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I found this question on an online dating site:

"Would you consider dating someone whose religion or spirituality is the primary focus in their life?"

Here is how I answered:

“Yes. Religion or spirituality...that leaves a lot open to interpretation! If we define religion narrowly as membership in an established church, synagogue, mosque, or temple, then count me out. I am not into blind acceptance of institutional dogmas. However, we don't have to limit ourselves to narrow definitions. Let's take a look at the word "religion." It comes from the Italian word "religgio," which means re-linking, as in re-connecting with one's own origins, or finding one's place in the grand scheme of things. In that sense, it is possible to have a "religious" experience outside of established institutions. In this broader sense, one can have a religious experience by simply grooving on nature. In fact, deep understanding of modern science can yield just such a sense of connectedness. This is somewhat ironic, because we tend to think of science and religion as distinctly different. And they are. Whereas acceptance of religious dogma only requires a leap of faith, science demands rigorous testing and independently verifiable evidence before any any hypothesis is deemed valid. But the facts about nature that science has uncovered over the last 400-plus years actually indicate a deep unity to everything in the universe. For instance, the field of evolutionary biology has yielded ample evidence that all living things on Earth are descended from a common ancestor. Evidence supporting this conclusion comes from molecular biology (DNA), comparative anatomy, comparative embryology, biogeography, cell biology, and paleontology (study of the fossil record). Studies in biochemistry and geochemistry indicate that the Earth, in a series of perfectly logical steps, spontaneously gave rise to the first living things. And the fields of astrophysics and cosmology tell us that the materials that comprise the Earth, all 92 of the naturally-occurring chemical elements, were forged inside the cores of stars. As Carl Sagan so aptly put it, "we are star stuff." Knowing all this science gives me a deep sense of connectedness to literally everything. I cannot watch an ant crawl across a twig without thinking, "wither goest thou, cousin?" How much more spiritual can you get?”

Is this answer likely to help me get a date? Probably not. But at least it might weed out the less qualified applicants! 🤣🤣🤣

Flyingsaucesir 8 June 28
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15 comments

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1

Hell no, shit no, fuck no!!!

1

You are right to focus on the varied and variable conclusions that religions make . All the rest - bling , robes, titles and preaching is theater (except they believe it is real). Parents and lovers have enough to think of in making a marriage work rather than avoid the clashes that two religions would inevitably bring.

1

That would be a yes from me. I mean you have whole sentences in there and everything. The fact that you have thought about the issue. Good luck with it.

Budgie Level 8 June 29, 2021
3

It will probably get you a date. Will it get you a whole lot of dates ? HELL NO.
But of the one date it gets you....it will be special

twill Level 7 June 28, 2021

Yeah that's the idea: one good one is better than a hundred that do not hit the mark 😉

@Flyingsaucesir Worked for me! I skipped the whole Spiritual, Agnostic, Unsure, IDK/ kind sorta stuff and went straight to Atheist.
Good Luck to Ya Flyingsaucesir !

2

I do not relate to the world in the manner that you describe. The word "spirituality" is a noise word to me - it means nothing to me.

How about phrases like "...in the spirit of fair play." Or "...in the spirit of full disclosure"? Or, "...the spirit versus the letter of the law? Or "...team spirit.? Or"...a holiday spirit? Or "...the spiritual heir to...? Or "...a spirited discussion? Or the word, dispirited? Are those meanings unclear?

@skado I can relate to the meaning of the word "spirit" in the manner that you describe, the nearest equivalent that I can think of at the moment being "atmosphere". In terms of spirit as any form of "spiritual religious experience", or as the OP puts it, connectedness to the rest of the universe, I have a complete blank.

The difference is intention. People can have intention, but the universe as a whole cannot.

That is understandable. The word is used in so many ways by different people, and they usually do not say exactly what they mean by it. That is partly what inspired me to write this post.

2

What you wrote will help others to understand you. It may not help you to get a date. These days I just say no.

3

I just say no

redhog Level 7 June 28, 2021

🤣🤣🤣

@Flyingsaucesir I'm a simple guy lol

2

Good post.

4

I have always been an atheist. I have been married twice to religious women. We understood each other and it was never an issue. Unfortunately both died of cancers. Religion did them a lot of good didn't it.

Boxdoc Level 7 June 28, 2021

Sorry for your loss.

You too. I only lost one wife to cancer, but she was religious too. Forty three not a good age for widowhood.

1

I'm just going to say, well alrighty then. 🤭

1

Not if it was their primary focus, no.

Davekp Level 8 June 28, 2021
1

Absolutely no

bobwjr Level 10 June 28, 2021
2

That would be a non-started for me.

2

I get what you're saying, to some extent anyway, but my answer is a firm "no." Yes, religion and spirituality cover a lot of ground and can have a lot of different meanings, even extending into more secular areas of life and not necessarily requiring deep faith in metaphysical realities, but the key component here for me is "primary focus." If someone declares that the primary focus of their life is religion or spirituality, then we aren't compatible. Even if they mean "connectedness" or "wonderment" or "deep appreciation for life," that's too nebulous for me in terms of being the primary focus of their life. If they meant something more specific, they wouldn't call it "religion" or "spirituality" — they would say "family" or "science" or "volunteer work" or "community" instead.

1

Great post! I agree wholeheartedly. I also suspect there are individuals (not the majority) who have “religious” experiences inside the established institutions, in spite of institutional biases. Experience, after all, can’t be precisely regulated by institutions. It is always the domain of the individual.

skado Level 9 June 28, 2021

Good point: just because it is not my cup of tea does not mean it is not valid for anyone.

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