I have an gyn exam scheduled soon to get everything looked over. And actually that was slow compared to when I met my now ex. Him I did sleep with on our first meet up. But was monogamous with him for close to 20 years. And that was only 13 days after meeting online. This one we didnt even meet in person until 17 days and it was the next time before we did anything. But that was after being divorced more than a year and a half.

@SimplyJaneen when you met your Ex, you could not catch something incurable........you have kids, you need to be more, much more, cautious. There are guys out there who Know they have AIDS & try to pass it on for "revenge"!
In addition, just so you know, the fastest-growing HIV-Positive demographic in the country, for well over a decade now, is women over 60, so tell your Mom & her friends to be Extra careful...the men in the appropriate age group resist condoms because we are "too old to get pregnant", but apparently not old enough to die......in addition, I have been hit on several times in the last 2 years by Much younger guys who thought I would be a "safe haven"...I educated the hell outta them!

@AnneWimsey AIDs was around in 1999. As for my mom...where she is at that isn't going to be an issue... Same with my dad... As for condoms, most men seem to resist them.

@SimplyJaneen I meant to pass the info to All older women!, not implying anything about your Mom! Most do not know this, and we get misdiagnosed at an Astounding rate if we do get it!
Resist condoms, , do without. Period!

@AnneWimsey my parents are in kind of an unusual situation. But I think i have read that rates are going up in those ages.

@SimplyJaneen for Women....for over a decade! We top every other age group in "new diagnoses", and when you think that doctors ASSume women our age have no sex ife, that is Terrifying

@SimplyJaneen my brother in law died of AIDS in '98, so I am well aware, but it was very rare for a true "straight woman" to have it back then unless a drug addict or with a major liar. Now, most are completely asymptomatic, may not even be aware they are carrying it.
When you sleep with someone, you are sleeping with every single person they ever slept with! An old saying, but 1000% True

@SimplyJaneen Before I got re-married, I had a pretty active sex life with multiple women-always used condoms. Even women who were post pregnancy fears (I'm v-safe anyways) accepted me using condoms based on "You know you're having sex with everybody I had sex with" explanation. Use it on men. You can be "clean", he can be clean but the clean woman he last had sex with might have had sex with somebody with an STD.If they don't get the message, they're too dumb to do.

@RonWilliam53 I get that I do. I'll admit I know better. He came around at what is a very vulnerable time of the year for me normally combined with feeling even more vulnerable due to isolating because of the pandemic. He became a distraction i wanted to hold onto at any cost and came to realize finally that the damage to be concerned of was to my mental health more than anything else. I ended it, kindly, let him know we could be friends but i had to much to deal with right now. Haven't heard from him since. My friend did warn me and at the time I wasn't looking for a relationship and thought i would be okay with just a booty call deal. But I ended up feeling used more than anything else.

@RonWilliam53 "they are too dumb to do" might be my next tattoo!

True. Just difficult sometimes as the rest of my siblings are married/partnered up and I'm not exactly considered overly attractive by the standards of most people. Why it took me so dang long to leave in the first place. We were married for 15 years.

@SimplyJaneen Totally get it. And I am probably not one to give dating advice, having been single now for most of my adult years.

@SimplyJaneen It’s not easy early on, being single in a community of friends where everyone else is married, but it gets easier. Focus on friendships rather than romantic or sexual relationships for a while. Get to know who you are as a mature single adult—you haven’t had a chance to get to know her yet!

@UUNJ realistically I know this and especially when my exhusband returns as he's likely to be difficult about the decisions I have been making while he's been gone. I dared to vaccinate our children! Our oldest child is bisexual. They're eating pork! The horror! Anyway, realistically I know this. Emotionally, it's harder.

All too true. I was fine too and then this guy started messenging me and it was one thing after another and I came to realize I really missed being wanted. But i don't want the emptiness that came from a just physical relationship either. Ugh. It does not help I met my ex before I even graduated high school so he was the only one I had been with since becoming an adult. I'm almost 40 now. And yes dating has changed massively since then. I have two kids too so there's that to consider.

Good points. Right now working 45 hour weeks and a pandemic is seriously cramping my social life. And I'm an introvert so I'm not big on large crowds. I'm more of a one to one person sitting somewhere and having coffee and talking for hours.

@SimplyJaneen that's cool. Whatever keeps you busy and enjoying life. This pandemic has gotten crazy.

That's not me. There are some Janeens running around though it is not too common of a name. But my last name is a color.