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What are your thoughts on online dating?

Has online dating made finding a potential mate easier or harder? Do people actually make real connections?

Tutankhamun 6 Apr 10

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2

I was on ok cupid....i guess I'm too fussy. I did just end.a 6 month relatio ahip with a widower on there but i ended it. He had too many issues for me.

13

Online dating has really multiplied my results. Before, I was getting turned down three or four times a week. Now I can get turned down 75 times a night!

skado Level 8 Apr 11, 2018

Lol!

Dito-dito!

Yep.... Me too

@amnotgod thanks!

10

I met my husband online. We have been happily married for 22 years.

10

I married someone that I met online. That person was a major learning experience that I apparently needed. Now I have boundaries and I don't ignore red flags.

Lani Level 5 Apr 10, 2018

@GizmoAmbivert I meant that I first met him on a dating site. We lived an hour from each other, so we ended up dating in person for a year. I knew early on that he had misrepresented some things, and I chose to ignore it. So I'm not a victim in that sense.

@Lani I feel you on the misrepresentation and having consequences for ignoring it. I did that with my last ex and paid for it dearly. You're not a victim but you chose to give him the benefit of the doubt and were let down. It's not entirely your fault.

@ThereIsADog as you age...'benifit-of-the-doubt'...is in short supply!!lol

@Freedompath Very much agree with that! It's nobody's responsibility to make you happy but if you feel someone is actively taking away from your quality of life then run for the hills is what I learned. They may change but you sure as hell aren't going to be the one to change them.

10

I think it puts people into a consumer mentality, like it is a grocery store. The next one might be better than this one. Also all I've encountered lately has been scammers, so I've pretty much dropped out of all of them. It's just not worth the hassle.

9

Seems very unnatural, but as we get older and our lives revolve mostly around family and close friends, it seems to be the only way to meet people. I hope something comes to fruition, though better to just enjoy talking to like minded people. That concept is nice in itself, considering my views which separate me from the mainstream. We are social creatures, so I’m happy to do it this way.

not like good old days where you meet up for coffee or sundaes and chat and dance

not like good old days where you meet up for coffee or sundaes and chat and dance

9

Well, I haven’t been successful as far as a life partner but have met some great people. What’s the alternative? Bars? Arranged marriages? I am grateful for online dating.

@GizmoAmbivert
I met them in person after meeting them on line. It started by messaging and then phone calls and then meeting in person. Many have been great people but just not a 'match' in terms of a forever relationship.

@GizmoAmbivert
I see if we have commonality. I listen to how he speaks. Is he respectful? Do we share core values? It’s a gut thing. Upon meeting, watch how he treats the wait staff. That’s very telling. You sound like you don’t trust your self?

Arranged marriages actually sounds pretty good at the moment LOL.

8

I look at it as an opportunity to have dinner and coffee with company. That's the long and short of it.

Yes, pretty much sums it up for me. Difficult to find the chemistry online.

@girlwithsmiles I think on line to a point but then you have to meet up and have coffee and dinner to move to the next level

I agree with you too

@Rosh yes finding love is like the lottery,you have to play it to win it .for most of us online daters, the odds are about the same. I will add that I did meet somebody very nice on this site.

@Kojaksmom awesome enjoy your journey together

8

In my case, I first read "The Rules for Online Dating," and followed the instructions. I posted a profile on a popular free dating website, but made a long, complicated list of what I liked to do, and what kind of man I was looking for.

I made it ridiculous, mostly because I was only posting a profile to make it seem to my family that I was "looking" for someone. The guy had to be my age, a certain height, have a Masters degree, have grown up with horses, lived abroad, be a musician, be very fit, a health food nut, lean, have no current pets, etc.

I was following the advice of the book, which recommended being very picky, since men love challenges. I posted it and started to lean back when I got a reply from someone who went down the list of everything I'd said. He had just joined the website and didn't even have a photo up yet.

He said he was an airline pilot instructor, former Navy pilot, engineer, had owned horses growing up, had been deployed in the Pacific for years, played trumpet, was a vegan, was very fit, had no pets. He said he couldn't marry me at the moment but soon could, once he got his affairs in order after his divorce.

I was taken aback, and did my best to discourage him, but he persisted, and even flew down for my birthday to join me on a birding hike and climb to Lockegee Rock. Sure enough, he was everything he'd claimed to be, and we were eventually married.

@amnotgod thanks!

8

I met my husband on a website. It was tagged.com. We began DMing one another, worked our way up to phone calls, and eventually I moved from Maryland to Pennsylvania to be with him. We've been together going on 9 years and married almost 4. It CAN work.

6

Been on 8 different websites for 10 years each and there's nothing but catfish now. It's easy to tell if you google images of the attractive people.

It gets a bit depressing at times doesn't it?

6

Tried it. Still single. Have met some interesting people. Have met some scary people. It's a rather a crap shoot. I just wish men in closed monogamous current relationships would just not bother me.

Me too. I just ended up blocking someone. It gets old after awhile.

6

Mostly it is online chatting, then I press for a coffee and chat ASAP, and then rarely you are excited about seeing that one special someone again, and then you perhaps go on a REAL date. And if the real date goes well, you are no longer interested in meeting anyone else.

6

Nope, I won't do it anymore.

6

It has been a learning expereince. Met a lot of interesting men, some in need of a reality check on who and what they are as they portrayed themselves something they are not or maybe wish they were. It's a weeding out process for sure on both ends. I have been in a few LTR but nothing that made my heart skip a beat.

Sounds like we're all looking for something similar. Why is it so hard to find?

@Tutankhamun that is the ultimate question when it comes to matters of the heart.

5

Hmm, actually meeting a guy from this site for coffee Friday. With appropriate support and warning code word set up with a friend IRL, just in case.

That’s a great idea. Thanks. I’m definitely doing this.

@PinkPassion, she's going to text me, and I have a code word that's personal for her, so she remembers it. And she lives only a couple miles from where we're having coffee, so the cavalry is nearby if he turns out to be loonie.

Sad that it has to be that way, but very smart.

5

I can’t figure out how to get guys to meet for actual dates. Seems they just want to be pen pals or text buddies. Weird.

Press for a soon as possible “coffee and chat”, meet in person. If you wait too long the one you most like will “poof” be suddenly gone. After meeting in person then you have a better idea of who someone is. I enjoy these chats.

I'm finding pen pals who then want money. Seriously, we've never met in person and you're demanding money because of bad business decisions you made. FOAD. I have pretty much dropped all dating sites, not worth the aggravation.

5

It's very quickly increasing my jaded thoughts towards dating.

It looks like the key is...to treat the 'fun people' and the not so, 'fun' people, with the same 'broad brush! (Emotionally)'...and when a person that 'clicks,' comes along...you will clearly know it! It appears, that it is all in the numbers...if you have the time! A short, temporary 'spark', may be all there is...so you need a little time with any person to know that! I am not so patient...so that is the reason, I have never pursued, on line dating! Lol

Agreed unfortunately

5

Just another way to meet people. Whether that relationship moves out into the real world is up to both parties.

5

I met a very cool lady on zoosk and after two months we are in hig heaven!! Yehaw! Ok, that is a weird expression but I think you get the idea

hog heaven. don't know what a hig is.

5

I have found long-term relationships online, like my ex.

5

Apart from filling zeppelins with hydrogen, online dating must be the Worst. Idea. Ever.

5

It hasn't worked for me. Maybe I'm just too old and ugly, lol.

Nah, it's your devastating good looks that keeps the chicks away. Just like mine do...

5

I am now married as a result from online dating.

Facetime and video chats. She was a client that I consulted about strange happenings in her household. We just clicked.

4

Personally, I've had more success before, when you just went out to meet people in person.

4

It’s difficult as a female to interact with men because I’m always on guard as to whether they just want online/phone sex or a one night stand. These men typically are manipulative and it just gives all the really great guys out there a bad name. I hate that I have to look for clues and be so watchful. I’ve put a special note to not contact me if that’s what they’re looking for. Sad that I have to include that because like I said before there are a lot of great guys out there who don’t do this.

I guess I never looked at it from that stand point. As one of the guys who aren't like that I never considered the fact that women have to protect themselves from guys who are. Thanks for sharing

@Tutankhamun I just read an article about scammers of both sexes finding dating sites lucrative. One guy they caught after seven years often had two or three women he was juggling at the same time, and these were not stupid women. In fact, while the cops did very little, it was the women emailing each other, investigating on their own and pooling their notes and resources that finally brought him down. Sadly their money, jewelry, and little treasures were gone for good, and their once sound credit is taking years to reboot.

@Angelface it really pissed me off. I’m here to meet people for friends and a long-term relationship. It’s harassment. And it sucks because this shit keeps happening.

@PinkPassion it happens on this site?

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