She's constantly dodging bullets. I think it's how she stays so fit!

and.....

@ChurchLess I told him to stop it I didn't want to look at it. My first reaction was horror then came feeling insulted.I went out with him because his profile bragged about living on a totally self-contained farm with solar and windmills. I also told him that we were just not a match.

@Lorajay, @Organist1

One guy showed me a million-dollar check made out to him. Said he sold a house.

I gasped when he stepped out of his truck. He looked like the grandfather of the man in his dating profile. He saw my face and got defensive.

"It's advertising," he insisted. "I got you to meet me, didn't I?"

"It's LYING," I retorted. He had posted his son's photos. His dating profile said he was 55; he admitted he was 74.

I got a manicure for this?

@LiterateHiker The nerve!!! As if that would work. SMH... The last guy I met said he was 65; he was actually 75. One guy I was emailing with and having phone conversations with had posted a picture of a slim, attractive guy. He kept putting off meeting on Zoom. When he finally did, I saw an obese, hideously unattractive, unkempt guy who was chewing gum with his mouth wide open. Needless to say, that was a very short conversation. Statistically. One out of four men lie about their age on dating sites. Grrrr. I don't mind meeting older men if they're honest about it.

I wrote a song about it, and probably could add a few more verses by now.

Widowers might prove your statement wrong. When they appear in my hometown they are immediately bombarded with casseroles and other invitations. I've actually seen a few good matches from that. Casserole visits are another great tradition for churchgoers and they can get away with it without looking desperate. No I do not read the obituaries with hope, the news is much more interesting.

@Organist1

Exactly.

Most older men are divorced for a darn good reason. Unwilling to change, they take the same bad behavior to the next relationships.

The odds are good, but the goods are odd.

@LiterateHiker Well said!

@Lorajay Wow, casseroles! My home town is considerably less friendly than that. Philly 'burbs, ya know.

@Organist1 @LiterateHiker
Well Ladies, I must be an exception to the rule. In all seriousness. Of course !

I take better care of myself at this stage in my life than I ever have. Taking care/ talking about healthy living is what is easiest to talk about for both of us,.
I dress better. I prepare for the occasion as well as I can ( However I am socially inept)

I take care of my dates on a date...I listen intently and I don't have an agenda, except perhaps OUR mutual enjoyment. Timeliness and courtesy is my thing .
Flowers are a big win also, and I Enjoy Giving them. I love making a lady smile !

I actually truly like women and usually, almost always, prefer a woman's company to a man's
My temper is even better, might say it's gone.

And I believe every word you wrote because....I know a few men and many are "difficult", to the point of hurting themselves. Hard for them to relax, let go their know it all personas.

I could go on all day..............

@twill It doesn't sound like you are socially inept to me, more like a dream date, lol! But really the only things I'm looking for are honesty, intelligence, kindness, and a good conversation. Chemistry is important, but I'm not looking for Hollywood good looks. One has to be realistic!

@Organist1 I'm not from Pennsylvania I'm from Oklahoma and we are close to country.

@Organist1 TY! There only seems to be one place for me to find that good conversation....and that is with a woman. And honesty too. (I too struggle with honesty around guys, I can open up with women. Quite easily.)

Guys can be intelligent & kind to each other however

@Lorajay It's a whole different world.

So why are you out there? It's a huge pool of singles and many of us can't find the good fish because so many sharks have spoiled the waters.

@JackPedigo That's the sad part, but I just take each person as an individual, and try not to drag the past into it. There's always hope.

@Organist1 Still, for me, after a while that gets really old. There are lots of different reasons one is single and, I know, the term widower is rightly loaded. A friend was married at 17 and her husband died at 71. That's all she knows of A lot of people, male and female, marry at an early age and stay married for decades. They have no idea of another partner (my mother was one). Their life is their past and too often it is true but not always. Same thing goes for those divorced. They may not know of true happiness of another and just need someone to help with the housework or provide money. I think both you and I have run the gambit of these types. The thing that gets me is the subject of 'chemistry.' We let pheromones run our lives and make selections for us instead of taking the time to get to know someone before jumping into bed with them. Then the 'chemistry' really takes hold but it is the wrong kind of chemistry. Does that make sense?

@JackPedigo It does make sense, and I agree that people have far too much need for instant gratification. I have had attractions develop slowly over time in several cases. The problem is that with COVID, people aren't meeting each other in the typical way. A lot of people get to know each other through Zoom, and in that case you are not seeing a person in every day life, acting the way they usually do. In my life as a musician, I meet many men, unfortunately, none of whom are eligible. I don't hang out in bars. That leaves dating sites, and in many cases the real thing is far from what was presented on a profile, and not just appearance-wise. Honesty is a rare commodity these days, but I haven't given up...yet.

@Organist1 I think a bar would be the last place one would want to meet someone. Still, my last relationship was virtual (phone) for 2 months and then meeting for long weekends for another 8 months. It worked out better than I/we could have ever hoped. I still think virtual is a good way to start but, eventually people have to meet and spend time together. However, luck does play a big part as I have learned. At least you're in a large urban area.

@JackPedigo Yes, the bar comment was a joke. That's the last the last place I'd want to go. I live out in the country, about 25-30 miles from the city. I don't go there alone. Here in the suburbs, virtually everyone is married. Virtual meetings are a must during COVID, with an eventual meetup if things go well. I am the only female member of a large jam band, but all the guys are married or have partners. :'( That's my only social outlet these days.

@Organist1 Sorry, I should have known better about the bar issue. Still, how far would you be willing to go to meet someone? My sister lives in Bellingham and has met no one near there. She is seeing one guy from Seattle which is over 100 miles and a very congested freeway away. For me, I have to take a ferry which is 2 hours minimum (wait and travel time) one way. I am seeing a therapist and she says she knows of several single women here who would be happy to meet me but she's a therapist and can't do matchmaking. Soon the mask mandate will be over and maybe we can go back to in person meetings.

@JackPedigo I dated someone from Puerto Vallarta Mexico for a while last year, but we decided it was too far. I think 350 miles is a reasonable limit -a day's drive. My son is on the autism spectrum, and I don't want to be too far from him to get there in a day. He lives on his own, but still needs help from time to time. I don't mind driving. A few years ago I dated someone 235 miles away. We sometimes met in the middle for a weekend, or spent a week or so at each other's houses.

@JackPedigo Living on an island must really be a combination of isolating and beautiful. As a single person, that would make it more difficult to meet people.

@LiterateHiker For sure you are right about the goods being odd. The odds are good is a little shakier. There are actually more women than men in our age group, so that pares the pool down a bit. Add in that an older man with a lot to offer might also appeal to younger women, and you have the makings of a real bind.

@Organist1 Throw in a pandemic and things get even more difficult.

A reformed Mormon resume yet... OMG.
Run away @LiterateHiker. Run away. Ha, ha.

@RichCC

Sending me his resume is insane. Talk about desperation.

@LiterateHiker It could also be taken as a creative approach….it’s all about perspective.

I Google search potential dating partners for as much background information as I can find. I can't fault a guy for proactively sending me information about himself that I'm going to dig/search for anyway.