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Does anything about being in an atheist or agnostic social network provide comfort?

This will probably seem antagonistic, but I don't mean it that way. I first stumbled into the social network world back in the days of "newsgroups" in the early 90's. Mostly, the groups I belonged to were professional or hobby oriented. Like the current genre--including agnostic.com, Facebook, twitter, etc), any time a discussion became about anything other than fixing or designing equipment I found it to be . . . discomforting. I have to wonder if there is something flawed about this medium that causes people to jump to attack mode without any concern for offending others, making enemies, and being the loudest voice in the room?

I'm 72 and still learning about myself, including discovering what the "I" in INTP meant for the direction my life took, a little of what losing my mother when I was 9 (and she was 34) did to my life, and how much it cost me to live most of my life in the shadow of Midwestern religion and superstition. No going back, of course, but I wonder what the value of the social networking is to others. Is it a comfort or does it just stoke the fires of existing passions? Do you feel better knowing there are people with similar (lack of) beliefs or is it confusing and discomforting to find that there are people who have apparently escaped the irrationally of superstition but cling to every other unproven and harmful traditional value?

To be honest, the current social distancing climate is fine with me. I have not found many people who contribute much to my life. I've been married for 50-some years and have a small but loving family and if I lost that I would have no problem becoming a hermit. So, it's a stretch for me to imagine how all of this is suppose to add value.

TWDay 4 May 13
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53 comments (26 - 50)

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6

For me i cannot say i feel comfort, more like camaraderie. I am comfortable in my skin....

6

I think so. Many of us are surrounded by empty words of support by prayerful believers in the supernatural, which doesn't really help those of us dealing with loss, life changes and perplexing situations that can be helped by sharing with like-minded people, with hopefully realistic advice or philosophical reflection rather than empty words of prayer.

My emotional state is often helped just by knowing there is a social group, even though just in a virtual sense, that is operating on my wave length. A ready community to give honest answers, encouragement or set us straight, with a healthy discussion of pros and cons, rights and wrongs, and unashamed ways of looking at reality.

Well put , and I agree.
Thanks

5

Thank you for your honesty ! It seems years ago ( I am 60)
folks excepted and bought into the idea of self RELIANCE
in one form or another, and to some degree or another.This
credo or notion is EXTREMELY FLAWED. Ask any learned
social or mental scientist.( I keep learning and following the subjects this includes).
First if a society is wrapped ( warped ) by religion- it CANNOT except the premise that we & life IS IT.
No hereafter- no puppet master- fate- , angel- devil-
Second , this is a process as you have stated - we are ALL leaning . Most were innoculated be the culture of religion
and have been removing it from our lives , just like superstition or fairy tales !!! Hence I get comfort , education ,
solace , and ideas HERE. Instead of the constant drip drip
of religion that is RAMPANT around me. We are social creatures, as you have a family - that is beneficial for your
mental health & wellbeing. Some of us have " surrogate" families & outlets to keep our spirits buoyed UP. I lived most of my life without social media ( newsprint worked to stay abreast of events) , but sites like this are much more as we mature into the idea of interdependent. There is dating
and we are in control of what level of interaction happens.
This is important if we are discerning about the "quality" of our collective social time.( who has enough?).
To sum - yes , we could probably live without social conectivness///they KNOW THIS is not healthy !!!
I could find the similar expierence else where & do (hobbies , library , clubs , nieghbors ,ect.)= but this is the best venue for the DEPTH and QUALITY of interactions I have found.
Thanks, and be well

5

A very nice post, but it ends on a sad note, IMO. "A stretch," you say? Maybe it's just the ENTJ in me, but it's been my experience that you get what you give (and very often more) on this platform--just look at those replies below! 🙂

5

Many fights, wars, prejudice, and arguments about laws are due to religious beliefs. It gives me great comfort that there are people who are more concerned in the actual issue than defending their indignation of their religious beliefes.

I'm here defending pizza

Nicely phrased/// I'm in accord with that statement....🎶🕊

5

I love the intelligent, funny and wise members. It's a joy.

Your "either-or" questions present a false dilemma :

  1. "Is it a comfort or does it just stoke the fires of existing passions?"

  2. "Do you feel better knowing there are people with similar (lack of) beliefs or is it confusing and discomforting to find that there are people who have apparently escaped the irrationally of superstition but cling to every other unproven and harmful traditional value?"

"Either-or"....Social Media in 2 words!

Agree , like addiction - we can leave 1 ,,,replace with others.

5

As with most things in life, different people will get different things from a forum like this one. Nothing or no one compells you to participate. It is purely voluntary.

For myself, I enjoy reading others opinions and I appreciate a place where I can express mine. Making a connection with others even with a remote site like one is satisfying to me. I understand that it may not be for others.

4

My suggestion is join the local "Freedom From Religion Foundation." It does not hurt to befriend like minded individuals with a common cause. We must in this country stop the onslaught of religion into our schools and government.

4

The truth may not be comfortable. If you have to choose between the two( you don't). Which do you want?

4

Thanks for your comments and insight. I specially appreciate the lack of venom in most responses.

TWDay Level 4 May 14, 2020
4

“I wonder what the value of the social networking is to others. Is it a comfort or does it just stoke the fires of existing passions? Do you feel better knowing there a..”

Nope and I neither expect nor need for it to do that. It is very rare for me to find anyone who also identifies as an atheist and feels the way I do about what it is which gives rise to God belief. Since I do think there is something more within than just our own deliberations, I often find more in common with educated, reflective and open minded theists than I do with cynical, unreflective atheists. Fortunately I do know a number of good ones on both sides.

If a die has one on both sides then the game is rigged

@CallMeDave Then the game is rigged for sure. 😉

3

Value I find occasionally is in finding a very few really unique individuals from whom I can enjoy gaining new perspectives on life. As you mentioned, what makes them so rare is rejection of other packaged and branded systems of 'faith' that are mere adopted substitutes for formerly held superstitions.

Real original thinkers know exactly why they hold beliefs, notions and hunches about things because personal scrutiny was applied to almost all of them and the rest await examination.

Those who've adopted sets of marketed beliefs think subscription and agreement with systems contrived by others are personal products and CALL THEM BELIEFS, but often have little or no understanding of hows and whys - leaving devotees to fish for scriptures, talking points and the like issued to them as answers along with the shallow comfort of a group identity.

These people are the body of what we meet here but the few real thinkers to be gleaned and from whom one can learn are worth the disappointments.

3

get a pillow.
just kidding/not kidding.
It's entertainment.

3

I think the problem you’re having is the same problem we all have: the interface. Social norms are effectively blunted online. People will say and do things when they’re not in front of you that they wouldn’t normally do.

you're not your and I'll say it anywhere

Oops. The grammar cops are in place, I see.

2

Not comfort, but companionship.

2

"Does anything about being in an atheist or agnostic social network provide comfort?"

Yes... It lets me know there are other smart thinkers out there that look for their own answers in a sea of mainly idiots that believe everything they are told.

I agree with this.

Initially, I hoped for that, but then I discovered a large and arrogant contingent of Trumpanzees on this and sort of lost hope for human intelligence in general.

@TWDay Wh... wh... what? Here on this site? A Trumpanzee you say?

I think I have blocked a few idiots.... Perhaps that is why I no longer see them.

2

I am not sure that any truth is meant to add value or support other than the knowledge you are not wasting time and money in the fruitless chase for a heaven. Most people would rather hear pleasant lies than harsh truths any day, and not just in religion. I know a girl that is 55 and still wears big hair because someone in 1984 told her she looked hot with it, I'm not going to comment on how I felt about big hair in 1984 but it truly looks odd today. Perhaps you can still be an atheist and find comfort in some other venue in life.

2

Studying atheism affords one the opportunity to shrug off some of the fairy tales told by primitive misguided sapientes! ... john-henry

2

Not really.

Could you be more succinct?

@CallMeDave No

1

TWDay, I am not confident I understand what you mean by comfort. That is not what prompted me to join. It was the dual functions of virtual community with people, many of whom I can relate to on some issues, and opportunity to exercise my brain by considering lots of freethinker posts(and a few rather religion apologist ones) and to practice and fine-tune my own ability to convey a thought clearly in writing.

When you say you seek comfort, that sounds to me that any sort of challenge is experienced as a threat, or at the very least as uncomfortably awkward. I don't experience it that way at all. The discussions are refreshing.

You are right that some threads may devolve into rudeness, but that is also where we can grow by learning to be more diplomatic ourselves, both to respond to perceived insults constructively if possible and to learn to apologize when we ourselves may have overreacted in a rude way. For the most part, the posts I see stay on the respectful side. But if we are to insist on always treating religion with kid gloves, afraid of upsetting the religious masses who feel entitled to run society, we will surely have our rights steamrolled by those religious forces. Screw that! Enough is enough! Hitch was absolutely right. This forum is also a great place to vent a little and find some comeradery in the process.

I think my intention, it was a while ago so I could be deluded, was as much about "comeradery" as anything. Back in May., it seemed like the anti-science crowd was taking over the world (still does, for that matter) and there is no "comfort" in that view. Thanks for your response.

1

That speaks to being an introvert, and nothing wrong with being who you are. You would do better than I in solitude, but I am a ENFP, sometimes comes out ENTP as I am only slightly more FThan T. But I am an Extrovert, and would shrivel and die without a lot of human contact. Even if mostly on line. A psychologist once told me that extroverts are energized by lots of people and introverts sapped by it. It has seem true from what my introvert friends have told me.

I've known I was an INTP since I was in my late-20s, but had no idea what the "I" really meant until this past year. You are right about the major difference. Would have saved me a world of hurt and wasted time and effort if I had known what forcing myself to pretend to be extroverted was costing me.

1

Welcome..
Our Atheist President Lincoln lost his mom when he was about 8 ......he built a social network of lawyers judges and the 3 women of his life step mom, masseuse and Mary Todd.....won a 2 year job in Springfield lost re-election won a seat 2 years in Congress lost re-election as a Whig joined the new Iowa Republican Party and lost his SENATE race to slavery Denocrat Douglas.all of this is social networking by letter by speeches by newspapers by telegrams......politics was the only entertainment then ....except for Mark Twain Atheist weekly book chapters sold by mail ..... speak up write a note and see how people respond....since you are married there may be zero romance here for you .....there have been Atheist events like CHAUTAUQUA tent summers and Atheist conventions for 140 years...seek and ye shall find ....don't cast your pearls before swine xians
.....

1

For a lot of people religious environments brought positive experiences and communities for people to interact with during their time of need. With religious affiliation decreasing in much of the world its important that community building in communities stays afloat. Its why Agnostic.com exists and its also why many in person alternatives to church also exist such as Sunday Assembly and Ethical Cultural Centers.

Ethical Culture is 150 years old 64 Central Park West NYC

1

I’m not convinced as of yet.

1

"Is it a comfort or does it just stoke the fires of existing passions?" Are those the only two options you can think of for joining social groups?

"Do you feel better knowing there are people with similar (lack of) beliefs or is it confusing and discomforting to find that there are people who have apparently escaped the irrationally of superstition but cling to every other unproven and harmful traditional value?" Again with false choices?

"So, it's a stretch for me to imagine how all of this is suppose to add value." All of what?

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