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Do you think it's wrong to lie about your age on a dating site? He's 68. His profile says 53.

For the first time ever, today I got blocked by a man on Fitness Singles. We were messaging back-and-forth. He let it slip that he's really 68- my age.

"Women reject me when they find out the truth," he said. Clearly he's going after younger women.

"All of your photos are head shots," I said. "Why are you hiding your body?"

"I could never trust you," I concluded. "You are a liar." Then he blocked me.

Was I too harsh? Could you trust someone who substantially lied?

LiterateHiker 9 Apr 7
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35 comments

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11

If he lied about his age where does the lying stop.

9

I'm not a fan of the idea of right/wrong so I classify actions roughly as functional/dysfunctional and clever/stupid. This is a stupid and dysfunctional strategy for exactly the reason you point out. If he'd lie so dramatically about his age what wouldn't he lie about? And it's stupid to believe the lie wouldn't be obvious at first meeting.

I like your thinking.

9

If he cannot accept himself for what he is how can accept anybody else for what they are?

I have no time for anybody who displays such intellectual dishonesty and emotional immaturity - you are well rid of him.

8

After wasting 10 years of my life with a lying cheat, I don't have any patience for someone who can't be truthful, so I'm with you on that. Honesty, honor and respect are pretty big with me going forward.

I remember when I was on dating sites, men often lied about their age, but corrected it quickly after getting a response from their targets. When asked why they would do such a thing, they would reply that they wanted to fit into the search brackets women were seeking.

I actually would have more respect for a man who is honest about his age whether he could pass for someone much younger, because of a healthy lifestyle - or a man who actually looks his age. Nothing wrong with looking one's real age.

I've been told that women also lie on dating sites about their age for the same reasons. And that they would post only head shots, often retouched, that didn't show their real body shape and actual complexion. I was always honest to a fault, as I would rather prospective dates be pleasantly surprised when they saw me in person - rather than disappointed as I was hearing other men complain about.

8

I have no idea why people cannot be honest, it is like the person they are trying to contact is not smart enough to see reality. Eventually, everything is going to have to be explained, if it gets that far. Much better to keep encounters authentic and let the honesty get one where it will.

8

Absolutely. A liar is always a liar. I don't care about age, but honestly is my #1 must have. The last guy I dated lied about his age by 10 years, and he turned out to be flat-out crazy. I still think he's stalking me.

I hope you have a can of mace and are not afraid to use it.

@dalefvictor I just bought a ring doorbell, which I will install on Saturday. Mace or pepper spray is a good idea. I've been sleeping with a knife under my pillow, and I have a good watchdog.

@Organist1 Are you proficient in fighting with a knife, if not, all you are doing is supplying the weapon that will be used on yourself. If you are going to be attacked forget you care about the person attacking you, punch eyes, scream, poke eyes, kick in nuts. If possible run like hell and do not give them a chance to harm you. All bets are off, make him bleed. I did not see the watchdog, I hope he can protect you or at least intimidate the hell out of the guy. If you have a smartphone find the flashlight feature and blind him while you stomp the shit out of him.

@Organist1 Oh, one thing I wanted to say but forgot about is: Do not get a digital lock, they can be hacked. The old key and bolt locks are better as they cannot be hacked, they can be picked but hopefully, your dog will hear this and alert you.

@dalefvictor I'm glad you told me about the digital locks. That's what my son bought for his new house! As for my house, there are the old-fashioned keyed dead bolts. Unfortunately my dog knows him. If he remembers him, that's not good, but he would protect me if I were being attacked.

8

Yes, I think it's wrong to lie about anything substantial in a dating profile.

6

He lies about his age, and only gives headshots. He's got a track record already for lying, what else is he willing to lie about it. Consider that bullet dodged.

6

Maybe he is like me and looks like a gorilla.

6

If I were to post a profile on a dating site I would post the following description. Previously leased transportation, age as stated. Daily maintenance carried out and bodywork in good condition. A few minor blemishes to be expected for the age of the vehicle, paintwork thinning on the roof. Runs well and gear change is smooth with variable transmission that operates appropriately for the terrain, a reliable vehicle.

Self start voice activated interactive modes. Kindly acquaint yourself with the user manual to avoid frustration. All inquiries answered and all reasonable offers duly considered. Please see enclosed recent photos, viewing by appointment only. 🙂

6

That's pathetic AND predatory. Good dodge!

6

I'm with you. I've never lied about my age and I don't understand why anyone does.

Me either. I could say I'm 47 but I'm still 57!

5

You weren't harsh at all. Good riddance to those liars!

5

I was on dating sites yonks ago, maybe 17yrs ago. Most of the men post pics of them in their younger days, some pics even in wedding suits when they first got married in their 20s. Lie about their age. Some noticeably in fashion from yesterday. Some are married but don't say. Total misrepresentation and premeditated deception ! Do they think we're born yesterday! Grrrrrrr

Or their picture is too fuzzy to tell what they even look like let alone guessing an age. And the really bad ones are a picture of them with a woman clearly cut from the picture, but her hand or arm still on his shoulders, lol.

@RhondaShotwell yip that too. Such intentional deceit!

5

I just hide a few bad teeth. But this is the year to get them fixed.......... finally !

twill Level 7 Apr 8, 2022
5

You were not too harsh. One lie = many lies and a host of other bad things.

5

I am almost 79 and I have my real age posted here, but it eliminates me from about 95% of searches, because people search by age, and most men want a younger woman. However, the truth always comes out eventually so why lie?

Many men also post a main photo of themselves that was taken 20 or 30 years ago....I think they believe they still look like that. Then you agree to meet them and an old man shows up.

It's best to be honest.

I've seen your photos. you look fabulous! The newest one, first time I've seen it.....you're still looking good. No reason to hide your age. A man should be proud to have your company

@twill Thank you so much. You made me smile 🙂

5

It's wrong to lie, period.

5

Absolutely wrong.

MizJ Level 8 Apr 7, 2022
4

If he can't take the truth, too bad for him. If he can't tell the truth, even worse.

4

He lied about something too easily found out.
Shows he has a major character flaw, and cannot be trusted.
He only blocked you because he's embarrassed that he got busted.

Another bullet dodged.

@KKGator

Well said.

4

Lying is a total deal breaker for me, as is toxic insecurity. Next!

Zster Level 8 Apr 8, 2022
4

Nope you are right

4

this was a rough experience, but he's the one who is badly dishonest with the whole community on a key point.

kmaz Level 7 Apr 8, 2022
4

Yes. Honesty is the best policy.

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