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Do you believe in love.

Do you believe in love? If so how do you describe it? Emotional/ physical? For me I see it only as a chemical/ biological reaction. I have never and probably will never get it. So your answers may help enlighten me.

By Fluffykytten
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61 comments
23

Love is indeed a chemical and biological reaction. Just like everything else which makes us as organic life forms tick.


That being said, the chemical and biological processes are merely background activity. It's the end result which is important

webbew1 Level 6 Dec 5, 2017
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Well said.

18

Words do not do justice to love.


Life is full of chemical reactions. Much of life is simply our biology interacting with the world. If you dissect love in such a way, it takes away the real essence of it.


Can you fully share the experience of awe you feel when staring up into an immense night sky full of twinkling stars? Or, into the bluest ocean with the soft rippling of waves and salty breeze that gently brushes your face? Love is that, but much more.


I'm not sure everyone experiences love the same. For me, I think it's far beyond lust. Something internalized in the deepest fabric of you. Woven into your very being is that of another person. So much, that their well being is fundamental to your own.


That is the best I can do. Still, I can't do it justice.

silvereyes Level 8 Dec 5, 2017
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And yet so deep. I "love" reading your posts.

Wow that's beautiful...I felt that way once...a long time ago.

@atheist: you caught me. I'm an idealistic, but not so hopeless romantic!

17

Love is a chemical cocktail that I experience, yes.
It is the origin of the most incredible awe that I have felt in my lifetime, and even though those moments included other humans, not a single word was exchanged.
I have felt different degrees of it, in different relationships, and it is profound at every stage.


It has made me feel drunk, euphoric, weightless, heavy, dizzy and complete.
It is dope.
It is intimate.
It renders me speechless.

AMGT Level 8 Dec 5, 2017
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@AMGT Thank you for sharing that.

@irascible

You’re welcome smile001.gif I dig love, very much.

15

Love changes. As a young person it is a combination of physical and sexual attraction, a deep appreciation of the other, a desire to share time and space with the other. As one ages, and if the relationship is real, it shift toward simply appreciating the presence of the other, an appreciation of how the other completes one's own life, of simply being glad to share he same life space and be there for each other. It is not as passionate, but just as deep and real.

wordywalt Level 7 Dec 5, 2017
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13

The beauty of having this knowledge and awareness about these hormones is that we can actively/purposely stimulate them. For example, caring acts toward another can increase oxytocin, and strengthen attachment, even with strangers. I love that we can be empowered in this way.

VictoriaNotes Level 8 Dec 5, 2017
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Me too, so much! Intentionally!

@AMGT have you seen this website? It's comprehensively awesome.

[reuniting.info]

@AMGT -- I'm referring to the science articles, not the whole website.

Nice, no I hadn’t and thank you for handing me this smile001.gif

10

There is more to love than a chemical and biological reaction, that just describes lust. There is the shared intellectual, emotional, as well as the physical which in time may lose some of the intense excitement but gains in depth and contentment. smile001.gif

Betty Level 7 Dec 5, 2017
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But there are all kinds of love, besides romantic love, and they are the result of chemical reactions. That depth of commitment you speak of is associated to the bonding hormones, oxytocin, and vasopressin, to name a few.

I would think the emotions involved cause the release of the hormones, not the other way around.

@bingst

Not true. We are triggered by outside stimuli, then the brain goes through memory to associate, then it dumps the cocktails, so we can feel the emotion. It all happens very fast..

From the link.. “ Second, the emotional reaction to the stimuli depends on cognitive processing. In other words, the evaluation of the stimulus (the person) in conjunction with past experiences determines the feelings or the conscious experience of joy or anger. Studies of brain functions reveal that neural pathways exist for these important cognitive-emotional interactions.”

The article I’ve linked gets into dopamine, norepinephrine, adrenaline, etc.. It’s all fascinating if you care to know more.

neuroanatomy.wisc.edu.pdf

That is how I stayed sane after divorce, when I learned that Love can be anything and anybody it does not have to be a partner! Filled me up and since than I am a happy single person!

10

Hell yes! I love, love and wouldn't want to live without it.

gearl Level 7 Dec 5, 2017
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9

It happened once, so I know it exists. But she died, and now I'm an emotional shell.

DharmaBum50 Level 6 Dec 5, 2017
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I’ve been there. My 1st wife died of cancer years ago. Hang in there, it does get better in time.

8

Romantic love I experienced three times and two ended badly. Then there is the love of your children ,the love of your pets ,the love of friends and relatives.If you have not experienced at least one of these you are very unfortunate . But if you don’t love your self (Not in a narcissistic way) I mean in a self respect way this can lead to negative consequences . I always think if you never loved a person and you were never able to love a dog ,cat or other creature then there is definitely something wrong psychologically .

richiegtt Level 7 Dec 5, 2017
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8

I think it is scientifically reasonable to take a reductionist approach to describing love in terms of brain chemistry, etc. Nevertheless, I find it more meaningful and satisfying to embrace the sense of wonder and beauty that experiences or even thoughts of love elicit in me.


The experience of love is most powerful for me when it involves shared empathy with another person that I trust.

CC_David Level 5 Dec 5, 2017
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7

‘Bait’


I found
a love nest
nestled deep
in my mind
And then
the bird flew
away, leaving
unhatched eggs
in an uncovered
bowl of straw


[gandholi.wordpress.com]
..

Maya405 Level 7 Dec 5, 2017
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That's a sad poem.

It could be sad, but a bit ludicrous as well.

ludicrous in that it's all in her mind?

Because of the strong image it creates of eggs in an uncovered bowl of straw, if you see just the image without the context, then it's a bit funny...

I'm not sure about the funny part. The image of eggs in a nest? That seems like they're still more vulnerable. Or, it's supposed to be ah, that's so cute? I'm also not sure about the title 'Bait". Is the 'ah, that's so cute' the bait?

Seems like it's time for AstralSmoke to become AstralBeverage...

6

I think what we perceive as love is a chemical reaction masquerading as happiness that tricks us into breeding.

resserts Level 7 Dec 5, 2017
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I'd say that's lust. Not love. You can love things that you don't want to have sex with.

I have had sex many times without love. Sex is an activity.

Ah, I was taking the post to mean romantic love.

5

It's probably over-rated. Personally, I think real love--however defined--is rare. I'll settle for a good companion, a true friend. Someone I can always rely on and share my thoughts and feelings. That doesn't take love, as far as I'm concerned. Maybe with all that, true love would follow. I can't answer to that because I've never experienced it. I did miss some good opportunities though. Guess I should just get a dog.

TwistedMister Level 5 Dec 6, 2017
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5

When in love, I’m both at peace with the universe and my body. That said, the person that brought me that peace can upset me like no other.

JohnGlass Level 6 Dec 5, 2017
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Loving someone is like giving them permit to brake you but trusting them not to!

5

Love is a many faceted idea with different meanings to each of us. Oh, we may share some portions of our idea of love with others, but I don't think you'll find a consensus.


That being said, remember that we are biological organisms and the biggest difference between human beings and most of the other biological entities on this planet is that we have reached a point where our brains are capable of carrying on abstract thought processes -- we call that mind and mind is who we are.


Mind is affected by everything that happens in our bodies, by external experiences, by our environment, and much more. We are social animals and that means we have a built in capacity to empathize with others, to form bonds with others. The key word is 'animal'. This thing we call love is generated by chemicals/hormones, our natural desire to be with others of our species, those hardwired tendencies that we call instincts.


What does it all mean? Well, if one bases their entire understanding of love on how it feels when those hormones are rushing along, being pushed by the instinct to procreate -- to preserve the species -- then it is a coin toss whether a lasting relationship will come of it. I think, and this is entirely personal, that to form a lasting relationship there needs to be a bond (friendship) associated with it from the beginning. Just my two cents.

evidentialist Level 7 Dec 5, 2017
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5

Yes!

AlexiaJaquet1 Level 5 Dec 5, 2017
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5

I think I believe. It depends on where I draw the line between "really really really really really really like" and "love". I seem to fall in love very easily. It sucks.

MrLizard Level 7 Dec 5, 2017
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5

I know that love exists. I experience it myself. I see it in others. It is evident in young women (18-25) in their faces when they are "dosed up to the eyeballs" with oxytocin.


In terms of how I would describe it, it depends on which aspect you are talking about.


From your post, it is just possible that you are asexual, in which case what follows may have very little meaning for you.


At its simplest, it is a strong attachment to another person who has the power to change how happy you feel.


There is often a sexual component where there is an inclination, however subdued, to have sex with the other person. People who are sexual will recognise the word orgasm" in this context.


I could go into a lot more detail about how a loving relationship works, but this is not the place to do that.


I have no idea if this will help you or not, but I hope that it helps to at least some extent.

irascible Level 7 Dec 5, 2017
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5

It is the combination of physical attraction, emotional bonding, similarities in core values, and the ability to keep up the shared and separate interests to keep the bond going.

SteveB Level 7 Dec 5, 2017
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4

I don't even believe in the word "believe."

FuckReligion Level 5 Dec 6, 2017
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4

Lust is the gateway drug to love. smile002.gif

Dougnostic Level 5 Dec 6, 2017
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4

Yes I do, and I want to experience it again someday.

GeorgeRocheleau Level 5 Dec 6, 2017
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4

Hard to say. I've seen love go wrong before, so whether humans were really meant to be monogamous as so many seem to believe, I can't say. But yes. I do believe that love exists. Biologically, it's an electrochemical reaction in the pleasure center of the brain that activates when you're with the object of your affection or thinking about them, etcetera.


But from a more metaphorical standpoint, it can be anything from a hindrance to the reason for being, depending on whom you ask.

ErichZannIII Level 7 Dec 5, 2017
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4

Wow, everyone seems smarter than I in this. It's like biological warfare.

AstralSmoke Level 7 Dec 5, 2017
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@AstralSmoke Don't underestimate yourself! You are just looking at the diversity of views.

@irascible yes, but no. It can be daunting up against this intellectual crowd, but I haven't given up yet. Well, maybe. It's past my normal bedtime.

3

Yes, I believe in love. It has had far, FAR too much impact on human history to be nothing more than sexual combustability. I submit for example, my love for my wife of twenty years. Would I leave her if she were disfigured in an accident? Absolutly not. The place she holds in my heart is so much more than the chemistry of sex or attraction (and visa-versa). I have come to have such an intellectual and emotional bond with her, that I can't imagine her NOT being part of my life. We've just shared so much, I don't have enough of "me" left to even begin another relationship of similar intensity. I had a lot of prior partners based on enjoyable friction, but none like my Kellie. And yes, we are both atheists.
One of my requirements for a life partner, is the ability to ask their opinion on anything, and to truly care about how they answer.

IndridCold Level 4 Dec 8, 2017
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