balancing act as to just the right amount. Other person(s) are a part of one's life as one's friends and maybe even their children and one should not expect the other to forget their past. For me, I want to know about the other people in a persons life, that's part of a relationship. The problem arises when that relationship is used as a comparison or model or chip on one's shoulder. For me I do not want to replace any of my past partners even the great one. I want someone new. It is not fair to anyone and is unrealistic. Everyone should be judged on their own merits. BTW I would hope if I did talk too much about another in the past my 'date' would nudge me to back off.

Our past accounts for who we have become. Some has been edifying and some damaging. A person who loves who've they become and appreciates others for who they've also become has no difficulty sharing ANY life experiences, joyful, hurtful or teaching. Without the past included who are we?

I don't mind as long as its relevant to a story or something

I don't mind, it is all part of who they are.

You have to care to be jealous

It depends on the context. I dated a lady in Denver whose ex would come hang out with us. I liked him. My ex-wifes' ex came to town and stayed with us for a couple of days to see his daughter graduate, and l liked him better than l liked her. I just don't want to hear them bitch about the ex.

Definately not on first dates don't want to know about your x mkakes me wonder if you are compairing

It's a treasure trove of information! What did they like? What did they not like? How can I make myself the better choice? What should I avoid doing if I want this relationship to last?

Depends. I don't want to hear about all the things the ex did wrong. My first question when the ex blaming starts is "what was your part?" No one is an innocent victim in a bad relationship. If they can't acknowledge the responsibility in the breakup, they're not ready to enter into a new relationship. They'll just keep making the same mistakes again and again.

Just enough that I learn their earlier experiences, yet not so much that it's monotonous.