I don't talk to my religious family anymore.

Anything having to do with religion/theism that is directed at me, I simply ignore, tune it out and direct any further conversation to anything non-religious or disengage completely and move on.

When they pray over the food and want you to hold hands I would look around and see who else might be looking around also. This would be the person to talk with about all this stuff. Maybe they feel like you do.

Those who are religious will never get it. They will just be who they are.

And I will always be who I am. Anybody who doesn’t agree or doesn’t like it then that’s their problem. But from a family standpoint we have all learned to live with the differences.

I used to do the whole "live and let live" thing, but I just can't anymore.
I'm expected to respect their beliefs, while mine are ignored.
I won't do it.
I'm clear about not respecting anyone's religious beliefs.
It has drastically cut back on invitations to family gatherings, for which I am truly grateful.

My family always used to say we pray for you. My answer, pray for yourselves, you need it more. Why are you & your God so judgey?

Years ago, my sister, 17 years my elder, set down rules between her minister husband and me for when I visit. Absolutely no religious talk. I'm ok with that. Family talk only.

Because they're brainwashed they repeat god crap in most anything they say. I let them know clearly in a small private meeting with my 4 sisters to leave me out of any of their religious practices or I would stop attending family reunions, the reason I gave them is because not respecting my position was extremely offensive to me, just leave me out of your beliefs and we'll be fine, you can pray all you want, hold your hands, kneel or do whatever you were conditioned to do, just do not expect me to participate, I will just stand or sit while you do your rituals with the same respect that I'm asking you to accept my non belief in any god or religion. Sometimes they forget, I give them a quick serious look and they say, oh, sorry. It must have helped that I'm the first born and only male sibling, not sure, but since then they have realized that I really don't like to be included in their dogmatic bs.

I'm actually lucky because my mother was religious and my older brother is a former Jehovah's Witness and is still very religious but they never imposed their thing on me. Actually, when I was in Brazil, there was an Evangeloon starting to preach and my brother was trying to shut him up by discussing the Bible. Unfortunately, the guy was stubborn arsehole that wanted to have his way and kept discussing with my brother. He wasn't aggressive, only didn't know when to shut up. I think the crowd around us, some religious as well, got annoyed because they also didn't want to hear him. After all, we were at the beach, not at the church or his place. I should have spoken up and told him to shut the fuck up straight away.

Most of us who have religious family/friends do. None of them accept our POV and insist we put up with their practices because they see it as harmless to us. "Just go along" is their idea. It's selfish, rude, anti-democratic, anti-tolerant, and just plain wrong but they all do it. TBF, it's really one of those things that they must do and, if we're present, we must witness. The only solution that I see is to remove yourself from them but they will get hurt and mad. I suggest meditation on detachment and letting go.

I show respect for their religious beliefs at the same standard as they respect my non-beliefs.

I don’t have anything to do with any folks that are religious on any level. Because just like you, I grew tired of the bs…..‍

Perhaps this was your sister's way of saying that she feels her "God's presence" during this time of severe grief and sadness, and maybe as a warning not to begrudge them that, even though you clearly haven't ruffled any feathers in that way during this time.

For me, coming out as atheist/agnostic to my religious family members decades ago, I believe this was the first holiday season that their cards said "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" which I think was a nod (finally) to my non-religious stance and perhaps also takes in consideration that many more of their friends and family members are also leaning agnostic/atheist, so I'm no longer the only atheist they know. They could actually buy a box of cards that weren't religious for their non-religious family/friends. The "nones" are a growing minority. Nones meaning non-religious.

It just takes time, and a lot of just ignoring religious greetings and salutations. In time, the religious folks will start realizing that if they want respect for their religious spirituality, they need to also respect the spiritual views of others.

Golden Rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated.
Platinum Rule: Treat others as they would like to be treated.

"How have others of you dealt with religious family/friends who don't accept your viewpoint?"

I don't talk to my catholic siblings anymore. They're fucking morons. Voted for Trump because the church told them to (why doesn't the IRS enforce the Johnson amendment?!?), didn't get the vaccine "for personal reasons" and I suspect they wear aluminum foil hats in their houses.

Got a call from the Jehovah's Witness. They must be going thru the phone book. They never give up trying to weasel their way into my fortress of atheism. Blocked that caller.

They are hoping that you will change and find Jesus, not that I know where on all earth he is hiding.

As for the grace at table thing if I am at their place I will hold hands and wait quietly I do not join in nor say amen.

No one has ever tried it at my place they respect my boundaries.

As for the text they are just trying to comfort themselves. The more they say it the more they believe it and they are grasping for some sort of reason for cancer in people.

I just ignore it if they say it to your face just tell them you care for them and walk away.

If they box you into saying it back then remind them you do not believe and so it is a meaningless phrase for you.

You nailed it: they have religion to comfort them.
Religious / god-faith from the theists tends to swell up during tough times because to them, its their rock to cling to, and they feel they can endure hardships better when others are on their side. When a non-believer confronts them during these emotionally charged times to not be included with theists sentiments, (from my experience) its makes a tough situation worse (for them).

They are just not strong enough to endure the burdens of life's challenges without including god, and for them to see someone else getting on with things (bearing tough times) without god, it difficult for them to parse "how? where is their moral compass?"

Much like tough times, this conflicting interest in dealing with theists; "this too shall pass"

So my brother-in-law died last night. I will be there for my sister as much as I can. I just hope she doesn't bring god up too much.

She was probably reminding herself . Xtians seem to need to do that . My in-laws do that too.

My wife, her family, and my family are all very religious. my wife has never pushed it on me, but the others from both sides have.

I simply made my opinion on it all very clear to them. I was polite "enough" but still very direct and blunt. I pissed a handful off that won't talk to me any more but I'm okay with it.

If they are that upset with it, then screw them. If their belief in god is so important to them, I'm okay without them around. it's worked out really well.

Tell them to go pound sand. You'll be okay.

They just can't resist the impulse to proselytize.

I do have a question on a similar vein. Why do you think it's so important to family and friends that you be converted? I don't like to get into religious discussions with them, but I suspect they actually believe I will be going to hell.