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What's the best bit of advice you've ever been given?

For me: "Never forget that 50% of people are of less-than-average intelligence."

Jnei 8 Apr 2
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0

it's not a short, pithy statement. this is what happened:

i was one of two or three jews in the whole school. i say two or three because i knew about me and i knew about ronnie fletcher, who was cool because he wore purple shoelaces. i wasn't cool. i am not sure, even to this day, about the principal, mr. rose. anyway, the math teacher, mr. house, used to talk smack about me in class when i was out at band sectional (a friend kept tabs for me). he did not like jews. the core teacher, mr. whitmore, was not much help, telling the students (again in my absence) not to hate me just because i was jewish and carried a briefcase and wore glasses and didn't like rock 'n roll.... by the time he got through all the reasons they should set aside in order not to hate me, they probably hated me twice as much.

the kid who say behind me in home room and core (all the core subjects -- this was junior high) started calling me a dirty jew. i told him to stop. he didn't stop. in the hallway on the way to band (not sectional but regular band practice) he did it again. i told him if he called me dirty jew again i would hit him in the mouth so hard his teeth would come out of his toenails.

in the instrument storage room, i was getting out my drumsticks and he was getting his french horn, and he called me a dirty jew again. i started to beat him up, but i had to stop because he was so astonished that he just stood there. disgusted, i went back up to the percussion section, where i was greeted laughingly by a huge ninth-grader who already had gray hair. (i was only an eighth-grader, a year younger than all the other eighth-graders and small for my age at that.) he asked me what i would do it HE called me a dirty jew. i looked way up at him and said "i'd beat you up too!"

the head of the section decided, for the first time ever, that i should play the tympani part in the arabian dance from the nutcracker suite. i was thrilled! but while we were all playing it, the kid who usually had the tympani part loudly told an antisemitic joke. i turned around and kicked him in the knee. (i was so naive! i didn't know where to kick!) he yelled, the teacher stopped the band and demanded to know what had happened and ended up sending us down to the principal's office.

mr. rose came out and spoke to me. he didn't address the boy, though he was standing right there too. he asked me if i knew what "rabbi" meant.

i knew he knew that i knew what a rabbi was, but i also knew that's not what he meant.

"it means 'teacher,'" he said. "you're going to meet a lot of ignorant people in your life. you can't beat them all up." then he looked at the boy for the first time and added, to him, "understand?"

the boy nodded.

i wasn't bothered again that year (but of course i was in a new school the next year and that's a whole other story).

that was pretty good advice, yes?

g

16

"Never take advice from someone who hasn't succeeded at what you're trying to do."

skado Level 9 Apr 2, 2018
13

Don't spit into the wind, don't tug on superman's cape and don't mess around with Jim.

...and don't piss into the wind.

@Condor5 or on an electric fence.

@PappyOnWings, especially there, lol!

12

It’s hard to select the best but let’s start with this; “Two ears and one mouth means listen twice as much as you speak.”

11

"don't ever pass up a chance to go to the bathroom."

And "never trust a fart?"

11

~ Never make permanent decisions with temporary emotions ~

Often when we are angry, excited, depressed etc., we make extreme decisions. Bad idea! Let yourself to be calm and content when making major decisions.

Very true

10

Nobody ever said this to me, but I heard it somewhere and it resonated with me: “It’s none of your business what other people think of you.”

You sure tho? 😉 (what if they want you dead?)

@Qualia That's fine, until it becomes action. ?

@Qualia
I would feel a little bit bad for them because they are so inept at that simple task. Still alive.

10

Never sit on Uncle Walters lap

10

Don't do something because you have the right to do it, do it because it's the right thing to do.

10

never pretend to know more than you know

10

50% of all doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class.

Remember to breathe.

It is nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice. And if you can't say something nice you probably really shouldn't say anything.

And the most important one: Pick your battles.

10

My grandmother told me, "You catch more flies with honey, than with vinegar."
My grandfather told me, "Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see."

the best reply to the first one is "only a hillbilly sits around trying to figure out the best way to catch flies".

@michaelj It doesn't need a reply. I knew exactly what she meant.

9

Time is an elusive bastard. Go do what you want now while you're young and invincible.

So true! I often get asked if I have any regrets or feel that I wasted my time living for the moment. My response has always been the same. I met beautiful people and made wonderful memories.

I've had a lot of fun and did a lot of good. I have very few regrets as to how I spent my time here thus far.

9

Never tell your kids anything you don't yourself believe. From a humanistic rabbi. Deepest wisdom to clarify my own beliefs and my approach to parenting.

9

It was simple, but it somehow stuck with me - and I am sure that it was more profound than my paraphrasing here.

Always remember - everybody has their own baggage, and that baggage will influence just about everything they do in life. Most of the time when somebody you have not knowingly done something bad to first treats you poorly - it's almost always not about you, it's something to do what that baggage they are carrying around with them.

9

“Kill them with kindness.”

8

Mom always warned us, don't cook bacon naked. Years later, I learned that was good advice!

Turn down the heat. 🙂

@LimeySteve Sounds like the voice of experience, Steve. ?

You can cook turkey bacon naked with no real splatter problems.

@snytiger6 Doesn't taste the same, but I'll keep that in mind next time I'm without an apron. Thanks for the tip!

8

Never make a promise you cannot keep and keep every promise you make.

8

You teach people how to treat you. Okay, so this advice came from Dr. Phil, but it is brilliant. I never forget it.

8

Always be yourself unless you can be Batman, then always be Batman. ?

Had heard the same thing about being a Unicorn!

7

Question everything!

7

Use the right tool for the right job in the right way?

7

“No one will remember what you said or did; only how you made them feel.” - A friend who was an Army Chaplain.

Originally a quote from Maya Angelou

Marz Level 7 Apr 2, 2018
7

Always spend your money on good shoes and a good mattress because you’ll be spending your life in one or the other.

Iffy Level 5 Apr 2, 2018
7

"If your beliefs exclude anyone ... you need better beliefs."

7

A couple of things among many.
1: It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Emiliano Zapata
2: The best you can possibly do with your life is live the motherfucking shit out of it.
Cheryl Strayed.
3: Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
Marilyn Von Savant
I write down quotes all the time that resonate with me, but these three will do for now.

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