Agnostic.com

53 5

Is touch important?

How important is touch for you?

ladyinred1967 5 Apr 11
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

53 comments (26 - 50)

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

1

Very important

0

Very. But it all depends on who's doing the touching and why.

1

Very important indeed. I’m the cuddling, handholding, spooning type of boyfriend. It’s good for mental and physical health and it makes me smile. So I now have a very big wrap-around pillow which is a very satisfying second best thing.

0

To me touching is needed for connecting to other people. super important in personal rerlationship.

1

Healing and also invigorating...

1

Very calming

0

Have not held a woman's hand since 2013 wonder what it feels like anymore?

0

I'm not a natural hugger meaning I don't initiate except in a romantic context. I go to some art workshops where the men hug each other and I'm like, OK, that's nice, let's move on. Ha ha. But I'm not offended or creeped out. They're huggers and I'm not so I don't get weird. Caught off guard maybe, but so what!

1

It is the end all, be all.

2

To me massively !!

2
1

Extremely. How I connect to people. Lots of hugs.

2

Touch is deeply important to me. As is consent. By and large, if I am with friends or good acquaintences, touch seems fluid and natural. I mean, patting each other on the back, shaking hands, squeezing a shoulder - that sort of thing. With intimate partners, I find skin-to-skin touch immensely nurturing and pleasing, whether sexual or not. I also find sexual touching immensely nurturing and pleasing; perhaps that goes without saying, but I suppose not everyone does.

I also think touch is hugely significant in my work as a counselor and therapist. For one thing, I don't initiate touch with a client lightly - not even a handshake. Consent is deeply important, and all the moreso if someone has hand a boundary violation, such a physical or sexual abuse. Of course, sexual touching is never appropriate in the context of that relationship, but sometimes a hug of comfort and encouragment sends a powerful message of nurturance, when welcomed. I also believe (and I think some studies prove this, but I can't put my finger on them just now) that a calmer person's touch can easy the anxiety of an anxious person, especially when there is a good emotional bond between them.

Yes, now I'm remembering that a study was done in the context of attachment relationships, in which experimental design included a woman who is in an fMRI machine and is expecting an electric shock. She holds the hand of either nobody, a stranger, or her close intimate partner (usually a husband) and then pain levels from the shock are measured in the brain scan. Pain levels were highest when subjects were holding nobody's hand, slightly lower when holding a stranger's hand, and dramatically reduced or even absent(!) when holding a partner's hand. Touch is powerful.

@sarahjustme You make an excellent point, and this is why I am very adamant about consent. I don't expect that the study I described included folks with PTSD. However, I know of a somewhat related study of the effects of Emotionally Focused Therapy on PTSD symptoms in cis hetero females. The results indicated that after couples therapy with their husbands, when the partners got closer, the women's PTSD symptoms also dramatically reduced. There is a relationship between attachment/emotional bonding and emotional healing. Touch can sometimes be an important part of that when done properly, and - as you say - with proper consent.

0

Depends on what you want to touch.

0

Most of the time, I hate people touching me without asking. If I touch someone first, then I feel okay. IDK I have always felt that way?

3

Touch is highly important (i feel ; ) ...pun intended! Touch is very important to me! It is #1 of my two top love languages. I believe if we as humans are deprived of touch we experience a slow and emotionally agonizing death.

Uncas Level 4 Apr 11, 2018
5

I'm sensitive about it. It affects me. A "vibes" thing, I think. I don't have a woo take on it, but I can feel there's something there and maybe someday in my lifetime science might catch up and give us the rationale in terms of EMF or pheromomes or something.

If I don't know you, I don't want to touch you. (Handshakes and high-fives are generally okay, maybe a friendly shoulder-pat with a chuckle and a smile.) If I don't know you and we touch and I get a squicky feeling, you're on the no-fly list.

If I don't like/trust you, I really don't want to touch you. Seriously. I don't want to get any of that "on me". I don't like the way it feels.

If I like you, touch is for occasional bonding or reassurance.

If I love you, touch is where I give you some of me, and take some of you.

Even in close relationships, I'm not a very touchy person. Not because I don't like it, I think, but because it impacts me so deeply. I have to ration it; I save it for the moments when it really counts.

Animals are a completely different story. I give the best scratch.

3

I come from a close family of demonstrative huggers. Touch is very important. Unless I'm trying to fall asleep. Then you have to be a cat if you want to touch me.

Deb57 Level 8 Apr 11, 2018
0

One of the Senses.

0

I hate being touched unless I'm being intimate/in a relationship. Even in a relationship, there is a time and place for everything.

What can I say..... I'm weird.

There is a reason behind it I suppose. And it doesn't mean you are weird.

I have a very similar experience.

4

Yes! Physical touch is a basic human need.

2

I am a toucher. Wait, I don't mean that in a creepy way, I just mean that in a romantic relationship particularly, touch is something I seek and give. I also learned to hug my kids and give them reassuring pats and so forth, though my family weren't particularly touchy-feely.

Thanks for sharing!

2

More important than smell, sound or image. It took me a while to understand that, but I got there in the end.

1

Absolutely.

1

To me personally, it’s something I crave if it’s from someone I genuinely like. The problem is, I don’t like anyone enough in this point of my life to desire their touch. After my last relationship, I suppose I became a bit jaded.

But, there’s also a medical explanation on why touch is important. It’s said that when we are in pain, someone’s touch can help ease that pain as it causes our body to release oxytocin. Having been a combat medic and having to see the light leave someone’s eyes as they passed, I held that young man’s hand until he passed and I think that meant more to him in that time than almost anything else in his life.

Thank you for sharing

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:55360
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.